Funeral celebrant was awful

Direct cremation for me, or burn and return as my DH calls it. Then whoever can do whatever they want wherever they want. Cremations inevitably are a production line.

Oh well I'm not the only one that has had a truly terrible celebrant!!!
We spent ages in the kitchen discussing the things that were important for the celebrant to regale. All sorted we thought.
Haa! Come the funeral, he ignored all the important stuff, raced through the special stuff & then preceded to completely kill any funny anecdotes!
By the end of the ceremony I wanted to ruddy bury him.
Choose your celebrant wisely. 🤔

keepingquiet

This is why I have left instructions for a Requiem Mass and burial. Some cremations are lovely but others are no more than production lines, as this one sounds like.
I am sorry you had such a horrible experience.

I have done the same, the church has after all 2000 years experience of burying the dead respectfully,

I do hope OP that you do complain and by doing so prevent others having a similar disrespectful funeral to sit through.

I also hope you have some pleasant memories of the person whose funeral it was.

My daughter died in her early thirties and we were met with one of the most heartbreaking situations one could imagine - organising our own child's funeral. She was not at all religious and neither are we. At the recommendation of our funeral director, we chose an independent celebrant. She came to our home and spent hours talking to us about our daughter. She then constructed a beautiful, sensitive eulogy and ceremony, incorporating some of our favourite music and poetry, which she delivered at the crematorium. It perfectly summed up our beautiful girl and reflected how very much she meant to her family and friends. Although it was a devastatingly sad occasion, we don't feel there was any better way we could have honoured her. I would be really upset to think that anyone had gone away and criticised what we chose to do.

My friend had a celebrant for her husbands funeral and it was a pleasure to hear her talk about the deceased, it was as if she knew him.
His full life was covered , talking about his time with family friends all said so sincerely with a touch of humour as it was the kind of man my friends husband was. I came away thinking that it was a lovely way to be remembered.
I feel so sad for people who have not had the same experience as I presumed they would all be like that, but I have only ever attended this one.

We havevone in our area who soubss like she is reading a bedtime story instead of a eulogy, her voice and intonation are so childish

I thought the idea of having a celebrant was to cut out the religious monologue.

Thats why we had one at my husbands funral.
She was lovely.

Reading the posts on here makes me consider more and more a direct cremation. My husband is adamant that is what he wants. Unless you are a regular church goer it's always going to be a stranger trying to piece together your life with snippets supplied by the family. With a direct cremation you are free to celebrate your loved one's life however, and with whom, you choose. What do other Gransnetters think??

My Mum died on Friday. I eventually posted a pic on Facebook but not till Monday when everyone important had been informed. Yesterday (Tuesday), I received a message from an ex-colleague asking if she could be our celebrant. I wasn't sure whether to be offended or pleased - we have made arrangements already anyway and the funeral is back up where Mum lived before moving to be near me. I think I felt it was a bit cheeky. What do you people think?

This is so sad to hear. My late husband was a CofE priest and always said it was a privilege to be asked to take a funeral. He was very conscious that although he had taken many many funerals, for the family this was the only one that was important and he celebrated it accordingly. He would be horrified to see this post.

How awful for you.

Ive been to several cremations with celebrants and the whole process is just a production line. Very innapropriate.

At my father's funeral the celebrat (not a spelling mistake!) got his name wrong - several times - I was too upset to correct them!

To whom would an attendee at a funeral complain if they didn't like the celebrant's style? The grieving widow who probably organised the funeral and chose the celebrant?

At the humanist funeral of one of DH's work colleagues, one of the crematorium staff interrupted the eulogy in a loud voice to say they were running late and must finish now!

My DH did the job of the celebrant at his DMs funeral. He didn’t want anyone who didn’t know her to do the job.

That's awful. So disrespectful. At my mother's funeral the lady minister mispronounced her name throughout. It's an unusual scottish one. I couldn't decide whether to intervene or not but didn't want to embarrass her or my family.

That must have been awful, a good celebrant is vital.

We were at a funeral yesterday with a celebrant who knew the deceased and who was quietly and reverently efficient while still making the occasion as friendly as such events can be.

At a previous funeral, with a humanist celebrant, both the person for whom yesterday's funeral was held, and I, were horrified. The celebrant never once looked at the family or engaged with the congregation but stared at the ceiling the whole time. The fact that she was humanist was not the reason for her behaviour, of course.

That sounds dreadful.

When we have attended a funeral at any crematorium near here, we have waited outside until the mourners from the previous funeral have left. There is nowhere inside to wait.

Sometimes the vicar of the deceased's local church will take the service, other times a celebrant and they have always been very good.

This is why I have left instructions for a Requiem Mass and burial. Some cremations are lovely but others are no more than production lines, as this one sounds like.
I am sorry you had such a horrible experience.

My friend’s ex-husband’s son took his own life during Covid. He was 38 and left a 9 year old son.
The female celebrant was so overcome during the service at the Crematorium, she burst into tears and her notes had to be read by the deceased’s brother, who jumped up to take her place.

My daughter used to be a wedding celebrant and she had training.
Interesting job to see what people do and where they have their weddings.

How appalling .
Can you complain?
One of my friends worked for a funeral home for years and was considering becoming a celebrant.
She's intelligent and articulate.
She has financial problems and told me that she couldn't afford to do the course in order to become one.
I went to a huge wedding last week and thought that I'd enjoy being a wedding celebrant .

That's such a shame. As I understand it, anyone can call themselves a celebrant, although there are 'professional associations' for celebrants, whose members have to meet certain standards. We are lucky enough to have a very good local celebrant, who has officiated at several funerals I've attended. Being local, she often knows (or knew) the deceased to a certain extent, and always takes a great deal of time and trouble to prepare a suitable service with the family.

I fully agree. How awful for you. Please do complain. This celebrant can’t be allowed to turn such a sad and serious occasion into little more than a farce.
It won’t make the memory of your friend’s (?) funeral any better but might just stop it happening to others.
I am sorry you weren’t allowed to grieve comfortably and calmly 🌺