Bully from school

I'd think it best to ignore her.

kittylester

I have had contact with one of the bullies gang. I suspect she took the line of least resistance. But, also, she was very nice about the leader of the gang.

I met one of my bullies when working in the City, she told a colleague how good I was at languages and how jealous she was of me.

End of, as far as I was concerned.

OP (if you're still reading), that should never have happened to you and I'm really sorry it did. Honestly, I'm not sure it would help you to confront that bully. She may well not care, and you could end up even more hurt.

If the Bible is true, there will be complete justice in the end: no-one will get away with anything. And if you believe what the Bible says and come into a trusting relationship with God, he will forgive you for everything you have done wrong (for no one completely keeps God's laws), and will gradually bring you emotional healing. Try the online 321 course.
321.speaklife.org.uk/

This was mainly online bullying apparently.

I was talking about bullying to one of my GCs this evening and they reminded me that, a few years ago, a girl at their school had committed suicide as a result of prolonged and intense bullying by a group of girls. Tragic. I wonder how the bullies felt.

I have had contact with one of the bullies gang. I suspect she took the line of least resistance. But, also, she was very nice about the leader of the gang.

Ignore her she won’t acknowledge any hurt because she doesn’t care about you. It will however hurt her if you ignore her so she sees she is not important to you anymore. Best of luck and so sorry you experienced this.

I was badly bullied at school. I'm now a member of the FB group set up for my year, but I don't engage. There was a reunion recently and I couldn't being myself to go.

A few years ago one of the girls who beat me up contacted me for a meet up as she had moved to my area and turns out she was in an abusive relationship. I didn't contact her. Karma may have had a hand in why I didn't get in touch with her.

JenniferEccles

I sometimes think the word ‘bullying’ is banded about too much these days.

To a certain extent I agree.
However, I think the bullying that goes on now can be more pernicious, because of the means available.
I recall jeers about my name, behaviour in the showers, fear of the journey to and from school or waiting till the bullies had gone down before attempting the multiple flights of stairs between classes among other things.
Nowadays the internet plays an increasing part. The jeers, the threats, the use of photos, can all be delivered online. The digs and hints about what’s on there and the threats of what else can be done are hard to ignore.
And other more recent ways of bullying which I’ve mentioned before, didn’t exist when I was at school.

We take the view that any mentions of bullying need to be investigated and dealt with.
But dealing with a parent whose child A feels bullied by being excluded from games and a parent whose child B is upset because child A keeps bullying her son by harassing him, and both parents feels the other child should be excluded is an example of the day to day bullying accusations that start at primary school.

Do you really need going to people's places who invite bullies ???? Can't you just shrug it off, cancel the invitation and mind your own life and business so many decades on

I would say you don't remember her, " Sorry what is your name? " if she persist, I would say , "Oh yeh I think I remember you, you were a bully if I remember rightly" then turn your back on her and walk away.

JdotJ

I would say in a very loud voice
"Bullied anyone lately"

When they look, I would then continue with
"Only you were SO good at it when you picked on me years ago. Do you remember ?
( I'd then describe in detail what they did)

Oh I'd certainly voice my opinion
You'll never forgive yourself if you don't.

Good Luck

Wow!

She is beneath contempt. I wouldn't bother to speak to her, don't stoop to her standards.

I would say in a very loud voice
"Bullied anyone lately"

When they look, I would then continue with
"Only you were SO good at it when you picked on me years ago. Do you remember ?
( I'd then describe in detail what they did)

Oh I'd certainly voice my opinion
You'll never forgive yourself if you don't.

Good Luck

So what would you class as bullying then?

I agreeJenniferEccles

I sometimes think the word ‘bullying’ is banded about too much these days.

RosieandherMaw

I was in your situation about 10+ years ago when I agreed to go to a school reunion. There would probably have been there twins (girls) who "ran" rival gangs at my primary school where I and perhaps two other girls were the only ones in our class who did not live on a nearby council housing estate.
They made my life a misery , I came to dread playtime and end of school and would make excuses to stay behind to help our teacher, or wait for mum to walk over with the dog. (In those days even primary children were expected to make their own way to and from school.)
Anyway, yes they were both there and greeted me so warmly that all my resentment of 60 years melted away.
I realise that what had felt like bullying was little more than tomboy rough and tumble- they had brothers, while I only one sister, and they "played rough" while I was only allowed to "play nice".
I'm glad I said nothing, and I'm glad I felt 100% able to forgive them.

I suspect the OP has gone, but she would have done well to read this pertinent post by Rosieandhermaw. I suspect this would be the situation years later with many bullies / perceived bullies. They thought of it as a bit of fun (not that that excuses the effects), and many would be astonished to be told their actions had had such consequences as the OP describes.

This all sounds a bit strange if it is real. But, if it is, the best thing would be to go, enjoy yourself, ignore the bully and if she approaches you say something like I’d never have recognised you, have you had plastic surgery, and walk away.

Allira

^So yes, I can wreck your life too.^
!!!

*So yes, it can wreck your life too*

but only if you choose to let it do so.

We cannot control what happens to us in life, but what is entirely in our control is how we respond to it.

The OP's initial statement read more like "This is what I am going to do" rather than "Should I do this? What do GNs think?"

The whole tone of her replies was dismissive at best.

From the OP's point of view it was all a bit pointless, apart from point scoring but it has stimulated a lot of replies and discussion.

I was in your situation about 10+ years ago when I agreed to go to a school reunion. There would probably have been there twins (girls) who "ran" rival gangs at my primary school where I and perhaps two other girls were the only ones in our class who did not live on a nearby council housing estate.
They made my life a misery , I came to dread playtime and end of school and would make excuses to stay behind to help our teacher, or wait for mum to walk over with the dog. (In those days even primary children were expected to make their own way to and from school.)
Anyway, yes they were both there and greeted me so warmly that all my resentment of 60 years melted away.
I realise that what had felt like bullying was little more than tomboy rough and tumble- they had brothers, while I only one sister, and they "played rough" while I was only allowed to "play nice".
I'm glad I said nothing, and I'm glad I felt 100% able to forgive them.

The poster posted AFTER she had already decided how to handle things she just wanted confirmation but she has got different answers to those she expected she knows exactly what she is going to do at the party/ occasion whatever it is very few here agree with her perceived actions but she’s going to have her moment whatever, so I hope it goes well for her perhaps she will come back and tell us …..or perhaps she won’t

MickyT

I'm just making a point ViceVersa,
I never got bullied at school or anywhere else for that matter, neither did my brother, my sons, or my daughter......... So!!

My point is that it's not the victim who is at fault but the bully. Yes, I told my children the same thing, and they did stand up for themselves, but not everyone is able to do that - and sometimes when they do, they're the ones who get into trouble. Bullying leaves lifelong scars on the victims - sometimes both mental and physical - and it's the bullies who need dealt with.

I'm just making a point ViceVersa,
I never got bullied at school or anywhere else for that matter, neither did my brother, my sons, or my daughter......... So!!