Is intolerance getting worse on GN?

Good to know, thanks.

Maremia

Thanks Allira, for your reply upthread.

I wanted to ask a question once and it says you can change your username to do so, but it didn't work for me so presume you have to ask GNHQ.

By then, the problem might have resolved itself.

Oreo

Cumbrianmale56

I have a screen name on here that has absolutely nothing in common with my real name and would never divulge too much personal information as you nevrr know what scammer/ stalker/criminal could be watching.
Regarding opinions, I don't get into out and out rows over politics and don't back any political party in case anyone is wondering where I stand. Also I avoid personal insults and only PM people if they approach me fitst.

Sensible.

Some people reveal a great deal about themselves. I do wonder if it's safe.

Thanks Allira, for your reply upthread.

Cumbrianmale56

I have a screen name on here that has absolutely nothing in common with my real name and would never divulge too much personal information as you nevrr know what scammer/ stalker/criminal could be watching.
Regarding opinions, I don't get into out and out rows over politics and don't back any political party in case anyone is wondering where I stand. Also I avoid personal insults and only PM people if they approach me fitst.

Sensible.

Good idea W2. Assuming it is allowed.

I think that I would be very tempted to copy and paste the Pm onto the public part of GN. At least then the person responsible for stalking would know that she could no longer do it privately. You can always blot out the personal bits.

I've not noticed that personally in a negative way, but im sure it happens. For me, I do think there are posters who have a similar same outlook, a similar same sense of humour, a similar lifestyle - so they naturally gel together on common ground, and perhaps this is reflected in their repartee when they agree with each other.

I have a screen name on here that has absolutely nothing in common with my real name and would never divulge too much personal information as you nevrr know what scammer/ stalker/criminal could be watching.
Regarding opinions, I don't get into out and out rows over politics and don't back any political party in case anyone is wondering where I stand. Also I avoid personal insults and only PM people if they approach me fitst.

You are quite right.

Happened [I reported and GN appeared to sort it] to me.
Started to happen again lately. I was close to reporting again.

The annoying thing is, sometimes other posters assume it is a different poster to the one that is actually causing the problems.

I have seen another poster have a similar problem. With a different poster, I hasten to add.

Changing the subject somewhat, I have now been on GN a while and I have begun to notice that there is a growing tendency for some GNs to routinely disagree with other GNs they have taken a dislike to. It might even have happened to me but I am not sure. I did notice an instance of my posting an opinion and having it totally dissed by a Gransnetter then another GN posting virtually the same thing further down the thread and the Gransnetter agreeing with them.

I have also noticed GNs hounding other GNs as mentioned above.

J52

Claremont

from someone I have never met. have met about 5 GN members in the past, but certainly not that one. And I never shared this information at all. So it did feel like stalking.

I’ve just realised who you are 😊. A bit slow on the uptake, Hello again.

Ah thanks J52, and hello to you. Surprised you didn't realise as I was publicly outed on another thread. Which is fine- just wondering why so many others who have changed names so often are never 'outed'? I do wish I'd never heeded the advice to change names, I am Jura and always will be. Always welcome if ever in the region.

Of course many know where I live and lived and other bits of info. But in this case, the info given in the PM is very personal and was never divulged. The poster whom I don't know, either knew for a long time and chose not to tell, or made enquiries, which really feels like stalking and probalbly meant to unsettle. It worked.

Claremont

kittylester

Surely, as we have meet ups, it's not unusual for someone to know where another person lives.

Of course. But the information put in PM was never shared with that person, and has nothing to do with where I live. I recently posted in the pet Forum, very deliberately, information which made it clear about previous names. This info has never been shared with anyone, let alone the poster whom I have never met. So quite different

Report it to the moderators and let them sort it out.

Maremia

We discourage members from changing their usernames because we want everyone to be able to trust the relationships they build with others on Gransnet. However, you will be able to change your username once for sensitive threads.

Perhaps you have to ask and then ask to change back again.

She might be . If she is, she's keeping her cards closer to her chest than she was in the dream, though.

Doodledog

Yes, of course. I can think of lots of reasons why someone might want to be ‘second level anonymous’. But why would someone else try to out them without good reason? I can’t think of any reason other than to be unkind, if the name-changer is simply asking a personal question.

I do understand that if someone has a track record for offensive posts, disappears, then comes back under a different name and starts again with the offensiveness there is a temptation to let them know that you haven’t been fooled. I’ve made it clear (up front and in public) when that’s been the case before now, rightly or wrongly. But if a poster genuinely wants a fresh start, and isn’t reverting to type, why not let them?

I’m just musing here, but must have had it on my mind overnight as I dreamt that my sister was in disguise and didn’t accept that I knew who she was even when she was talking about our parents 😂.

Just musing, but is sending a personal message outing someone? 🤔

Don't tell your sister your dream!! (What if she's on here? 😯)

I didn't know that, Allira, about a 'temporary' name change being permitted. I have read, yes, that Posters change their names. It does take a while to suss out the rules.

What Claremont is describing sounds a wee bit creepy, to be honest.
Might be worth getting the Admins' view of the communication, just for clarification and re-assurance.

Claremont

from someone I have never met. have met about 5 GN members in the past, but certainly not that one. And I never shared this information at all. So it did feel like stalking.

I’ve just realised who you are 😊. A bit slow on the uptake, Hello again.

Yes, of course. I can think of lots of reasons why someone might want to be ‘second level anonymous’. But why would someone else try to out them without good reason? I can’t think of any reason other than to be unkind, if the name-changer is simply asking a personal question.

I do understand that if someone has a track record for offensive posts, disappears, then comes back under a different name and starts again with the offensiveness there is a temptation to let them know that you haven’t been fooled. I’ve made it clear (up front and in public) when that’s been the case before now, rightly or wrongly. But if a poster genuinely wants a fresh start, and isn’t reverting to type, why not let them?

I’m just musing here, but must have had it on my mind overnight as I dreamt that my sister was in disguise and didn’t accept that I knew who she was even when she was talking about our parents 😂.

Delila

^People might change names for all kinds of reasons^

Yes, and possibly for very good reasons, but I imagine that then it would just be for a one-off, temporary name change. Otherwise declaring a previous name makes sense.

You're supposed to be able to choose a temporary name if you want to ask a personal or sensitive question but it doesn't work.

I had the 💡 moment earlier about the name change being the case here because a poster above me asked, Do those sinister PMs imply that the sender has indentified who you are “in real life?" It was the only alternative I could think of. And I did say I could be wrong.
I've met three other GNetters in the flesh. They might not remember me, as I'm not particularly remarkable (!!), but they would remember where I lived because they came out of their own counties, one over 400 miles away, to visit.

People might change names for all kinds of reasons

Yes, and possibly for very good reasons, but I imagine that then it would just be for a one-off, temporary name change. Otherwise declaring a previous name makes sense.

No, I didn't know! It was up thread that it was a lightbulb moment. So only assuming.
(Never assume anything, I suppose.)

As is assuming maybe if someone is coming back after a suspension when they may have just wanted a break?

People might change names for all kinds of reasons.

But no, it was a pm that outed very personal information about a very personal matter, which sounded threatening, but very carefully done.
Very worrying, but if you’ve confided it to nobody, how did they know?

from someone I have never met. have met about 5 GN members in the past, but certainly not that one. And I never shared this information at all. So it did feel like stalking.