Grandchild Babysitting

"Barleyfields" I agree, it's pretty sad that they continue to put themselves first. When they are with her, they are good parents. But act more like she is an inconvenience to them than a product of their love for each other. Thank you

I think so. I wish you luck. Without in any way diminishing your own problems with the situation, the one who is really suffering is the grandchild who seems little more than an inconvenience to her parents.

Seems like a difficult "Ultimatum" conversation needs to happen. sadly

He won't tell them this because he wants and likes being a full-time babysitter. BUT I agree with you 100% I myself have 4 children and grandchildren and my children would NEVER ask or expect us to babysit the grandkids like that. I have talked to my kids about this situation just to get their take on it, thinking maybe I am wrong for feeling this way and all 4 said the same thing "Mom, you raised us already and this is our child we do not expect you to raise them as well, only be a grandparent"

The other grandmother even had a talk with her daughter (my stepdaughter) and told her that it's too much and they need to look at changing their schedules and my stepdaughter told her "Well this is the schedule that works best for us, so we aren't going to change it" I don't think they want the responsibility of being a full-time parent.

The stepdaughter and her ‘fiancé’ (they have a six year old child, if they are engaged FGS why not get married or is it just a meaningless word?) are unbelievably selfish if they insist on working every weekend instead of being with their child. They have two days off in the week when she is at school. It’s about time your husband told his daughter that this is wholly unacceptable and she and her partner need to start being proper parents. Until such time as they do so, what choice does he have if the child is to have some degree of stability?

So, my stepdaughter's mother is a schoolteacher, and they switched the granddaughter's school so she is at the same school as her grandmother. So, on Monday, Tuesday & Fridays she has to take her home with her to babysit until the parents get off work in the evening. THIS is all very unfair to her as well. And then on the weekends either we have her from Friday to Sunday or the other grandmother has her from Friday to Sunday. There are even weekends where her other grandmother will make plans and won't have her from Saturday to Sunday, so we have her this is why we literally have her every weekend. This is going to be the end of us, I feel it coming because I am fed up and not being heard or respected. And you are also right that this is not good for our granddaughter, she has no stability and is with her grandparents more than her own parents. They seem to care more about themselves than her or anyone else. I have asked my husband to talk to them about changing their work schedules since they have a child and he has not and seems to refuse to do so.

Thank you so much for all of your comments. The other part of all of this is that he insists that she spend the entire weekend at our house. He has even gone as far as to buy her clothes, pajama's, socks etc. to keep at our house. Both his stepdaughter and her fiance (father of child) work weekends and have Wed. & Thursday's off and neither of them are willing to change this. Anytime they need anything my husband jumps. And just like you "keepingquiet" I feel that he continually choses them over me. I have told him that I love our granddaughter and don't mind having her over for 1 weekend per month, but it's too much to have her every weekend and I would never make arrangements like these without telling him, but he continually does it to me. His daughter's mother has also stressed to him that it's becoming too much for her as well and she has raised her kids and doesn't want to raise her granddaughter. I feel the exact same way, but he apparently does not.

I know how this feels. My 'former' partner's DD used to ask him to jump and he would say 'how high?' When I first met his DD I admired her for seeming to be assertive and not a doormat but it took a few years to realise she was just very spoilt and used to wrapping her dad round her finger.
So, we baby sat often (though not every weekend!) took them on holiday and generally indulged his GKs at every opportunity. In the end his constantly putting them before me caused a rift between us (especially as by that time I had my own GC who lived much further away) and in the end his refusal to compromise and give up being his DD's doormat led to our breaking up. He chose them instead of me. Like many have suggested, I just refused to go and baby sit with him anymore. This led to months of sulking before we eventually parted company. It was all very sad but I could see the writing on the wall. I am glad I didn't stay.

Every weekend is really beyond any grandparent’s ’job description’ .

If you are still working this is too big an ask. So your stepdaughter works every weekend??
Sounds like a pretty inflexible work schedule for a parent, and what about the father of the 6 year old, does he work weekends as well?
This is not fair on the child who is obviously at school all week, when does she spend time with her parents??
Any way you look at this is unfair, on you, on the child, and ultimately on your husband who stands to lose you over this.
Talk robustly to him and insist that he speaks to his daughter and her husband who need to change their work schedules asap.

I agree with you if this isn't being discussed with you .
You both need a break at weekends.
I think that the only way to get through to him is to present him with an ultimatum .
Say that you love your granddaughter but you aren't prepared to care for her every weekend.
If he doesn't see your point nor compromise then don't work at weekends but go out and have fun !

I would say, let your husband go alone, but then of course you have to spend the weekend alone. Not fair; continue to object.

Your husband could go and look after the child on his own couldn’t he..and you go with him just occasionally.
I agree it is not fair on you especially if you work.