Family Christmas dilemma

This is such a bad idea. Just say no and stick to your guns.

Do NOT, repeat NOT let him do this.
Please please tip them the wink (secretly perhaps) so that they can pretend to be surprised.
And who turns up empty handed? FFS buy some booze, flowers, chocolates, maybe posh cheese and crackers (and have the phone no of a local hotel - you may need it.)

If you do it please take a photo the instant they answer the door, that instant before they cover the horrendous shock with the unconvincing smile.

If one of my family did to me what the OP's DH has in mind, I would be sorely tempted to say 'No room at the Inn' and close the door on him.

What happens if the family, instead of greeting him with the delight he is expecting, look at home aghast, and say' Why on earth didn't you tell us you were coming?' What happens of rows and tears happen because of the inconvenience he is causing, because someone has probably got to provide you with a bed for how many nights? bedrooms may need rearranging, beds remade.

Has he made any atempt to see if he will even be able to find a hotel for the night. Most hotels will either be running Christmas packages for people wanting Christmas away from home, with meals, or they will have closed down for the Christmas period. There will be no hotel rooms available.

The family saying 'When are you coming down to see us again' is not in any shape or form an invitation to turn up on the doorstep on the biggest day of the year, 2 of you, expecting to be greeted with joy and the whole day turned upside down trying to find space at the table and somewhere for you to sleep.

There after this Christmas will feature in family history 'as that awful Christmas when x &y just turned up on our doorstep just as we were sitting down to lunch, and we had to disrupt everything to extend the table, find cutlery and china and we didn't eat until everything was cold and had to be reheated - then they wanted us to give them a bed for the night!!!!

Allira I have been on GN for some time now. I don’t post very often but I love reading all the chat.

Thank you GNers, you didn’t let me down! I was beginning tofeel as though I was being really unreasonable with him. His niece always hosts dinner for her parents ( DH’s brother and his wife ), her three children and her sister and her three. It’s a lively affair. I was brought up to wait for an invite for Christmas dinner. If I was on my own I wouldn’t dream of just turning up. I’m estranged from my AD and her family ( OH and three GS) and my AS has not been in contact with me since June. I was anxious about causing a problem with DH’s family. DH is quite oblivious to being tactful whereas I am probably over tactful. I will report back tomorrow with developments. He is on night shift tonight so will probably ponder over it all while driving up to Birmingham Hopefully good sense will prevail!

Is he called Joseph? Are you called Mary?

Now that made me properly laugh! You could have gone one further and asked if the relatives lived in an inn!

Do you know his family well? What do you think their reaction would be? And no you won't find accommodation. You could just say - no way, bad idea.

When you say his family - do you mean his parents or his adult children? :-)

I would hate that happening! It would be rude. It's only an amazing surprise if he lived at the other side of the world and had not seen them for 20 odd years and just been released from hospital or prison or something. Otherwise - people communicate - out of courtesy.

I think you should say to him that it would be a good idea if the surprise was before you got there - ie contact them and say - would you be happy for us to come for Christmas?

Even then - it's a bit presumptious! Presumably they'd have invited him if they wanted him there!

We had new neighbours last year and I had gone round to introduce myself and give them a card, a few days before Christmas.

They turned up on our doorstep on Christmas day, in the middle of Christmas lunch, to chat and give one back. I was not impressed and it probably showed! We were having our Christmas lunch!

Is he called Joseph? Are you called Mary?

Most people these days are horrified by an unexpected visit.

This can’t be true.
I mean nobody does this.
Tbh though if any Gransnetters live in Wales and have a daft relative living in Kent, would disconnect the doorbell on Xmas day and stay in the back room.

If it was my child who'd arrived unexpectedly from overseas I'd be thrilled (although we might be out!).

But parents turning up at a DC's home - no.

But what if your husband’s family have, unknown to you, made arrangements to go out on Christmas day? They might be going to a family member, or a restaurant for their meal? And they might have arranged to stay out overnight? What would you do then? Turn around and drive home again? But even if they're staying at home on Christmas day, can you imagine the stress that 2 unexpected guests for dinner and an overnight stay would cause you if someone did this to you? Sorry OP but if 2 unexpected, and uninvited guests pitched up unannounced on Christmas day at my front, I'd be pretending I was out.

Well, you never know, they might be out.

They might have decided to visit you but you're not in either.

Send him on his own!

Maybe he has seen the advert on tv, I can’t even remember what it is for, where a young male is on the phone to his mum, then she opens the door and he is standing there. Hugs all round. Maybe it might work for just one person to just turn up, but in most circumstances it was be totally unworkable and therefore rude and awkward.

crazyH

This is a joke. This is anew poster, I think 🤔

No, Borrheid is not a new poster.

No. Just no.
Why on earth does your DH think this would be a good idea?
Just tell him to stop being daft.

This is a joke. This is anew poster, I think 🤔

It would be incredibly rude to 'just turn up'

How is this a dilemma exactly instead of a horrible idea?

So, you turn up unannounced with no gifts and expect a Christmas meal and a bed for the night. What could go wrong????🙄

I think he needs to put a lid on the Sherry, daft idea.
You cannot just turn up on any day, never mind on Christmas Day, tell him he can go on his own if he insists.

Just turn up for Christmas?

Is he for real?

😂😂😂