Struggling to drive

Exactly karma.

If as your title says you are struggling to drive you shouldn’t be anywhere near a driving seat learning or not
How old are you MyLo ?

I didn’t realise this is the same lady who was posting about needing multiple help, carers for her many disabilities and illnesses and more money to pay for these things
So this is totally crazy she’s obviously not someone who should be behind a wheel

I m now wondering if these are joke post to rev us all up
I don’t see that they can be real

You said in your other post that you had MULTIPLE complex disabilities, that you needed a personal assistant and had been offered residential care ….and you want to have driving lessons which you don’t pay for ( do you mean a friend or relative or it’s paid for by your allowances ) !!!!
But your opening post says you drive once a fortnight
You are either a total dreamer or a menace who could cause a bad accident
What on earth are you talking about in your other thread you said you d never driven and used taxis

I think this is all made up

I do wonder, BlueBelle. The other thread was rather odd too. I did ask the OP to clarify something, as on here, but clarification wasn’t forthcoming.

I don’t think allegations of fabrication are helpful. Without knowing what OP’s disabilities are, nobody is in a position to say whether she should be allowed to drive or not. My interpretation was that she is just going throught what most learner drivers do for the first few lessons, struggling to get the coordination right - which is why its best to learn with a professional in a dual-control car.

I have a godson with complex physical disabilities which affect both his hands and feet but with a specially adapted steering wheel and foot controls he can and does drive perfectly well. He hasn’t had an accident in the over 20 years he has been driving. Without a car he would find it very difficult to get around and get to his job in a location which public transport doesn’t serve.

If you are struggling to drive - don't !!

Firstly, I’m sorry that I don’t remember any previous post from MyLo about her needs and disabilities. However, this is DD2’s experience - As a wheelchair user, she was able to have driving lessons at 16. It was 25 years ago, but before we were able to book lessons, she had a physical assessment at Newcastle General Hospital.
There was never any question of driving a manual, it was stipulated automatic and we were advised of the adaptations that would be needed - hand controls and a steering wheel ball. She went out for a test drive and did extremely well. However, lessons had to be in an adapted, dual control car (driving school recommended by the Assessor) and I remember they were 2 hours each and cost twice as much as ‘ordinary’ lessons. Her instructor used to meet her from school and she’d drive home - 25 miles.
Thankfully, her Motability car, with the necessary adaptations came a couple of months before her 17th birthday, so DH was able to sit in with her to perfect some manoeuvres. Test passed a few days after her 17th birthday and she then drove herself to and from school after that.

I sold my car several months ago and I have no regrets just more cash.

I should add that I live near a bus stop with a 15 minute service of one bus and a 20 minute service of another. And I am a ten minute walk from the railway station.

I do also take taxis regularly but my finances have still improved as I don't have to worry about paying for petrol, repairs or MOTs.

Silverbrooks

Everybody goes through this phase when first learning to drive which is why it’s important to learn in a car with dual controls with a professional instructor. Controlling the clutch becomes second nature with practice as do hill starts and parallel parking.

You have written elsewhere about your complex disabilities. All the more reason to engage a professional instructor who can assess your needs and advise on whether you need an adapted vehicle.

I agree.

I remember during my first two lessons I kept steering towards the hedgerow. Luckily the instructor corrected it (it was a quiet, wide road). When he asked why, I said I thought it was important to keep the spokes of the steering wheel at a ten to two position. Not on his car, apparently!

crazyH

I just could not get the hang of a manual car.
So took a few (20+) in an automatic. Passed 4th time. 😂
I only drive locally.
I am toying with the idea of selling my car next year and with the proceeds pay for taxis for the next few years. I only do about 2000 miles a year.
Btw I am excellent at reverse parking, just saying……

I learnt to drive in my fifties and found it much easier in an automatic car. After many holidays in America DH decided he preferred an automatic and we have had automatic cars since. Our younger son does a lot of driving every day in his job and he recently changed to an automatic. I passed first time, just as well because I don’t think I could have gone through another test.

Ok let me clarify I understand the confusion.
My complex disabilities are high functioning autism and a condition that causes joint inflammation. I can’t use public transport because I need to be alone or with someone I trust. I get joint pain flares and can’t care for myself. I get fixated on things and then I don’t eat. I need someone to remind me to eat and care for myself. I have also been in risky situations in the past after being taken advantage of. So I need an carer, but all though it’s not as if I have dementia, I was cleared to drive on a medical provisional licence.
I am getting professional driving lessons, but I’m not paying for them. I was given funding and I was also hoping to eventually free up the funds somehow to run a car. I take a lesson once every two weeks because I don’t simply don’t have the energy any more than that.

Thanks for the clarification MyLo. However I'm not sure that your needs trump the evident risks to others (& you) of you driving a car on public roads. Cars kill and maim every day - driving is a huge responsibility that should not be taken lightly.

As you have a driving instructor they should be advising you where you are going wrong. Perhaps you should consider learning in an automatic car as there is no clutch to control. Of course that means if you pass your test you will have to purchase an automatic vehicle. You also will obviously have to learn how to parallel park as I believe this is now part of the driving test.

I have found a good solution to a similar problem. With a Diagnosis of Mild Cognitive Impairment which means that my licence has been revoked and osteoporosis which makes getting on and off Buses difficult.coupled with living in a small village with poor bus service and only a couple of shops, which means I have to go into the town for most shopping, hospital , dentist, optician appointments etc.
However I have a younger friend who is early retired through ill health and only has a small pension but is an excellent driver. So - I remain the owner of my car and pay for insurance, repairs, and fuel if the outing is only for my benefit. Meanwhile, my driver is the "Keeper" of the car and the only insured driver. The insurance has dropped in price because he is younger, has a clean licence and also a driveway to park the car. A car at his disposal has been a big benefit for him, particularly recently when first one then the other of his parents was in hospital miles away. It is a win win situation for both of us.

Thank you for explaining, MyLo. I would suggest that, having a lesson once every two weeks, it would take you a very long time to be ready for a driving test. I wonder if you are really safe to drive if you get fixated on things? For instance could you become fixated on a building, pedestrian or other car and fail to watch the road, road signs , traffic lights and other road users? A car is a lethal weapon. Frankly I doubt that you are safe to drive other than with a qualified instructor. I’m sorry to say that.

I remember you saying that you live on universal credit and disability allowance. Has someone helped you to work out what it would cost you to run a car? You said you couldn’t afford to pay a carer as I recall.

No my finances haven’t been sorted out yet. Im still waiting for someone to help me sort them out so that I can run a car in the future. I could move into a cheaper property. I am also thinking about selling on eBay. I’m also hoping that I won’t be charged for care and can appeal it. I have heard if my over all income is low enough that I don’t have to contribute at all although there’s no specific numbers I can find online.
@barleyfields I’m not sure you understand what fixations are. My fixations are on my interests. And then I get depressed because I wasn’t looking after myself as I was so fixated on my interests.

Well in your first post you said you were told you were staring rather than looking, which I would call being fixated on an object.

If you sell on eBay you will have to be really organised, not only with descriptions of items but also with posting them off very promptly when they sell. Your income would also be taken into account for the purpose of means-tested benefits.

I can only assume this person is jesting. No way be on the road even once a fortnight. Why on earth there is the funding for this I don't know.

Granmarderby10

You are joking MyLo aren’t you?…….at least I really hope you are.

Exactly, please do NOT drive.

Why would I be joking. My needs were considered and I was told that I can drive. I deserve support to do things if I can do them myself. If you say that I can’t for no good reason then you are being ableist. I want to be safe driving which is why I am asking for advice on particular issues.
As I said before I am practicing with a qualified instructor. I started this thread to ask for advice on focusing on my co-ordination

Learning to drive is very demanding and new learners have to drive strictly by the book, lessons repeated and repeated until problems are safely overcome, in most cases under the supervision of a professional instructor. So be prepared to have multiple lessons if you decide to continue. There are no shortcuts. Eventually, as someone said upthread, things do become second nature and co-ordination falls into place, but certainly not at this stage or at the rate of a lesson every couple of weeks. I would think twice about going any further with lessons if you feel very anxious about driving. Better safe than sorry.

I don’t think anyone has said you shouldn’t drive for no good reason. Unfortunately what you have said gives rise to serious concerns about your ability to drive safely. You yourself said you are not sure you should be driving and described your difficulties as ‘really dangerous’. Yes, you deserve support to do things if you can, but many of us have formed the view, based on what you have said, that driving isn’t one of them.

I don’t understand why you are asking on here when you have as you say a very good driving instructor ask him or her they know you and you abilities …we don’t
How old are you ? You seem very naive if you think selling on eBay is a bed of roses you have to take good photographs have an accurate description and be prepared to go to the PO the day or two days after the items sell and you make small amounts of money but your earnings will need to be taken into consideration against your government money so for all that trouble you may have to hand it all over
You only have energy for a lesson once a fortnight ( so an hour a fortnight) how will you have energy to drive ? Please for your safety and everyone’s else on the road stop I really don’t think you should be considering driving

argymargy

Thanks for the clarification MyLo. However I'm not sure that your needs trump the evident risks to others (& you) of you driving a car on public roads. Cars kill and maim every day - driving is a huge responsibility that should not be taken lightly.

Agree with argymargy and other posters.

Please reconsider.

MyL0

Why would I be joking. My needs were considered and I was told that I can drive. I deserve support to do things if I can do them myself. If you say that I can’t for no good reason then you are being ableist. I want to be safe driving which is why I am asking for advice on particular issues.
As I said before I am practicing with a qualified instructor. I started this thread to ask for advice on focusing on my co-ordination

Sorry, but no. The roads have to be safe for all. This is not being ableist or mean.