Maudlin floral tributes

I can understand people's temptation to go "over the top", it's easy to get carried away, I'd think.

I was going to say, the Jamaican funeral had white silk ruffles woven into the wreaths,and the mourners were all dressed in white silk, too - they were walking and dancing alongside the hearse.

I rather like the beautiful horses all bedecked, with their plumes, and the sounds of their hooves.

We just had the one wreath on top of both mum’s and dad’s coffins, and mourners could donate to a charity if they wanted to.

I think it’s quite tacky to tell the OP that she’s a snob actually. As far as I’m concerned, she was expressing an opinion and asking others what they think.

Sad how we only find out about people after they are gone, though.

It's amazing what we learn about people at their funerals.
If only we knew all this when they were alive.

I just attended a funeral of a friend and her daughter gave out all the flowers to those attending afterwards because she said they would be wasted otherwise ( cremation) I thought that was lovely and they are a reminder of my friend. The service was a tribute to her with memories from family and friends and a slide show of her life. Sad how we only find out about people after they are gone,though.

There was a Jamaican funeral procession here a while back.
I have never seen so many flowers, all brightly coloured, and "over the top", you could say.
You couldn't see the hearse, for blooms.
Reggae music blasting out, and pictures of the deceased, (a man, by the way) all over the place.

It was beautiful.

Criticism of a persons expression of personal grief is certainly
tacky

If family want floral tributes and it comforts them, I think that's fine.

Most mourners make a donation to charity now.

It's important that people are able to express their grief; I don't think it matters how they do so, as long as they can.

Haven’t attended a funeral recently where floral tributes were used, excepting maybe a wreath on the coffin. Most ask for donations. But is very much up to he bereaved. Have to add though that the trend in a park near us whereby benches can be dedicated to a dead loved one with a plaque attached, is getting a bit out of hand, with relatives putting bouquets, plants, toys, balloons, candles and photos, on the bench, regularly refreshing the items or adding more. Obviously there is hardly any room to actually sit down and tbh who wants to sit on a shrine anyway.
When I meet up with a friend we have to go into a little cafe in order to get a seat.

NotSpaghetti There is a lampost near me which was decorated with flowers (some real, some fake) when a motorcyclist was fatally injured in an accident there. This was several years ago and the flowers still sit there. I can't see the attraction of celebrating the place where someone died, it would be like me regularly visiting the hospital where DH died. But it must mean something to someone because the flowers are occasionally replaced.

If all the people who leave flowers for folk they have never met, after a tragic death on the news, if they donated equivalent money to a deserving cause, it would be so much more use.

The tributes are not doing anyone any harm, apart from offending a few sensibilities, so why criticise?

It brings work to florists, too, which surely is a good thing.

cc I don't like the roadside flowers either.
Not because they are maudlin or tacky but because they soon just look like rubbish.

I don't really believe in flowers for the deceased, but nevertheless I think people should have whatever brings
them comfort at such a sad time, tacky or not.

Yes I agree whatever brings comfort to the living be it Mum, Dad, wreath or spray. Choose what it right for you. It could be your loved ones favourite flowers or something in their favourite colour. All very poignant and unique as the person was to you.

There's nothing as tacky as snobbery.

It doesn’t bother me at all - tacky or discrete. Surely, it’s down to the bereaved and the wishes of the deceased? Even one of the tv ads has someone saying they want ‘flowers - the lot’. Up here (NE) it seems a thing to wander around the floral tributes after a funeral and read the cards.
DH was a countryman, so I ordered a big arrangement of greenery for his coffin. At the funeral director’s suggestion, after the cremation, it was brought back and he carried it into the house and laid it along my dining table.

I totally agree Madgran.

MissInterpreted

I get what you are saying, but they don't bother me - if it brings some people comfort to have a wreath like that, I don't see the harm in it. Personally speaking, I think it's a waste of money to have lots of flowers at a funeral anyway. One wreath or spray on the coffin itself would be adequate, I feel - but as you say, each to their own.

I agree with you, people need solace from whatever source.
When my mother died we had just one large spray on her coffin and it looked quite beautiful.
I dislike the way flowers are left at the site of an accident or death. They quickly look tatty and I feel that these are maudlin and they are often from strangers.

LilyoftheValley

I am sure that this point of view will ruffle a few feathers but I am mystified by wreaths spelling someone" name or saying Mum or Dad are popular? The person in the coffin does not know, people attending the service know whom the dead - person is and passers`by are not interested!

Surely I am not alone in thinking that said wreaths are maudlin and, perhaps a trifle tacky?

A wreath or spray is so much more dignified. Each to their own, however.

Funerals are for the living not the dead. Whatever comforts those left behind seems fine

It seems to me the named floral tributes are probably a comfort to the mourners more than anything, their way of showing their grief and how close they were to the deceased.

As my granny used to say, “I want my flowers while I’m alive”.

Different cultural groups and regions will have different traditions connected to funerals - and I am not referring to ethnic groups.

DD lived in South London for many years and always refers to the funerals with horse drawn hearses, and wreaths spelling out names and relationships as 'South London funerals' because she saw so many in the area she lived in.

I come from the discrete middle class funeral culture, no flowers except one from the immediate family and requests for donations to charity instead.

As you say “Each to their own”
Who are we to criticise especially when a loved one has died.
Your taste is not my taste is not their taste.
DH always used to say to me with heavy irony, “What a shame everybody else does not share your impeccable taste”

I think it is a personal choice. I prefer a spray of flowers on the coffin and this is what my mum and dad had when they passed.