“Feeling Lonely? Let’s Chat and Support Each Other”

Hi Doodle, yes I am having follow up appointments.I had an MRI scan yesterday,then I’m having a 48 hr heart monitor…I think we should keep this thing going.There are so many of us ,
Many of us worked all our lives and brought up our children,friends have moved away or died ,now we are empty
handed……time on our hands,which we always wanted when we were young and busy.Do any Gransnetters meet up in person?
I am so sorry for your loss, it’s so hard to bear.

I have just read through all your posts and it's nice to have this thread.
Madeline, you have been through so much, I hope you are soon in your flat and settled. I need to move but keep putting it off do struggling on with a house and maintenance etc.
Lucy, I really feel for you living on your own on an empty caravan site. Is this a temporary arrangement?, It cant be good for you.
I have been a widow a long time, come to terms with it now. I can't remember feeling really happy as I did before that, with a loving husband and a family round me. My d estranged me and that let me to a lack of confidence, I felt as if people were judging me. Don't see my son and family much, he's always busy. I meet friends for a catch up and go on the occasional holiday, but I feel the odd one out with friends so much a part of family life and I m on the edge. I love my hone, gardening when I can and every say I go a walk depending in his I feel that day determines how far. .Soending tge day with my son and family Chrustmas and I feel a different person with them.
My suster and partner, haply just stopping in and font have visitors. I love it when people come it's just as you get older friends die or move away and your world can get smaller especially if your have an illness.
Hope I don't sound to depressing, I'm not really.
Will be looking in after Christmas Day to see how everone is.

BA69 i lost my husband in May. My first Christmas without him too. You are brave booking yourself a trip hope it goes well for you
Taichinan what a lovely post for those of us recently bereaved. Thank you for your encouragement.

I was lucky enough to be included in an invitation to my daughter’s today even though the main guests were her husband’s relatives. We had a turkey dinner. I’m going to my son’s on 25th and he insists I stay over, though I would prefer not to, but I guess it is better than coming back to an empty house. Then daughter’s again on 27th.

This was looking like my first ever Christmas on my own, but my son and his wife have now invited me for dinner and tea on Christmas Day, so something to look forward to. Plus, we`re having a family meal out on Christmas Eve, that will be nice as well.

Hello everyone. That's my sleigh packed for early take-off tomorrow morning. I don't expect I'll be doing this too many more times, so I'm treating everything like a last time to be savoured and enjoying every minute. I'm keeping on with my upbeat posts because I want all those of you who are lonely, unhappy and bereaved to know that a light really does shine at the end of the long dark tunnel you are travelling through. I really have been where you are and know the despair and the dreadful emptiness. Loving thoughts x

Christmas is looking like a family estrangement may be coming to an end, I’ve wanted to bang heads together for the last year and tried to reason with the 3 concerned but they weren’t having any of it. I just learned that one of them has offered an olive branch and it’s been accepted fingers crossed it will all be ok.
I’ve not got much done today had a quick walk and read my book. Enjoy the rest of the day.

This is my first Christmas alone since my husband passed in August and we had no family, I am just going to have a quiet day with a simple meal. However, I have booked a short Twixmas break in a local hotel (I live in a holiday resort) and there will be plenty of entertainment going on and meals, so that will be my Christmas present to myself and will give me something to look forward to although I am a bit nervous. I need to get out of this rut I have got into since the dark nights came in, I haven't really being going anywhere so this will be the first small step. If anyone is lonely on Christmas Day they can come on here and chat and perhaps have a little drink or a coffee and raise a toast to better times ahead. In the meantime I hope you all have a lovely Christmas in whatever way you wish to.

My goodness, if this rain continues we will all have webbed feet!
Our Christmas tree lights failed yesterday, the old fashioned sort,we’ve had them years.
Nice new ones delivered by Mr Amazon, LED, silly
but feel a bit sad about the old ones- they had history.
Think we are sorted for Christmas ,just an Ocado delivery tomorrow night with the essentials.
We shall be just the two of us and I am grateful for that but nostalgic for past years.
Thinking of all who find this time of year hard, lighter nights are coming and as always Spring will come again.

A bit late posting today. Went to the supermarket this morning and got everything! Just made 3 dozen mince pies. Now having a sit down with a coffee. We did manage a walk around our local lake earlier as well. Hope there is something worth watching on TV this evening ha ha. Happy Sunday to all.

JPB just hope that people keep coming in. Lots of us are lonely. Some just on their own and content but others like me who can’t settle without my dear man beside me.
Nice to have a chat,
Have you got any follow up sessions or support after your stroke?
Dempie thank you for your reply. I’m hoping I can become more comfortable at home but it is as you say early days although for me it feels like a lifetime already.
Lucyd thank you. I can imagine it’s not nice being anywhere where there aren’t others around. I hope the season picks up after Christmas and more people come to stay.

Great idea Devine05! I will be living alone from next week and dreading it.I posted on here recently and everyone was very kind.I had a stroke on December7th and feel even more needy .However ,I’m determined to carry on carrying on.How do we keep this chatty thread going?Best wishes.x

Hello all. I hope you're all 'coping' today and perhaps the sun is shining on you.
I had one of those lovely days yesterday, meeting up with the Scottish bits of my family, one of whom is my one-year-old great grandson! Such a joy - and if course he's the bonniest, brightest, cleverest little person you could hope to meet 😉. AND I was given my very first Great Grandma card!
We live too far apart for casual pop-ins - I'm north east coast, they're south west coast - so times like this are so special.
After 30 years of widowhood I still miss my husband - without the pain now, but with sadness at all he has missed of life. My greatest feeling is of thankfulness that he lived, that we were, and that we put these rather wonderful people on the planet.
So, onto the final burst of present-wrapping, housework, ironing and sleigh-packing before I leave before first light to head south for another family gathering.
Sending love and hugs to you all x

\happy Saturday to all. A quieter day today. Enjoyed my catch up yesterday with a friend. Managed a shop too and got quite a bit done. I do fancy a little wander around the shops this afternoon but other half said 'What'! when I suggested it ha ha. I do not have to look for something in particular, I just fancy a browse. Looks to be getting a bit brighter out there so will have a walk this morning and then see. Best wishes to all today!

Doodle, I have always enjoyed being at home on my own but after my husband died I couldn't bear to be in the house on my own. Fortunately my lovely Dad was still alive and he came over every day and that was a huge help. Nearly six years now and until recently I was coping well with being on my own. However I am sure this is a "blip" due to the change in my current accommodation ( static caravan in a deserted caravan park - I am sure it will be busy from March onwards but there is never a soul to be scene at the moment) combined with feeling under the weather. Give yourself time. This first year I think I was in a state of shock for much of the time. I still have moments when I am terribly sad but I also have times of great joy which I never, ever thought I would feel again.

It's almost Christmas and I'm not ready. So a panicky feeling is setting in now. I'm trying to breathe and relax.
I'm meeting my grandson for lunch today. So that will be lovely, with his very different outlook on life which makes him interesting. He's autistic and very intelligent.
Sending sympathy to all those finding themselves alone for the first time. It takes a while to get used to living alone, but you do, eventually. Good wishes everyone.

Doodle

Dempie did it take you a while to get used to being on your own at home? My husband died in May and I still neeed to get out every day and meet people. We were very happy together in our home and I would love to get to a point where I was comfortable here and at peace.

Doodle, it’s still early days for you - peace will come eventually. For me, the first year was grief and shock, the second year was acceptance and grief, the third year was coping (with little splashes of grief here and there.) It was only in the fourth year that I reached a place of calm tranquility - can’t really call it “happiness” but it’s as close as I’ll get now, so it’s fine.

Morning everyone, feeling a bit dizzy this morning. had a grandchild sleepover and had to get them to school. Not easy having to leave early to get them to school as we live a drive away. We always like to park away from the school and then walk. It never ceases to amaze me just how many selfish people there are about. Parking right at he school making it difficult to walk and cross the road. Going to have a coffee and settle down. Planning a good walk this morning and a nice one this afternoon with a friend. Looking forward to meeting her as we always do a cafe as well. Simple pleasures, yet I love them! Happy day to all.

oh my dh has been dead for 4 years plus just before covid, though I have some church friends I socialise with and some family, I am lonely, is it a mental condition? I need to get out most days also Doodle, I count it a success if I manage to stay in one day, very occasionally. just me and my cat. it is so many changes that seems to get to me.. I am practising " I am positive" mantra today..

I know about being a worrier Lucyd! love to you all.

Dempie did it take you a while to get used to being on your own at home? My husband died in May and I still neeed to get out every day and meet people. We were very happy together in our home and I would love to get to a point where I was comfortable here and at peace.

Lovely to read all the posts. My static caravan survived the stormy weather (I knew it would but I am adreadful worrier) but a massive tree did come down completely blocking the coastal road. Fortunately someone had been up very early and managed to saw it up and move it (must have been a farmer with a massive tractor!)
Decided to write down things that have gone well for me each day and managed 6 yesterday! That did make me feel more cheerful even though they were hardly earthshattering. I know I will find the next couple of months difficult but that I will get through them. Life will never be the same as it was before I lost my husband but there is still joy to found.

Hi everyone! I’m on my own, been widowed for 4 years. Just me and my cat now. I downsized and live 10 minutes from the Irish Sea- love going for walks along the flat prom! I’m gradually becoming more comfortable with my own company in my tiny new home. I read, and listen to loads of stuff on Radio 4, and 4 extra, music on Radio 3 and history podcasts on BBC sounds. I’m currently addicted to Vinted, love having new clothes for pennies, and selling my unwanted wardrobe keeps me busy and gets me out of the house on trips to Inpost locker. My children are a bit away/working, so I am home alone for Christmas, but it’s fine, no stress! If anyone on here wants to chat then, I will pop in!

I've been to the James Herriot house in Thirsk. Very poignant for family reasons.

madeleine45

Well at last some better news. I am totally exhausted , it is gone 10pm and have been awake since 4.30 am but, after delays problems and sat in chaos in a cold flat with no hot water or electricity, and the phone not working to boot, this evening the great plumber and his electrician mate arrived and hurrah hurrah I now have a working toilet, and yes!! hot water, a whole tank full. Still much to do but the shower is connectd and the fan extractor, but seat for the shower not here until tomorrow.. I would have liked to wash up in the kitchen and clean it as it is under a layer of gray dust everywhere, but my back just wont let me do any more tonight, so am about to go back to the hotel for a much needed rest and hope to tackle some things tomorrow. I can actually think now of getting in touch with friends and will be going to sing of course. So shall be able to contact a couple of charities that I usually sing with and join them. It is still going to take a long time to get sorted but the next dry day that I am in less pain, I shall make up a picnic, put my china mug, cafetiere and thermos in the car and go to m y special place. I will drive up through the villages of Askrigg etc and over the buttertubs to my beloved Swaledale and up above Thwaite. i will have my binoculars , watch the birds and look across the meadows and lthink of my darling husband whose ashes are scattered there There will be my poetry books and radio three to listen to Bach on the way back (he is composer of the week at 4pm for anyone who loves his music) When I am sat there everything else will be more in perspective and I feel that I am a tiny part of that place but that is where I belong. When I am ready I shall take a slow drive down Swaledale and not let christmas rush bother me. Music, poetry , reading and being very aware of the pleasure of somewhere warm and dry to sit , so long as I dont harm anyone else I can please myself . Time to go to bed. Hoping that something has improved your day for you and that everyone can start their day tomorrow with something good.

Hello! I am so glad things seem to be coming together for you.
I loved your message, partly because it brought back such happy memories of holidays the family, (me, my husband and two daughters) were lucky enough to spend in Yorkshire in 1980 and 82. The girls were 10 and 12 then and absolutely adored Yorkshire, especially the places you mentioned, all of which we actually visited! You are so lucky to live in such a beautiful place.
At the time, I was addicted to the James Herriot books and dragged the family to see where he lived in Thirsk. (Doing that was one of the reasons we went to Yorkshire). On my return home, I wrote to him, asking for his autograph that I could paste it in one of the books and received a beautiful handwritten message back, including, of course, his autograph! What a lovely man! Such happy memories.
How things change. My husband died over four years ago. Nothing is really worthwhile without him although I have my great family, including grandchildren who live locally and who include me in their lives. Christmas to me now is a chore which I go along with for the family’s sake. I do enjoy it once I’m there as we have a great time but, to be honest, I’d be quite happy to stay at home on my own with a box of chocs and a bottle of wine!
I hope everyone has a lovely Christmas and that 2025 is happier than 2024 has been for some.

I like this thread for encouraging people to express their feelings when they feel down and bringing people together for for general chit-chat. As Jeanathome has rightly said, "It's OK to struggle at any time of year."

It also makes for a nice change of tone as the thread I probably dip into the most is News and politics, which is all very dreary at the moment with people venting about the Government and politics in general. I understand their frustration though!

I hope this thread continues and I am sure the OP will be back when she sees how many other people have posted.

I hope everyone has a pleasant time over the Christmas period, whatever they are doing. This year DH and I are on our own at home for the first time in years and we are looking forward to pottering about and a long walk somewhere in the London area on Christmas Day, weather permitting.