Hello, it is I again. This is my dilemma, should I keep offering help or suggestions to my 20 year old granddaughter who is looking for a job but has no car (which I would love to buy for her but I can't afford it as then of course I would also have to help buy my grandson one) so currently she is trying to take a confusing bus route to these job interviews and she can't really understand the times and destinatons etc., (they are confusing), I did suggest she ask the driver of the bus when she gets on or some passengers. We left the convo at that. But now I keep thinking because she has ADD too and she is very reluctant to ask for help from her mother or father, (her mother is not very engaged in my opinion, and her father does work a lot), that I should send her another text and suggest she ask them for help to read the bus schedule at least, or if she is reluctant to ask them herself I could send a text to all of them suggesting they sit down and help her with the bus schedule, but I would also tell her I would not do that unless she wanted me to. *(I personally think they need to make more of an effort to help get her a car so she can get a job), but her mother who has mental issues is just very unengaged in parenting etc, and just says my granddaughter will be alright. But my fear is that while my granddaughter right now is very steady and kind of down to earth and not depressed at all, she does have add and I fear that she will follow in her mother's chronic depressive footsteps if she doesn't succeed at getting a job and does not get the help that might make her successful. Hence, my desire to always help her in someway even if that is maybe interfering in her life.
Sorry, so my question is one: Should I send another text to my granddaughter and ask her the following: if she made it to the two job interviews (she had and was not sure she could get to in time because of that bus schedule) and then suggest that she might want to ask her mom and dad to sit down with her and look over the bus schedule even though she may feel they are too busy, they would definitely help her, or if she wanted I could send a text to both her and them to ask if they could all sit down and help her with it, but I would also assure her I would not send a text to them if she does not want me to and then ask her for her thoughts. Or....should I just stay completely out of the whole situation (I live in Virginia 200miles from them so that is why I text and I can no longer make the trip to see them), because even if she has ADD and even if yes she may get discouraged and end up like her mother, it is not up to me to try and change that, they have to figure it out on their own. Sorry, know this is a confusing text, but I am always just really torn between wanting to help my granddaughter as much as possible on the one hand and wanting to just stay out of things and let their lives fall as they may. What do you all think.
