Going off to Boarding school as eight year old girls

As it was our parents discussed the whole issue with us when the posting came up and gave us the choice as whether we stayed in England and boarded or came with them and risked our education.

That's fine as long as the children are fully able to comprehend what they are being asked. At 5 and 7, we were not really capable of that comprehension. My mother dismisses my sister's resentment of her experiences as she maintains she "asked us" if it was what we wanted. 🙄

That seemed the sensible choice in your case to let the children decide, M0nica, though any upheaval within the family can be very disruptive, even small ones. It must be a dilemna for parents.
(Not forces related, but ... maybe that's why Rishi decided to call an election at the end of the academic year, so the return to school would run more smoothly in all ways for MPs!!?)

escaped

If a forces' child is doing say A Levels, and the father is posted elsewhere, I assume they can still retain their services home for as long as it takes to complete their studies?

You can assume, but in my childhood that did not apply. Several children I knew ended up being 'boarded' with friend's families, while they compketed their education.

In my family, my father finished a posting in Malaya in April, with my sister and I due to do O levels and A levels respectively that summer. The problems my parents would have faced finding a school doing the same board exams and exactly the same syllabus - many subjects, like Engish and History have course options would have been close to insurmountable.

As it was our parents discussed the whole issue with us when the posting came up and gave us the choice as whether we stayed in England and boarded or came with them and risked our education. They would go with whatever decsions we made. We both chose to stay in England at boarding school.

Terrible 🥲

Thank you Allira, especially the differences between the services.

Ignore that! Sorry, I had one eye on the news, terrible wildfires in USA.

M0nica

watermeadow

I was an army child but our parents kept us with them. We went to many schools and our early education certainly suffered. There were no older children around because they were at boarding school back home. My father left the army when I was 10 and my brothers 11 and we all passed the 11+ and caught up.
It’s the parents’ choice, they don’t have to leave their little children at boarding school.

A bit avoiding the issue, the majority of forces children go to boarding school at 11.

I meant to quote Monica

escaped

If a forces' child is doing say A Levels, and the father is posted elsewhere, I assume they can still retain their services home for as long as it takes to complete their studies?

From what I have seen from local Army families, when the regiment gets a posting overseas, the whole family goes. That is because the regiment will be living in service quarters on the same base. Army personnel tend to stay with the same regiment for their career.
A friend whose husband was an officer in Royal Engineers used to say "When we were in the Royal Engineers" as it was a way of life for the whole family.

Whereas with RN personnel, those in married quarters will be living alongside those with husbands (or wives) on different ships or working in the local base. Or some may have bought their own homes as their husband or wife will return to the home port after a deployment.
The children are therefore more likely to attend local schools.

M0nica

watermeadow

I was an army child but our parents kept us with them. We went to many schools and our early education certainly suffered. There were no older children around because they were at boarding school back home. My father left the army when I was 10 and my brothers 11 and we all passed the 11+ and caught up.
It’s the parents’ choice, they don’t have to leave their little children at boarding school.

A bit avoiding the issue, the majority of forces children go to boarding school at 11.

That is a generalisation,though.

Families of Army or RAF personnel are more likely to be able to accompany the serviceman or woman than Royal Naval personnel.
^The Naval Service experiences more family separation than
the Army or RAF.^

Therefore children of Royal Naval personnel are more likely to remain in the UK and children attend local schools.

If a forces' child is doing say A Levels, and the father is posted elsewhere, I assume they can still retain their services home for as long as it takes to complete their studies?

You are correct MOnica I was in Germany at 11 and had to go to boarding school because at that time there were no forces secondary schools accessible.

watermeadow

I was an army child but our parents kept us with them. We went to many schools and our early education certainly suffered. There were no older children around because they were at boarding school back home. My father left the army when I was 10 and my brothers 11 and we all passed the 11+ and caught up.
It’s the parents’ choice, they don’t have to leave their little children at boarding school.

A bit avoiding the issue, the majority of forces children go to boarding school at 11.

I know someone whose parents were missionaries in Africa. In order to devote their lives to their work, they left their children at a boarding school when the youngest was THREE!

NotSpaghetti

I suppose the thread is about boarding school for very/quite young children. The forces thing is only one aspect I'd think. Obviously big if you are in the forces though.

I didn't think the video was about a forces family.
Just an observation.

Apologies.

I was interested, I know nothing of UK forces. I looked the number is only 186,000 out of a population of 68.35million, of course few would know anything of such a small number of people (2/10%).

Dad flew in the war, as did mum's and his brothers, only he lived through. My family don't talk much about the war.

Thank you for explaining.

I was an army child but our parents kept us with them. We went to many schools and our early education certainly suffered. There were no older children around because they were at boarding school back home. My father left the army when I was 10 and my brothers 11 and we all passed the 11+ and caught up.
It’s the parents’ choice, they don’t have to leave their little children at boarding school.

I did think some of the things the teachers or nurse were saying to the homesick child were a bit off:
- that she should try and forget her mum, put her to the back of her mind
- that it would be upsetting for her mum to hear her tears on the phone, so she needed to act brave

The little girl was 8 years old for goodness sake! I'm sorry but there's no way I would have tried to comfort her in that stiff upper lip way.

Greyduster

Allira I was referring to American former service personnel not ours.

Ah, ok. Understood.

It's so interesting to hear things from forces people on this thread.
Our school here in the South West was in a town that was home to many families serving in the Armed Forces, particularly the Royal Marines Commandos. I noticed a change around the late 90s/early noughties when more and more military parents were choosing the day school option, as opposed to the nearby boarding school, which was in effect our competition. I don't know the reason for this, but we certainly saw a big influx where the boarding school saw a decline. And of course, once one military parent chooses the alternative on offer, many others follow because they are a tight knit community.

Allira I was referring to American former service personnel not ours.

Greyduster

What surprised us was how many of them chose to stay in England, close to the base, when they retired. Our friends were part of a large community of retirees. They may have lived off base, in houses they had purchased, but their entire lives still revolved around the base facilities - completely self contained - PX, medical facilities, leisure facilities, a whole range of duty free privileges. It was pretty much a “cradle to grave” existence. They were sitting pretty. Who could blame them? For us, once you retire, apart from occasional reunion dinner if you’re that way inclined, you are parted from the services altogether, and start to build another life.

I didn't find that PX, medical facilities, leisure facilities, a whole range of duty free privileges. It was pretty much a “cradle to grave” existence at all.

Perhaps on overseas deployment but not here in the UK. We registered with a local GP although there was a RN hospital but that got incorporated into a new District hospital.

RN personnel have regular reunions of certain commissions, weekends away but of course, numbers are dwindling.

It seems to be Top Trumps about who knows most about Forces families.

Yes it is going rather off piste now and I’m not helping, so I’ll bow out!😄

What surprised us was how many of them chose to stay in England, close to the base, when they retired. Our friends were part of a large community of retirees. They may have lived off base, in houses they had purchased, but their entire lives still revolved around the base facilities - completely self contained - PX, medical facilities, leisure facilities, a whole range of duty free privileges. It was pretty much a “cradle to grave” existence. They were sitting pretty. Who could blame them? For us, once you retire, apart from occasional reunion dinner if you’re that way inclined, you are parted from the services altogether, and start to build another life.

The background to forcs families has changed radically over the years.

When I was a child, 1940s,50s, we had a huge army, much of it conscription but a significant regular army as well. Families moved with the men from base to base. Every base had a range of furnished housing provided for these families and if demand exceeded supply, then you lived off base, but close to, in what were known as 'hirings' .

Postings were theoretically for three years, but you were lucky if you ever stayed in one place that long. My father's shortest posting was 6 weeks. Thankfully we hadn't yet moved, so did not have to move out of a quarter weeks after we had moved in. Most women did not work and were happy to follow the flag. Children under 11 went to local schools,when stationed in the uK and, usually schools for forces children when overseas.

At 11, if our parents were concerned about us getting a good education with O levels and A levels, they sent us to boarding school, so that we had consistency of education from 11 - 18. There was not any alternative as seen then.

Although I and the forces parted company at 21 when my father retired from the army, we have service friends, so have been aware of the changes that have happened.

It started in the early 1970s when house prices started rising regularly. Up to then army people did not own houses, they saved up through endowment policie and the like so that they had the cash to buy a house when they retired, but rapidly rising prices meant that servoce people started buying property. Buying and selling every time they moved was not practical so the decision was then rent it out, or live in it with the serving member commuting and living in Mess during the week.

Then as you got into the 1980s, more and more servicemen's wives had jobs, quite a number had professions and careers they were following and this meant travelling from base to base, country to country was no longer practical, so more and more forces famiys put down roots and began to lead more stable lives. When this happened there was no need to send children to boarding school and the forces only now subsidise families where it is clear that the family is following the job

But this also has downsides. It puts pressure on marriages, when one member may be working away, may be a long way away snd even coming home every weekend may be difficult. It also puts pressure on the children who have a full time mother and only an occasional father, who misses all lifes big occasions from first steps, first teeth to first degree.

We could of course have an army of single people only, or single people only and those with grown up children, but, I am not sure that is either practical or possible.

I suppose the thread is about boarding school for very/quite young children. The forces thing is only one aspect I'd think. Obviously big if you are in the forces though.

I didn't think the video was about a forces family.
Just an observation.

It seems to be Top Trumps about who knows most about Forces families.
I confess to only knowing about my parents, myself and friends who were Forces families.

I live nowhere near Lakenheath.