Having a social life when you’re hard of hearing.

I agree that lip reading can be a very useful skill but I think it’s one of those things that you have to have a talent for. I attended classes but found it very difficult. Now I have a double whammy as I’m also partially sighted.

I’m trying to be more assertive about needing help but always feel that I’m being a nuisance.

Also, if people suddenly have severe hearing loss in an ear do see your GP of go to AE asap as it may be possible to recover the hearing with a short course of steroids.

I have severe hearing loss and agree with Musicgirl comments above. I did a couple of online lip reading classes. (They are called Speech Reading classes here in Canada.) I was recently with a group of people and as I left the room someone apparently said something to me which I didn't hear. On my return she rudely complained. "Well" I said, "You were addressing my back and you know I'm very deaf and rely on reading your lips".I have learnt to ask people to look at me when talking. I no longer go to noisy coffee shops and noisy restaurants and choose quiet places. I ask for help when I can't hear announcements at airports, stations etc. and find people most very helpful.

I have been hard of hearing for most of my life because of infections and major operations. I think this makes it easier for me in some ways because I have had a lifetime of learning to adapt. I instinctively learned to lip read and this is a very useful skill when background noise becomes too much. I think one bit of advice l would give is to go to lip reading classes if they are available as they can really help. The classes are about more than lip reading skills as they give ideas on different ways of managing hearing loss. As I have grown older and my hearing has deteriorated considerably - I now call myself deaf - I find l am more assertive about helping myself and not putting up with throwaway remarks or snide comments relating to my hearing: “You were not listening.” “No, I didn’t hear you.” “It doesn’t matter.” “Yes it does, or you wouldn’t have tried twice before giving up.” The other thing that is very annoying is that some people think they have to shout in order for you to hear. Speaking too loudly is not the answer - speaking clearly is. Also, please face me. If you mumble into your boots or speak to the side, I will not hear you.

I love my hearing aids as I can listen to the radio directly into my ears. The same when I am phoned on my iPhone.

I often find that people do not like to admit they have aids so avoid asking others to speak up. I often say ‘can you speak up as I can’t hear you’?

I met my lovely GN friend today for coffee, we tried a new cafe and I told her that I would like to go somewhere else next time as I found it too noisy. She said she found it too bright.

Being open and honest is the best way forward I find.

I have to wear two hearing aids and it is so difficult in noisy restaurants and cafes. People with perfect hearing just don't seem to understand how difficult it is. They seem to think raising their voice will help instead of actually facing you and innunciating their words. Strangely, I can hear a telephone conversation perfectly.
I am going to have my hearing retested and hopefully get an upgrade on my present hearing aids.

Franbern

My new NHS Hearing Aids are programmed onto my smartphone and this allows me to 'direct' where I want the sound to come from/be turned off. I have worn hearing aids for some twenty years and this is the first time have had this facility.

So, now when at meetings in noisy pubs, coffee bars, etc. I use this programme and no more noisy machines, muzak, etc.

This sounds great.
I have some very basic NHS hearing aids and rang them today to ask if I would be able to get bluetooth aids on the NHS as I was thinking of buying some. Apparently I can, I have an appointment next month to be assessed.

NotSpaghetti

My father was deaf and he said you must always wear your aids and regularly be prepared to upgrade them.

I'm sure you are already doing this but if not it might be worth checking with your audiologist.

I know he said that it's unfortunate that people don't really understand and make allowances for deafness.

With my mother-in-law we try to go to places ahead of or after the crowd - early or late lunches, early dinners etc and avoid echoing spaces.

Might it be a good idea to go to groups where people speak one at a time - such as a book group?
Or do you play (say) bridge?

I would look at what activity based groups might be suitable.

If you are meeting friends somewhere new I'd phone in advance and ask if they have a quirter area. I'd tell them that someone in your group is hard of hearing. They can't always help but usually they can.
We do this every time we are out with my mother-in-law.

Thinking of you.
Deafness is a bit of a hidden disability it seems to me.

Hard of hearing is a hidden disability and regarded as such within the NHS. The digital aids are a godsend with a smart phone, learn how to use it and also 'how to use your phone as a microphone. You can zoom in and out on your phone as has been described above. Patience as out all takes time to learn, but you will get there. A Roger Pen is also good, see your provider and specialist and to what is available, The NHS is near enough as good as private now. I have had aids for 40 years myself.

I’ve got a perforated ear waited ages for repair op then it got cancelled. I was offered hearing aid to wear until the op. Move on a year have managed well with the aid but now know I need the op back on the waiting list. I retire next year and hope I get it done by then . I’m struggling hearing at work nursery teacher.

My son who has Down Syndrome is classed as severely/moderately deaf, I am fed up of people treating him as stupid! Despite having a learning disability he is well aware of life and knows all the politicians by name including Mr Trump (his words not mine 🤬) He may be deaf but not daft.

I'm also new to hearing aids. The tinny, hissy sound generally means you have either not got them in properly or you aren't wearing them enough - even a break of a couple of days can set you back.

For a couple of years I was telling DH that the folks on our u3a committee (of which I am treasurer) all spoke quietly and now I realise that I was the problem!

I've also not learnt how to use the technological stuff yet. Bluetooth connection to my phone is both an advantage (can hear it ring wherever it is and answer it without it being there) and a disadvantage (no point in phoning it when you've lost it cos the ringing is only heard inside your ears!).

Could we do with a new thread on here entitled "Things I learnt today about my new hearing aids"?

Having my first hearing test next month. NHS. Rather apprehensive after reading all this. Is there a choice re Bluetooth?

An audiologist should be able to adjust volume using her/his screen. If you have Bluetooth you can use your app on a smartphone to make adjustments.

I am becoming increasingly deaf and the hospital have just cancelled my appointment for hearing aids. I sometimes meet a friend for coffee and she always asks me if I have brought my ear trumpet.

.....sorry pressed Post too soon

and has referred me for new hearing aids.

I went to a lunch the other day with 10 others, I just sat there nodding, not really catching anything clearly as everyone was talking over each other. It was a longish table with 5 of us each side and I only caught half of what the ladies either side of me and directly opposite said.

It is a very disabling disability.

I wear hearing aids (6 years) and gave just had my 3 year hearing test courtesy of the NHS.
I mentioned that I find it very difficult to hear clearly when in a group of more than 3 to 4 people and don't get me started on certain accents, no chance - Scottish being the worst to decipher - apologies to any Scots reading this.

She said that your ears become lazy and accustomed to the aids and

kittylester

I think you can get a 'disabled railcard' if you are deaf.

You’re correct*Kitty*. We were pleasantly surprised to discover that a few years ago. It’s cheaper than a normal Railcard - £20, I think - so that’s one bonus.

The second bonus, which we only found out about at the ticket office, is that your companion/escort also receives a reduced fare!

It seems that we have a variety of experiences, perhaps depending on the amount of hearing lost. Like Icandoit I’m very aware of what hard work talking to me can be. I wear my hearing aids from when I get up until I go to bed but no hearing aid can replace the hearing we’ve lost, only help us make the best of what we’ve got left and some of us don’t have much left.

I have Phonak NHS hearing aids which Bluetooth to my phone which is a godsend. I’ve just been looking at the app and couldn’t find any mention of setting the direction but have found another layer of adjustments that I’m going to explore. Meanwhile I’m working on expanding my vocabulary of what I call nod along responses, neutral remarks one can make so that you appear to be following the conversation even if you’re not quite sure what’s being said.

A lot of Android phones won't allow more than adjusting volume by opticon app
I'm interested in the amount of people getting follow up. Mine were fitted 18+ months ago then it was just off you go!

I can understand that Lathyrus3 but honestly it was far too loud and like my brain was being screamed at Since using the Oticon App to adjust the volume it's soo much better and I can comfortably hear now ... well apart from the tinny & the ssssisssy

Thanks NotSpaghetti, me too, the audiologist didn't tell me about the Oticon App but at present I can only change the volume on it, so let's hope they give me the use of the volume control on the actual hearing aids .... and any other uses it gives you ... I'm on probation at the moment

Just to say everything does sound very loud at first because your brain has lost some of its filter. The volume should be set at the level that is normal for most people.
Your brain has become used to a much quieter world. So turning down the volume to a more comfortable level is quite unproductive really. Which is why an audiologist might decide to take control initially.

Blue54 I hope they continue to improve life for you one way and another - and that eventually you get control over them.

My dh has nhs Bluetooth aids which connect to his phone. He is always attached to his phone nowadays, but if I say anything to him he doesn't hear me unless he switches his aids off. I have some deafness myself so do understand but if he is grumpy about my ‘interruption’ it makes me less inclined to speak as it’s such a faff.
It’s can be a bit difficult,

I have similar NHS aids which bluetooth to my phone. I can set them to Noisy Environment, and also volume and direction. It is not perfect and very echoey places still cause some problem, but not so much.