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Has retirement turned out as you expected it to

(94 Posts)
lixy Thu 27-Mar-25 14:25:04

I enjoy purposeful pottering and so am enjoying being retired for the most part.
Every morning I wake up and have a moment of pure delight and thankfulness that I don’t have to get up just yet, I certainly don’t miss the exhaustion of teaching!

However I do feel frustrated at times that the demands of other generations of the family, both the very young and the very old, mean that I can’t commit to a regular volunteering role or exercise class. I do both but on an ad hoc basis and that doesn’t really suit my mindset. I guess 30+ years of following a timetable have left their mark.

Mollygo Thu 27-Mar-25 14:21:51

fancythat

Mollygo
DH’s retirement has definitely affected his health.
Worse because he seems resigned to it and wouldn’t do anything about it.

Do you mean he feels worse, now that he has retired?

No, a couple of years ago he retired from bringing up our grandchildren, which kept him fit and active despite arthritis.
Since then the arthritis has worsened- not sure if unwillingness to be active is a cause or effect, but he won’t ask to see a doctor in case they start mentioning operations.

sazz1 Thu 27-Mar-25 14:03:32

We retired to the coast about 100 miles from family. We have so many family and friends visiting and staying overnight so I'm not lonely like I thought I would be. Infact one son and nephew only left yesterday. Neighbours are nice but keep their distance which is how I like it. We help each other if needed, share tools, take in parcels etc. All good here with a local caring GP surgery.

midgey Thu 27-Mar-25 13:41:20

To really enjoy retirement you need two things, spare money and good health! Either of those thing missing can be very tedious not to say downright boring! At least that is what I have found.

Franbern Thu 27-Mar-25 13:17:35

I retired from my paid work with the NHS a few months before my 70th birthday. Took me a further year to fully retire from the voluntary roles I did as Assessor/tutor with a sports governing body/.

I prepared carefully for my retirement. Attended talks on this matter, looked up local interest groups. I was sure it would work out fine.

Took me two years to admit I was not happy. Bored - even though was doing a couple of volunteer things. Met lots of people, but nothing more than just meeting with them at meetings.

Returned to sport governing body in a new role which took quite a lot of time.

Health problems did not help, particularly the ones seriously effecting my mobility

Then nearly ten years after that first retirement I moved 150 miles away from anything and everybody I knew. Hardly settled into new flat in new town when Covid hit. Thank goodness had daughter living in that town, and used to meet up with her and her youngest every day for a walk and chat in the local park or along the beach.
Had joined local u3a just before lockdown and some groups continued on zoom.

As we came out of lockdowns I made a serious attempt at proper retirement, and did not have any expectations as to how it would go this time.

Has been excellent. Still struggled to make close friends, but lots of aquaintances and work on committees keep me happily and well occupied.

I am now thoroughly enjoying myself most of the time.

fancythat Thu 27-Mar-25 12:25:35

Mollygo

DH’s retirement has definitely affected his health. Worse because he seems resigned to it and wouldn’t do anything about it.

Do you mean he feels worse, now that he has retired?

rafichagran Thu 27-Mar-25 11:26:36

Two years retired next month, a few heath problems. I would not want to go back to work.
My time is my own and I have autonomy, I go to my daughters one day a week after School to be with my Grandchild. I breakfast and lunch with friends twice a month. I do the garden, and I shop on my own and call into coffee shops.
I will be honest what I hate is when retirees tell me smugly I am so busy all the time, I am busier than when I was at work. I retired not to be so busy. I add this is only my opinion.
I don't feel guilty being more lazy, watching a series on TV during the day, going on forums, and just reading my kindle.
I am on the whole happier not being at work after 40+ years being in it.

Mollygo Thu 27-Mar-25 11:26:12

DH’s retirement has definitely affected his health. Worse because he seems resigned to it and wouldn’t do anything about it.

Poppyred Thu 27-Mar-25 11:14:11

Will have been retired 4 years this July. Didn’t do anything the first year, just enjoyed not having to get up for work.

Now I volunteer for 3 different organisations. All on an ad hoc basis, just let them know if I’m not available on that day. Loving my life as blessed with good health up to now.

pascal30 Thu 27-Mar-25 11:00:16

retirement has been great.. I did a fulltime art course, joined local political party, have done several retreats and travelled regularly to France.. until recently when my health started to deteriorate and it takes a lot of effort now to go to events... but I still manage one art group and do lots of things on Zoom..

Casdon Thu 27-Mar-25 10:53:18

Yes, it has for me. I impose my own discipline on my time, so I get things done. The only thing I didn’t expect was that other people think I have no commitments, so I’m free to run round doing things for them too now. I’ve swerved joining any committees, as I’ve had enough of the politics, but there is a lot of pressure to get more involved, rather than just volunteering.

Grandmabatty Thu 27-Mar-25 10:40:46

I think I'm busier than I expected to be! I retired early from teaching as I was exhausted. Downsized, moved house and area and became a grandma within the first year. Then covid hit. I look after my dgss two days a week and volunteer at their school six hours a week. In between I paint, meet up with friends and potter about the house and garden. It's a quiet life but generally a pleasant one. I don't have great health and only volunteered when I felt able to.

Cossy Thu 27-Mar-25 10:37:48

Yes and no!

Lots of good stuff, lots of not such good stuff, but despite this we are both enjoying retirement and in two weeks embark on a “bucket list” holiday on Cunard’s QM2 for 7 nights and in July tick off another with a much anticipated first trip to Canada for almost 3 weeks.

Enjoy your retirement, our health has deteriorated too so making the most of holidays whilst we can still manage them and can afford the (exorbitant) travel
Insurance!

henetha Thu 27-Mar-25 10:37:34

Amazing to think that I've been retired for 27 years. The first part was spent travelling a lot with a partner and that was amazing, but then we broke up and I found myself alone.
Absolutely heart-breaking at first, but after recovering and then settling down in the countryside, I am now reasonably content, most of the time.

shysal Thu 27-Mar-25 10:36:55

I still get up at 5am! It is a habit that started as a teenager delivering newspapers. I thought I would have lots of spare time on retirement, so would take a part time job. Turned out that I didn't have time to fit in a job!
Unfortunately, since reaching 70 my health has deteriorated too, which has limited my exercise options (used to do full-on classes every day), and made gardening harder but I still love it.
It is great not being tied to a timetable, doing what I want when I want without being answerable to anyone, as I live alone.

Shinamae Thu 27-Mar-25 10:31:24

I’m 72 still working part time in a high dementia care home, this tops up my old rate state pension and also I do love the job. It’s only 18 hours a week…. I will work as long as I am able…
So sorry to hear your health has deteriorated…💐

Churchview Thu 27-Mar-25 10:27:44

I'm very sorry to hear that your health is not good and do hope it improves so you can enjoy your retirement more.

When I initially retired I retrained in order to do something completely different and after working in that field for several years I have retired properly now.

I can honestly say I loved working but that I am enjoying retirement much, much more. The ability to spend each day as I please makes life feel like a permanent holiday. I do some volunteering which is hard work, but such fun that it's hardly work. Retirement has exceeded my expectations and I hope it continues like this.

fancythat Thu 27-Mar-25 10:25:28

Ha no.
The most turbulent time of our lives.
Rest of our lives went as planned[we are very fortunate].

Now. DH retired. Well semi. Sort of. Gor bored after 18 months. Worked for someone. Work dried up. Worked for someone else. Ditto.
Started a new business 12 months ago. Going well, albeint with a few hiccups.
Got asked to apply for a different job. We considered it carefully, but sticking with his new business for now[he can stop and start any time].
My head is whirring even writing this.
All this has happened in the last 4 years.

So no. Not as expected at all!
it came as a surprise in the first place that he retired.

And then there is the usual story of, should we move nearer to the kids.
Anaswer is, not for now.

Sallywally1 Thu 27-Mar-25 10:18:12

As above. I am still getting used to it and am certainly glad to be out of the snake pit that was work! However I wasn’t expecting my health to deteriorate so much. Nice not to have to get up at six anymore!