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Shop browsing.

(15 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Sat 13-Sept-25 17:10:27

Friend called unexpectedly to see if I wanted to go browsing at the Range with her. I can't think of anything I'd rather not do on a busy Saturday.
Explained I'd not go but had a coffee and chat in the house for an hour. As she left she said she was sorry I'm not doing so well and hoped I might get our for a drive next week. Now I feel there's something wrong with me for enjoying just being at home.

B9exchange Sat 13-Sept-25 17:42:48

There's nothing wrong in you not wanting to spend time wandering round The Range if that is not your idea of fun. If the offer had been coffee and a chat in a nice cafe, would your reaction have been the same? Getting out is important, or agoraphobia can take hold, but if you are going out otherwise, then no need to worry?

AmberGran Sat 13-Sept-25 18:31:06

If I were you I would be thinking 'Do I really have friends who think that browsing at The Range is having a good time?' 😂

FindingNemo15 Sat 13-Sept-25 18:38:24

I had a friend call at lunch time to drop something off, saying she could not stop as she was starving and needed to get home. She declined my offer of a sandwich.

Not a thought about me being totally on my own and will probably not see another person until Monday when I go to the doctors.

This is not the first time she has refused to come in.

RosieandherMaw Sun 14-Sept-25 06:57:59

There was clearly a perfectly good reason and may well have been last time too. She may be a busy lady with other commitments too. Disappointing for you but I’m sure no slightly intended.
OP has said she likes being at home, so do I, but I can also enjoy “browsing” especially if the friend in question is good company.
Life’s a balance of give and take and not assuming others necessarily intuit your own preferences.
I agree about not letting yourself get too housebound if you can physically get out - agoraphobia can kick in easier than we suspect.
But FindingNemo if you want company you need to be more proactive, not just wait for somebody who has done you a favour (I assume) to guess that you needed company too.

FindingNemo15 Sun 14-Sept-25 07:28:22

RosieandMaw. I can assure you I am trying to be more proactive and my friend knows my situation inside out. In fact I have now come to the conclusion that she is treating me as a last resort. Someone to pick up and put down like a piece of furniture when it suits.

Her DH even calls her a control freak.

M0nica Sun 14-Sept-25 07:39:37

Now and again a trip shop browsing can be quite fun. But usually if I do it it is because I have a purpose. For example, having just moved house and still being in the curtaining and decorating stage, if someone, it would probably be DD, who is in the same stage, might say 'I am going to look round Dunelm this afternoon to see if they have any fabric for living room curtains, do you want to come?' i would probably say yes, and we would have coffee or a light lunch in the cafe while we were there.

Greenfinch Sun 14-Sept-25 07:41:10

I too would hate shop browsing but I would have agreed to go because I don’t like to say no and that is not a good reason. I commend you for choosing not to go.

RosieandherMaw Sun 14-Sept-25 12:18:37

FindingNemo then you need to move on, find somebody else to meet up with or who would enjoy a bit of company.
I know how you feel, I have a similar acquaintance who sees me as her last resort if she is at a loose end at the weekend.
While sympathetic to her needs nevertheless nobody enjoys being the “desperate measure”
I too will see nobody this weekend but view it as a bonus- books to finish, films to watch, sofa and Rosie the dog - what’s not to like?
(But if I let it bother me I could get very depressed so I don’t overthink it)

Norah Sun 14-Sept-25 12:43:04

kircubbin2000 Now I feel there's something wrong with me for enjoying just being at home.

I love our home, I dislike browsing shops, dislike shopping and dislike spending. Nothing wrong with those preferences, in my opinion.

FindingNemo15 Sun 14-Sept-25 12:47:39

Rosie I have tried to make new friends, but it is not easy. A lot of groups are well established and can be quite cliquey.

I spend a lot of time on my own. Evenings and weekends are the worst. I do not have any relatives and am estranged from my DD who never bothered to see me much anyway.

Jaxjacky Sun 14-Sept-25 12:53:02

My friends know me well enough not to ask!
A plant nursery, village fete, coffee or lunch would be a different matter. Browsing shops is not my idea of fun, I shop online predominantly.

JamesandJon33 Sun 14-Sept-25 14:19:26

I never ever go browsing in a shop. I go to buy and if I don’t see what I want I leave. Gosh ! Browsing in Range with all that tat! Rather an antique shop.

Lathyrus3 Sun 14-Sept-25 14:33:45

I’m a sad case.

I would have gone browsing just to spend time with my friend. A bit like I still play board games with various family😬🙄

What a nice friend to change it to coffee and chat🙂

RosieandherMaw Sun 14-Sept-25 14:40:41

I have one friend who is an absolute hoot to go browsing with!
Years ago when we were both still teaching we set off for MK shopping centre one Friday afternoon/evening , went round AlLL the shops we liked, tried on tons of things, had a laugh especially when they didn’t fit, treated ourselves to a glass of wine and came home empty handed but we had had so much fun!
Other friends, not so much. One will try to make me buy something, (the flesh can be weak), and another spends money like there’s no tomorrow which I can’t do, but the first one in my post is very like me in size, taste and likes and dislikes, so if you go browsing, choose your companion carefully!