Why bother

In Selly Oak, Birmingham, the bit where Sainsbury's is now, on that road used to be the dole office down further.

One morning in my early 20s I was walking down that road on my way to work past the dole office. A man was walking several feet in front of me, his wallet fell from his back trouser pocket so I ran after him and handed it to him. He gave me a really nasty look, snatched his wallet and walked on, no ''thanks'' or a wave or anything.

Only about 2 weeks later, same bloke, again his wallet fell from his pocket, this time I just walked past and left it there!

In 2015, totally different area I saw a signing on card laying on the pavement so I handed it in to the job centre which was only about 10 minutes walk away, it was snatched out of my hand and I was told abruptly ''go over there and wait''. I explained it's not mine, I'm employed, not unemployed and found it/handing it in, she argued left right and centre so I took out my drivers license and showed her my address and name, which was totally different to the ones on the card, she didn't bother thanking me for handing it in, just grunted.

I've also found packs of pills on the pavement and handed it in to to the chemist just to be grunted at!

I just don't bother any more!

Retired teacher here. Once, when our school closed due to deep snow, a mother refused to collect her 8 year old, so I walked the child back to her home (about 2 miles). When I knocked on the door, the mother opened it, dragged the child inside and slammed the door shut. No thank you. No offer of a jot drink. I took my frozen body back to my house - another 2 miles. The mother never ever thanked me.

I once found a mobile phone on a train and rang one of the numbers and the owner was eventually contacted and he came to fetch it with a huge bunch of flowers, as he said his whole life was in that phone and he hadn’t backed it up anywhere. I should say this was a few years ago.

On the other hand, I used to have a friend who was having a hard time food shopping as neither her or her husband had a car, so I used to take her to Sainsbury’s every Friday afternoon and take her home and help her unpack her shopping. This was long before online shopping was available. I did this for well over a year, my choice as I thought I was helping out a friend. I eventually heard that her husband had got a car, so I said I don’t think you need me anymore, but let’s get together for a cup of tea. I never heard from her again.

I found a bank card out side Sainsbury’s, I handed it to the young bloke on the service desk, he took off me, barely glanced at me & no thank you 😠

Many years ago I was on holiday with my DS, aged 7, and he found a wallet which had been dropped in a busy tourist spot. We waited around to see if anyone looked as if they were actively searching for something they had lost but in the end we handed the wallet in at a police station (which took some finding!) We gave our contact details and waited a few weeks to hear if the wallet had been claimed. Eventually I rang the police station to ask and was told, yes, it had been picked up. No-one had bothered to contact us, despite there being quite a substantial sum of money in the wallet, and, having always taught my son to be honest and kind, he was left feeling that "finders keepers" would have been a better option. It's difficult to teach children honesty if their attempts to do the right thing are not acknowledged.

Is there a possibility she is getting dementia - it sounds a bit like it

Once bitten, twice shy comes to mind. Not many people have manners anymore, and I honestly think that many of them do not know what good manners are or even what thank you means.

Not a question - bother because it is right. Those you help who don't thank - not important.

Many years ago at about three in the morning I heard horses feet on out front drive. I got up and put a head collar on him and put him in our Fron field. Phone police to tell them and went to bed
In the morning the owner appeared. He was furious because he said the horses front leg on barbed wire fence which we had for our sheep. He told me he would be sending me the vet bill
I told him next time I would lead the horse off our property and shut the gate.
I found out the next day he was not a good owner his animals were always getting out

Last December, when I was taking my usual morning walk when it was just getting light, I spotted a wad of cash behind a parked car. It was on the route to the secondary school so I doubted it would stay there long. I found that it belonged to the lady at the nearest house, who was very grateful. After another 30 minutes or so I spotted her running with the children through the streets looking for me. When over the shock of the discovery of her large bank withdrawl for Christmas spending on her children, she felt she wanted to share the money with me. Of course I refused, but appreciated her gratitude, and was pleased it had not been lost. It made me feel good too!

As a contrast, I later informed a neighbour that a rear light on her car was not working. He response was a scowl and 'I know'. Several days later she was still driving in the dark with the rear offside light missing.

My mother always used to tell us “Virtue is its own reward’.
At least you know you did the right thing and perhaps that’s what’s ultimately important.

crazyH

Gave my neighbour a lift to the surgery, a few miles away, for her flu jab. Talk about being forgetful (she’s 85) !!! I waited an hour and a half for her to return to the car. No sign of her anywhere. So I drove back home . She is one of the those that the 21st century has left behind. No mobile phone, no computer, doesn’t read the newspaper, due to bad eyesight….everything about her is Victorian ( I am exaggerating a bit ). Anyway about 6pm. I hear a knock at my door. My friend had come to apologise for keeping me waiting. She caught a bus back home. There was some cock and bull story about tripping over etc etc. I was rather miffed that she didn’t ask the Surgery to update me or send someone over to me with a message. She has no husband or children, but I am still cross at her attitude. Rather thoughtless - that’s the last time I give her a lift anywhere.

I feel sorry for your friend - she has a quiet single life in a way that suits her. Sometimes you do have to wait a very long time at the GP surgery - although an hour and a half seems a bit long - maybe she did trip over and they had to treat her there.

Could you not have just gone into the surgery yourself to ask what was happening? It's possible she got a bus back because you'd already left when she came out.

It is unusual not to have a mobile phone these days, even for people in their eighties, but it's a personal choice.

Sorry Aldom - age is no excuse for bad manners. She couldn’t have been that bad if she went to the Pub straight after her jab and her ‘trip’, had a couple of glasses of wine (there, I’ve said it!) remembered how to get to the bus stop, , but completely forgot that I was waiting for her. And believe me , I’m the only neighbour who gives her lifts everywhere and I don’t feel guilty at feeling annoyed.

I belong to a community support group - we meet up every few weeks and on one occasion a lady said she couldn't attend as she needed to take her car for repair at a garage some miles away and the timing would clash with our meeting as she would need to get a bus home. To enable her to attend I offered to follow her in my car and bring her back to our venue. I also took her back a few days later to collect her repaired car.

Fast forward a couple of months she was planning to attend a crafting display at a local town.....she asked everyone in our group if they wanted a lift, with the exception of me in full knowledge that my OH was away and had taken our car. There would definitely have been room as only two wanted to go with her.

Never again will I offer her a lift!

I found £70 on the floor in a busy pub. I handed it to the barman but now wonder did he just keep it.

I found an expensive mobile phone beneath a park bench a couple of years ago. I phoned one of the numbers on it and the person said she would get her friend to collect it from our house as she lived nearer to us than the park. I said I had grandchildren with me and were going home on the bus, so to tell her to wait an hour so we could get home. She duly drove to our house, took the phone with barely a thank you, and drove off.

crazyH

Gave my neighbour a lift to the surgery, a few miles away, for her flu jab. Talk about being forgetful (she’s 85) !!! I waited an hour and a half for her to return to the car. No sign of her anywhere. So I drove back home . She is one of the those that the 21st century has left behind. No mobile phone, no computer, doesn’t read the newspaper, due to bad eyesight….everything about her is Victorian ( I am exaggerating a bit ). Anyway about 6pm. I hear a knock at my door. My friend had come to apologise for keeping me waiting. She caught a bus back home. There was some cock and bull story about tripping over etc etc. I was rather miffed that she didn’t ask the Surgery to update me or send someone over to me with a message. She has no husband or children, but I am still cross at her attitude. Rather thoughtless - that’s the last time I give her a lift anywhere.

This post is totally lacking in understanding and compassion.

About 30 years ago, I found £80 in an envelope in a side street. I took it to the police station to hand it in and I was there when the person who had lost it rang in to report the loss.

The police officer on the desk told her that the lady who had found it was still with him. Did she ask him to express her gratitude to me or speak to me herself? No, not even when I was virtually in her presence. She just said that she would be in to collect it and ended the call.

Even the police officer on the desk, who must have seen much in his career expressed his shock at her failure to express any gratitude to the person, who had picked the money up, not pocketted it and then driven out of their way to hand it in at the police station.

We were outside TKMaxx on a very hot day a few years ago and saw a very distressed small child strapped in a car seat, no adult to be seen. Goodness knows how long he'd been left in there. I stayed by the locked car to try to calm him while DD went to find the mother.
When she was found she was most abusive!

Gave my neighbour a lift to the surgery, a few miles away, for her flu jab. Talk about being forgetful (she’s 85) !!! I waited an hour and a half for her to return to the car. No sign of her anywhere. So I drove back home . She is one of the those that the 21st century has left behind. No mobile phone, no computer, doesn’t read the newspaper, due to bad eyesight….everything about her is Victorian ( I am exaggerating a bit ). Anyway about 6pm. I hear a knock at my door. My friend had come to apologise for keeping me waiting. She caught a bus back home. There was some cock and bull story about tripping over etc etc. I was rather miffed that she didn’t ask the Surgery to update me or send someone over to me with a message. She has no husband or children, but I am still cross at her attitude. Rather thoughtless - that’s the last time I give her a lift anywhere.

Just before Christmas one year we found a couple of parcels that had fallen from a delivery van (which had already disappeared). It was virtually impossible to contact the courier company and in the end we delivered them ourselves in the nearby town.

The first person had obviously been waiting anxiously for the parcel and was greatly relieved to get it. He insisted on giving us a bottle of wine. The second person was an older lady and the parcel was a present from her son who lived at the other end of the country. She wanted to pay us for our trouble (we didn't take anything).

We just felt that it was the season of kindness and goodwill and didn't want them to miss out.

Another time a neighbour's horses had got out onto the road (she was out at the time, so didn't know). I had visions of nasty accidents; I couldn't sit and watch that happen to them so we ushered them back into their field. We didn't make an issue of it but when the neighbour found out she arrived with thank you flowers.

It is good to be thanked. I found a purse years ago stuffed full of money in the road near my house. I knew my neighbours to be decent people so I knocked on doors. The first few said no it didn't belong to them.
I knocked at my friend's house and the owner of the purse was there. She was shocked that she could have lost all her holiday money.
A few days later she came to my house with a huge box of chocolates. She had already thanked me and that would have been enough but it was nice to know people are grateful for honesty.

Yes, a car parked in the parent and child at our local Lidl had the rear passenger door wide open with a handbag and shopping bag on the seat.
I stayed with the car for 20 minutes, eventually a couple arrived, they did not have English as a first language, I explained what had happened, I was dismissed with a wave of the hand!
So I gave them a mouthful for parking in the parent and child without a child n

Just rude.

You bother because you’re a decent person.

Please don’t stop bothering!