Kidults in Supermarkets

My own definition of size of library I'm used to - in case anyone hasn't clicked I'm talking about a library a lot bigger than many will be used to:

www.discover.librariesunlimited.org.uk/-/exeterlibrary#/

Glad I don’t live where some of you do ! Can’t say I have come across that sort of behaviour with one exception- aircraft. Something about planes obviously upsets some kids and they in turn upset everyone sitting nearby. Stuck with the little bs for hours often.

Allira

^The child decided to kick off with loads of noise and I gave her a "Look"^

I'm not sure that giving a crying baby a Look would pacify it in the slightest.

Do you have children CariadAgain? Babies cry for many reasons, toddlers have tantrums.

Libraries aren't the silent places they used to be. The Mum probably brought her baby for a group which involves singing, movement etc and may have been embarrassed by her crying baby without a disapproving older woman glaring at them.

Shouldnt think giving A Look to a baby would make any difference.

On the other hand - you could have read my sentence the way I meant it - it was the mother that I looked at and not the baby.

....and nope.....mother and baby were there in the main part of the library and it looked as if she was there for book-choosing too and not an "activity". It was a decent size library (in a city) and not one so small any "activity" would have been anywhere near. I know what the smaller ones are like - because that's all there is where I live now - but I'm used to what a lot here would call a big library. It was my size of library it happened in.

So that's made even clearer the two things you misinterpreted...

Babs03

@butterandjam
Oh that feeble ‘don’t do that’ usually said whilst mum or dad scroll on their phones or
simply don’t check to actually see if their child has actually stopped what they were doing. I also will offer a firm but polite ‘don’t do that dear’ whilst keeping eye contact with the child. At this point negligent parents usually pay attention and pull their child away.

Poor young parents wrong if they are playing with their kids wrong if they dare to look at their phones.

Someone once said to me years ago. “Not everyone is going to like your kids” So true.
But on another slant - they were having a bit of fun. Is it like that every time you go there?
Maybe lighten up.

Allira

^The child decided to kick off with loads of noise and I gave her a "Look"^

I'm not sure that giving a crying baby a Look would pacify it in the slightest.

Do you have children CariadAgain? Babies cry for many reasons, toddlers have tantrums.

Libraries aren't the silent places they used to be. The Mum probably brought her baby for a group which involves singing, movement etc and may have been embarrassed by her crying baby without a disapproving older woman glaring at them.

Terrible if we can't show a bit of support to a young mum. We know nothing if her circumstances and as you say lots of activities in libraries cause noise, you should hear the racket when it'd knit and natter at my local library and thats adults not babies.

The world is so miserable that I can't get upset at kids having fun. As long as the weren't running into people or knocking things over I'd just think how nice that a dad is so engaged with his kids. This sounds like something my late MIL would have been outraged by and I don't want to turn into her.

Then there are the disabled, slow and elderly people, these idiots could knock into or over.

That type really should be banned and fined heavily AND ordered to pay for any damages to stock, shelving, etc.!

I agree that a crying baby is a different matter and often mothers feel panicked by it and don’t know how to pacify the squirming little siren going off in the pram.
I can remember taking my GCs out in the pram and feeling peoples eyes upon me when they squawked.
Badly behaved children and adults are a different matter.

SueinKent 🙂
If my DC had knocked over the boxes, I'd have been mortified and made them pick them up again!

Having had a fretful baby I know you just can't keep them quiet. And libraries are not silent places, they are community hubs. There are quiet areas or rooms for those who want peace.

Allira

I think it's a very unpleasant story.

I quoted the wrong one.🙄

AmberGran

The Christmas before last I watched as two young girls (7-8 years old I would imagine) chased each other around a tower of fake presents in our local Boots. Another older woman looked at me and said 'This won't end well'. She videoed it on her camera until one of the girls got dizzy and fell onto the stack, and all the cardboard boxes fell on the girls. The girls screamed but weren't hurt, just shocked. Mum threw down the make up she was checking out and ran over, screaming at the shop assistants that the tower had fallen on her girls. The manager came over, also a bit shocked, and the video lady told her the girls had knocked it down while running round it. The Mum got very ansi and started screaming at the manager about the dangerous layout. The video lady got her camera out, and showed the manager the video of the girls knocking the tower over and calmly told the Mum that it was time the girls learned that shops are not playgrounds. She then gave her name and number to the manager incase she needed the video as proof. She was so calm and stately she reminded me of my first headmistress in infant school and I ended up in stitches. The Mum meanwhile was vying with the girls for who could make the most noise, obviously still shocked but probably also feeling guilty and now screaming at the girls as well as the manager. I left at that point to get away from the noise so no idea what became of it all.

Sorry I quoted the wrong post. I meant to quote this one.

After a while of screaming and giggling which I heard all the way round the shop, the laughter degenerated into grizzling and crying. I couldn’t help but have a teeny feeling of satisfaction. Am I bad? 😁

I think it's a very unpleasant story.

CariadAgain

It starts all the way down at babyhood. I've not forgotten the time I was in a library trying to choose a book or two for myself and a mother came in with baby in pram. The child decided to kick off with loads of noise and I gave her a "Look" which I'm sure she interpreted correctly as "I know you are supposed to take your child out of here until they keep quiet". She DID darn well understand my look - as she looked guilty. But she just stood there and did nothing and the child kept on and on etc.

I went to a library assistant and asked her to request the mother and baby leave until the baby was quiet and she basically said they didn't dare tell them that - even though the assistants were also well aware the mother should take that baby out.

I can't recall what the ending of that tale is all these years later - though I'm perfectly capable of doing that assistants job for them and telling the woman to leave. So I wouldnt be surprised if that is what I did do....

The parents have to "start on the right foot" from the outset and know when children should not be making noise and deal with them if they are.

Ha! Great story.

These are the parents who will be posting on GN in 15-20 years time complaining because they never see their AC or that the AC take them for granted and treat them like doormats.

When will they ever learn, when will they ever learn.

Ah. Just re-read it.

Even so, I don't think it helped the situation.

Allira

^The child decided to kick off with loads of noise and I gave her a "Look"^

I'm not sure that giving a crying baby a Look would pacify it in the slightest.

Do you have children CariadAgain? Babies cry for many reasons, toddlers have tantrums.

Libraries aren't the silent places they used to be. The Mum probably brought her baby for a group which involves singing, movement etc and may have been embarrassed by her crying baby without a disapproving older woman glaring at them.

It was the mother she gave the look to, not the baby, Allira! I read it like you did at first, but since reading it again more slowly, I realised I had got it wrongl

Sueinkent
My above post does not mean that I approve of what that stupid father was doing - he needs to keep that kind of behaviour for the playground!

The child decided to kick off with loads of noise and I gave her a "Look"

I'm not sure that giving a crying baby a Look would pacify it in the slightest.

Do you have children CariadAgain? Babies cry for many reasons, toddlers have tantrums.

Libraries aren't the silent places they used to be. The Mum probably brought her baby for a group which involves singing, movement etc and may have been embarrassed by her crying baby without a disapproving older woman glaring at them.

Sadgrandma

I was once in a restaurant and a little girl of about four came up to our table, stood next to me and kept talking at me. As much as I like children I really didn’t want to spend my meal entertaining another person’s, rather snotty, child so I tried to ignore her a bit until, to my horror, she sneezed all over my plate! Fortunately I had almost finished my meal but I told the little girl quite sharply to go back to her mummy. The mother then looked at me as if I was the Wicked Witch of the West!

I think some people need to realise, whether they have children or dogs, that other people may not share their fascination with the object of their unconditional love.

I was once in a restaurant and a little girl of about four came up to our table, stood next to me and kept talking at me. As much as I like children I really didn’t want to spend my meal entertaining another person’s, rather snotty, child so I tried to ignore her a bit until, to my horror, she sneezed all over my plate! Fortunately I had almost finished my meal but I told the little girl quite sharply to go back to her mummy. The mother then looked at me as if I was the Wicked Witch of the West!

@butterandjam
Oh that feeble ‘don’t do that’ usually said whilst mum or dad scroll on their phones or
simply don’t check to actually see if their child has actually stopped what they were doing. I also will offer a firm but polite ‘don’t do that dear’ whilst keeping eye contact with the child. At this point negligent parents usually pay attention and pull their child away.

Oreo

Where are the staff to tell this shopper to behave? Nowhere, or keeping their heads down.Nobody challenges anything now so crime and bad behaviour proliferates.

Why leave it to staff? I am from that village where we helping to raise other peoples children. Of all ages.

The other day in smkt a child age 4 -ish was going along a shelf of wrapped bread rolls, deliberately squashing them in turn. Mother told her "no" and "don't do that "twice in that feeble gentle-parenting voice so of course child just ignored her and carried on damaging goods.

I said (in quiet teacher voice) " Do what Mummy told you". She stopped instantly.

It starts all the way down at babyhood. I've not forgotten the time I was in a library trying to choose a book or two for myself and a mother came in with baby in pram. The child decided to kick off with loads of noise and I gave her a "Look" which I'm sure she interpreted correctly as "I know you are supposed to take your child out of here until they keep quiet". She DID darn well understand my look - as she looked guilty. But she just stood there and did nothing and the child kept on and on etc.

I went to a library assistant and asked her to request the mother and baby leave until the baby was quiet and she basically said they didn't dare tell them that - even though the assistants were also well aware the mother should take that baby out.

I can't recall what the ending of that tale is all these years later - though I'm perfectly capable of doing that assistants job for them and telling the woman to leave. So I wouldnt be surprised if that is what I did do....

The parents have to "start on the right foot" from the outset and know when children should not be making noise and deal with them if they are.