Going off to Boarding school as eight year old girls

A friend of mine was sent to boarding school in the fifties, aged 8. He once told me " You soon learn to hide your feelings when you're lying in bed at night trying not to cry, because you know the other boys will tease you."

I have now watched the film. Not sure what the message is.
Does BS make for more resilience?

When I was a toddler I was in hospital for several weeks with whooping cough. In those days, 1950s, it was considered best to not allow any visiting. It upsets the children. All those tears was the view.
Now that seems inhuman!
Apparently when DM came to take me home I refused to look at her.

Oh dear perhaps I should have therapy now. 😔

Lots of DC have to go into Foster care. There will always be miserable separations but the idea of boarding school is to somehow normalise this separation and even to admire it. That can't be right.

I have a friend who went away to boarding school at 8 years old in the uk. She just regarded it as normal. Personally I think it is dreadful.

I went at the age of 5, but my mother was unwell and could not care for me. I had a cousin there. I was not there for long but went to another at the age of 11, and I loved every minute. Home would have been a nightmare, and I dreaded the holidays.

I shall have a look at this. DS went to boarding school when he was 11, just before we went off on a NATO posting. Leaving him there was the worst thing we’d ever had to do. We sat in the car and cried, and I didn’t stop for days! But, he was a gregarious sporty boy and it suited him. He was very self sufficient and had no qualms about travelling. He went on to have a very good career in the services himself. Then we were faced with doing it again when DD was 11 and DH was offered, as his final posting, Hong Kong. It should have been the icing on the cake for him, but he turned it down and took one in this country instead. She was a very different child to her brother and we knew she would be unhappy. There was an officer that DH worked for whose twin sons were 7 when they went away to school, and a naval officer’s wife with whom I was quite friendly whose son was utterly miserable at his school, but it was needs must.

Is it different though marmight ? it is still severing the family connections, and giving the upbringing in part to a stranger

Why would you have a child to send it away at 8 or any age it must do damage to that child how ever much anyone argues it is good for them
A child’s place is with its family whether they are moving a lot or not I was a service wife, we got divorced, but had we stayed married the children would have come with us wherever we were sent or I would have stayed with them here if it was an inappropriate (troubled area)
I think it’s cruel however much it is disguised as being good for them

I was 11 when I went to BS. Not ideal in the 60’s. Basic and sometimes cruel but it made me more resilient I think. I would never have sent my children away. The youngest was a 5 year old which was downright wrong. Older parents whose London business was more important than their child. I often wonder how she developed as she grew up. She’d be 69 now. I can understand in a way how and why service kids are sent to BS. It gives them some form of stability and boarding is so very different these days 65 years on (in most cases). 😢

My brother went at 9. He hated it but put up with it although he once tried to run away and was found and returned. He wrote his memoirs recently ( he's 70) as a cathartic experience. My Dsis and I wrote to him often but had no idea of how awful it was.
He became a teacher but not in boarding school.
As you say though, it can be a positive experience.
I went at age 15 for the 6th form and liked my school. I made very close friends there and for me it was a chance to escape a rather toxic home life.
Now I shall look at the clip!

I hate the thought of boarding schools at any age but 8 my word they are still babies it is cruel Why give birth to children to then send then away (it’s often bad for the mother too)
I would sooner live in a cave with my child than send them away
I can read as many ‘it was a good decision’ stories as you like I
Still think it’s damaging all round
Why have a house master putting them to bed ?

I knew a guy who had been boarded from very young and he was a lovely chap but very damaged as regards relationships

My father was in the forces and I was given the option of staying in England and going to boarding school. I chose to stay with my family and have never regretted that decision. I think if a child has a particular interest or talent, they would benefit from attending just the one school. However, the age of 8 is too young.

It's cruel! My ex was sent at 7, don't know how his parents could do it. He has been unable to keep a relationship since!

There were a couple of small boarding schools near us when I was young. They took children from very early ages many of whom had parents in the armed forces.

When I went to grammar school we played hockey matches against them and we pestered them to let us see their “dorms”. We had read books about boarding schools when we were younger and thought it was fantastic.

However, they sneaked a few of us in and it was awful, beds separated by curtains and an ancient locker and that was it! They were so envious of us going back to our families and being able to eat what we liked and do what we wanted.

I could never have sent my children away to boarding school.

My husband went at 7 to prep school, he loved it once he got used to it.
He then went on to public school and boarded to 18, he was very happy.
Our youngest boarded from 11, it was his decision.

I do think 8 is far too young though.

Heart rending, my youngest GC is eight, it is still very young.

I think back in the day it was more common for children to go to boarding prep schools often as young as seven.

Also I think that now more is done to help children adjust and these schools are kinder and more child centred.

I remember hearing that some prep schools used not to allow new children to talk on the 'phone to their parents for the first month of their first term and they were made to write home saying how nice it all was and how happy they were even if the opposite was true.

just watching it.. lot of tears.