Granddaughter wants to wear False eyelashes

I wouldn’t go out without mine once. I even remember using a torch next to the mirror. It was when all the strikes were going on in the early 70’s
I had a pair that touched my eyebrows! Must have looked totally ridiculous. I was 17 so a little older than this young lady and my parents were a long way away.
She can’t do herself much harm and at least that’s one fad out of the way and if they don’t make too much fuss they might win the next battle. As least the tattoo war won’t be along for a few years.

My granddaughter is nearly 15, she went through this stage when she was around 13. Its what they see on social media or their Mum's etc. I took her to Primark, bought some cheap stick on ones , she used them once and decided they were not for her . Then she tried, stick on nails , she didn't get on with those either. Sometimes it's best they find out for themselves, it needn't cost a fortune

Crosstitchfan it’s never been that easy The more you say no to something simple, the more they will do things behind your back It’s about negotiation, if all her friends are using them to say ‘not allowed’ to her, is setting her up to be different and that’s not good either it’s also more likely for them to do
I remember it with my own children and grandchildren I wouldn’t have said no to everything we would talk about it and see if there was room on each side for movement and they have all turned out equally as good as yours I m sure
Negotiation with a teenager is surely teaching them that there is room on each side for movement of course if it’s something dangerous or anti social you put your foot down with a firm no the same if they want to go to a party on school night or go out before doing their homework or smoke etc etc There are somethings that need a direct and firm NO but other things need negotiation and I think ‘make up’ of any kind needs discussion. When and where is suitable is it every day wear or just for going out etc

Thankyou so much for all your responses,
She actually purchased them herself online.
She doesn’t wear them to school but insists on putting them on at the weekend and on holidays.
I will take all your advice on board.
Very helpful to share my concerns with you all.

Slightly concerned where a 12 year old is going and with whom in false eyelashes.

Iagree with Crossstitchfan who says just say NO.

12 is far too young to be wearing false eyelashes. I hate seeing very young girls looking like Lolitas.

I am currently on holiday and there are some chavvy families on the seafront with little girls of 10, 11, 12 walking round with false lashes, pouting lips, tight shorts like underwear etc.

I am not a prude and wore tiny miniskirts, platform shoes etc but I was 16 or 17 not still a child.

Allira

^No wonder so many crimes are committed by youngsters^.

That's rather a stretch, wearing false eyelashes to becoming a criminal.
It's a phase, not to be encouraged, but certainly not showing criminal tendencies!!

Allira, you know me too well! You are right. It was rather a leap. Sometimes I wish I had zipped my mouth up!

How times change.

I devoured the "17" and Rimmel counters in Boots, wore two pairs of Eyelure false eyelashes on my top lashes AND the false "Twiggy" ones on my bottom lashes - but that was when I was 16/17/18.

When I was 12 I was getting excited about going to Girl Guides and anyway, the chances of getting any make up past my parents when I was effectively still a child would have been zero!

I must have been precocious, because I bought my first make up with my pocket money when I was 12. Bright blue eyeshadow, I must have looked a fright. I was 13 I think when I got my first mascara. We weren’t allowed make up at school, but my friends and I used to have sessions in each others houses, and experiment with looks from Jackie. It did me no harm, and it won’t do your granddaughter any either I’m sure.

Having young adolescents in the family is learning which battles are worth fighting and compromising on other smaller annoyances. IMO, 12 year olds love to experiment with make up, silly hair or whatever happens to be in fashion. False eye lashes - maybe yes at the weekend but not on school days etc. Young people need to understand what is appropriate.

I hope none of my grandchildren ever feel the need to pump their lips up, have boob jobs, butt jobs etc. These are much more difficult to rectify.

Do you remember mascara you had to spit on before applying ?

I can’t remember about make up but I do know I turned my school skirt over and over at the waist after leaving home for school and I wouldn’t have been more than 12/13

V3ra

No... but it's very much the fashion at the moment and I don't think it's worth making a song and dance about.
It's not illegal, it's not dangerous, it's unlikely to damage her health in the long-term.
Plenty of worse things she could be doing!

I am a bit like this.
But I dont like it either.

One of my daughters was more into this type of thing too.
I knew I wouldnt be able to stop her completely.
So as others have said, I picked my battles.

NanKate

Do you remember mascara you had to spit on before applying ?

Absolutely this, and as Crosstitchfan says, many children are running rings around parents who are more inclined to be their children’s friend than their parent.

A 12 yr old experimenting at home is one thing, wearing false eyelashes & makeup to school, regardless of what her friends are doing is quite another. If 12 yr olds have all this now, what’s to look forward to when they are older? Such a great pity SM, advertising etc etc is so influential that some 12 yr olds can’t simply enjoy being 12!

Sorry NanKate, I meant to quote ayse.

She purchased them online? With a credit or debit card, presumably. That is slightly worrying to me.
I saw a young girl, about 13 or 14, wearing false eyelashes at a fete this afternoon. Thought she looked ridiculous, but as others have said, it's just a phase.

It’s better than multiple piercings.

Oreo

It’s better than multiple piercings.

Too young for piercings legally.

I think it's a case of Pick Your Battles. The worst that will happen is probably that she will look very silly. Save the bans for things that really matter; drinking, vaping, or really suggestive clothes. A bit of leeway now might make her take more notice about the important stuff.

NanKate

Do you remember mascara you had to spit on before applying ?

I remember when I was about seven, a friend took me to her house. Her very glamorous mum was there, spitting on her mascara brush before rubbing it on the mascara block. I thought it was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen!

Crossstitchfan

Allira

No wonder so many crimes are committed by youngsters.

That's rather a stretch, wearing false eyelashes to becoming a criminal.
It's a phase, not to be encouraged, but certainly not showing criminal tendencies!!

Allira, you know me too well! You are right. It was rather a leap. Sometimes I wish I had zipped my mouth up!

😁

I don't think DGD1, who went through the awful false eyelashes phase, has turned into a criminal. Now she tries to discourage her younger sister from wearing them!

Casdon

I must have been precocious, because I bought my first make up with my pocket money when I was 12. Bright blue eyeshadow, I must have looked a fright. I was 13 I think when I got my first mascara. We weren’t allowed make up at school, but my friends and I used to have sessions in each others houses, and experiment with looks from Jackie. It did me no harm, and it won’t do your granddaughter any either I’m sure.

I favoured electric blue eye shadow (Miners/Minors - can't remember) from Woolies and No 7 Violet mascara from Boots. I had to hide it all from my mum, which is such a shame. My daughter used to like me making her up with Benefit cosmetics when she was young, even though she didn't go out (other than to friends' houses) wearing it. She didn't go 'out out' at 13, and didn't want to - they just like to play at being grown up.

Neither of us wear make up now. I haven't for about 15 years, and even then it was a bit of kohl pencil and a swish of mascara over tinted moisturiser. My daughter never really got into it, and I can't remember the last time I saw her fully 'made up'. Let's not mention the tattoos that do the talking for her 😂.

I think we all have different things we want to project - that might be 'grown-upness' at 13, attractiveness at 20-25, professionalism, respectability, rebellion, quirkiness or whatever thereafter. I don't judge others who are at a different stage from me, and hope I never will.

Elrel

Slightly concerned where a 12 year old is going and with whom in false eyelashes.

To school, out with her friends, to the gym, on the bus, to the shops. Just every day life.
I would imagine my granddaughter wore them when she was invited to Lambeth Palace for a function with the Archbishop Canterbury.
You can buy very fine ones if you have sparse eyelashes, they look good.

I wouldn't like it, but as several others have said, I'd be inclined to pick my battles, and in the grand scheme of things, false eyelashes are not a hill I'd be willing to die on. A blanket 'no' to everything is only more likely to make her want to do things in secret.

Visgir1

Tbh... It's a fad at Senior school hopefully it will be over soon.
It's temporary, it's not doing any harm I take it the School okay with it?
Not worth the stress.

Absolutely correct Visgirl. Two of my g.children (aged 15 and 13) are wearing these and asking for expensive ones as their wish list to the family for their birthdays/xmas, etc. Personally, I think they look horrible on them - but accept that they are not after my good opinion on their looks - much more interested in what the other girls in the school feel about it.
Don't we all, at that sort of age, start to want to improve on nature? My father used to get so annoyed at the chemicals I was using my hair back when I was early-teens (and working in a hair dressers), he told me that all that messing with it would have bald by the time I was 50 years. (Fortunately, he was wrong - at 84, I still have very thick hair that grows like a weed- term used by one of recent hairdressers as how often I need it cut).

I can remember, very foolishly, saying to one of my daughters (late teens) - those silly words 'Whilst you live under my roof you will obey my rules.....' when found cigarettes in her bag. Later that day, she moved herself out and went to stay with a friend!!!!

I thought my children were so good - and as they have got older, and their own children grow into teens and onwards, they have regaled me with so many stories about what they got up to in their teens including truanting from school and hiding in wardrobes when I went upstairs, dumping bales of free papers they got paid to distribute - and using my car during the night for this purpose!!! taking non-school clothes to school and changing on their way there and not attending. etc. etc

I am lucky the all survived their teens, and so did I. We can look back and laugh at my own niaivity, and they all have excellent careers and relationships.

As has been said, pick your fights with your teens carefully - definitely not on something like make up and clothes they wear - they need to be part of their gang!!! If you are concerned about the use of cheap make-up, then help them to save up or get for presents the better quality stuff.