Noisy people

Only last week at our weekly meet up in a regular hotel with my brother for coffee. Large dining room, heavy curtains and floor carpeted all sound absorbing materials. Three tables occupied and room quiet. Then 3 groups of 4 or 5 women at tables came in. Within minutes my brother commented that the noise was awful, and he was right. I felt if it had been same numbers of men there would be more of a grumble heard instead of the screeching that was going on. When paying at the bar I asked the waitress if she found the noise a nuisance. She then took out ear protectors and told us management recognise that certain groups even during the day create high noise levels so they provide protection. My husband having lost his hearing was convinced that loud noise in cars, headphones for lengthy periods will result in young folk easily losing their hearing. The loss will be gradual abd they will turn everything up not realising they are going deaf. Boilermakers ears! That's why so many shout when speaking nowadays.

I quite agree about the changes in behaviour in libraries. We like to go into ours to read the paper. We have to go early on the day the knit and natter group of women take it over!!

Regarding restaurants, the lack of music is one reason we like eating in Wetherspoon - that and the lower prices of course.

One of these days you may see me with a black eye!! But here are my selection of things that I use to respond to to much noise. For a start, I do look at the floor in any new cafe I plan to enter. The hard floors with no sort of covering, means that the sounds do resound more. Then I do look to see if there are speakers close to a particular table area and choose somewhere well away from it if possible. Once I am sat down, if the music is loud, I will order coffee or food and follow that by asking " and will you turn the music down please" If they say they are not allowed to, I get up and say very well just cancel my order and leave. If it is the kind of place with a couple of rooms, I will ask if they are able to turn the sound down in one room, although of course often the sound is the same in both rooms. You might enjoy the particular one I remember.

I was travelling to London to sing in a concert. and had booked a seat in the QUIET carriage. I had a walkman in those days and had it on quietly specifically going through my line . The carriage was not very busy and most people were doing their own thing, when this man proceeded to plonk himself down with his computer, use it leaving all the sounds on quite loud with beeps etc etc , and then started to speak loudly on his phone to someone, and mostly of no importance about whereabouts we were on the journey and what they would be doing etc. I put up with it for a time as we can all be caught out by a phone call, but when the voice got louder and no attempt was made to be quiet. I got up , went across and said could you keep your voice down please . This is the quiet carriage and everyone is trying to do their own work. He just shrugged and carried on. I then sat in a seat nearer to him and as he continued to talk at the top of his voice I began to sing in italian from an opera. He stared at me and was silent for a moment. I immediately stopped singing. He began again and so did I . He glared at me and said what do you think you are doing? I replied "working the same as you" He tried once more and then flounced off to another carriage. I returned to my seat quietly and no more was said, until a rather nice elderly lady came past on her was to get off and thanked me !! I hasten to say I have never had to repeat the performance.

I love my hearing aids and love taking them out if things get too noisy.

Les1950, she is possibly hard of hearing and because of that doesn't realise her voice is so loud.
Do you think she can she hear what the others are saying?

Modern restaurants, bars and pubs without curtains/blinds, carpets or with high ceilings and hard wooden floors mean that noise isn't absorbed.

That, combined with a lack of self-awareness and the shouting culture is often the cause of the hullaballoo! (I love that word!)

I was in my favourite local café this week, only small (which probably doesn't help) ordered breakfast, then the two women who were sat at the side of me started yakking yak yak yak, especially one of them, then the said one got out her mobile and started showing the other the music festival she had been to, complete with the music, then three others started talking loud at another table, then there was the music that was playing in the café. which is always good, 60s style.

I was glad to get out the place.I was almost going to leave my breakfast and go. Not sure If I will visit again.

We went to the cinema yesterday to see the new Downton Abbey. Not a lot of people were in there. Two seats were empty beside us and we thought oh great we won’t be squished. No such luck. These two women came in, one was clutching a glass of wine or similar, and she proceeded to yap loudly to her friend. All thought the ads, all through the trailers for new films and the , fortunately, shut up when Downton came on.

It’s true about libraries but this is because they are trying to stay open so diversifying with toddler time and what have you. Trying to appeal to a wider demographic but they don’t visit to get books, just create noise. I don’t know what the answer is. I get some books and go quite quickly.

This is so common now - and I've noticed that if one person, or group at a table start talking loudly, everyone else had to in order to be heard over them. We were walking to our table in an Italian restaurant where a group of about ten ladies were having a meal. The floor is flagstones, and the din was bouncing off the floor and walls to an extent that OH asked if they had a table in the garden. Luckily they did - but we could still hear the high level of conversation even outside.

As a general point I listened on the radio to how bad for our health noise pollution is. Yes there is such a thing but on the whole most people don’t recognise it, with the busy (frantic?) lives they lead and we have created a society that doesn’t value peace and quiet unfortunately.

We have new neighbours with a lot of children. Over the holidays they screamed constantly. If ever they were in real trouble no- one would take any notice. Also very noisy in cafes. There is a group of us who go for coffee, and I am sorry to say one of our group is very loud, but no-one knows how to tell her without upsetting her.

Even for those without hearing aids, as we get older our hearing tends to become poorer, but at the same time our ears become over sensitive to loud noises.

I asked AI why this is and it said -

"Noise can annoy older people more due to natural age-related changes in the brain's ability to filter sounds and the ears' ability to process them, leading to increased sensitivity and difficulty ignoring background noise. Other factors include a decrease in overall tolerance for disruption, potential fatigue, and the emotional toll that constant overstimulation can take, which can lead to stress, anxiety, and a greater desire for quiet.

In my forties, we lived next to a railway line for years and we only ever heard the night train which stopped outside with the engine running. The rest was blotted out like the ticking of a clock.

Recently in a café a young child was screaming and crying. The parents were both on their phones paying no attention to the child. All around them people were looking unconformable. The staff could see this but were powerless to do anything. Several people got up and left, one told the waitress to cancel their order as they simply would not put up with the noise. It seems that some parents these days do not consider it necessary to consider the effect their child's behaviour has on others.

On holiday at the moment and the pool is dominated by a large group of British men throwing a ball to each other and talking/shouting at the tops of their voices, same in the breakfast room. I think they are here to play golf, so I hope they clear off soon.

Me too. We thought we would call fir a coffee in our " big" M&S. They have two restaurants but the one downstairs was closed so everyone used the upstairs one.
Just one look in convinced that it wasn't a good idea, was like a "cattle market"(Derbyshire saying). The noise, so much for a quiet coffee 🥴. We moved on😁

It’s dreadful. I have hearing aids and really only use them at home or in a fairly quiet environment. Cafes, supermarkets, even cinemas are awful. People don’t respect other people. A group of women two rows behind us at the cinema, had a conversation throughout the entire film.

The F word is commonplace in everyday conversation.

I hate it. Glad I’m old!!

I agree, restaurants, cinemas, Cafes, children, even libraries are noisier than they used to be. I realize also that as I'm getting older peace and quiet is so necessary for my well being. The sound of bird song is enough..

You are entitled to ask for music to be turned down:
While there isn't a specific right to have loud music turned down in a restaurant, your rights are protected by disability discrimination legislation, meaning the restaurant must provide "reasonable adjustments" to ensure you can access their services. You have the right to request a quieter table, a change in seating, or for the manager to adjust the music volume to a reasonable level.
Understanding Your Rights
Disability Discrimination: Under the Equality Act 2010, it is unlawful for a business to discriminate against someone with a protected characteristic, which includes a disability like hearing loss.
Reasonable Adjustments: Restaurants are required to make reasonable adjustments to their policies, practices, and the physical environment to ensure disabled customers can access their services.

Dear Jennifer Eccles...Unlike you I find its usually a Man speaking at the top of his voice. We eat out most Sundays at a lovely restaurant/pub, but there always seems to a man believing the world is in awe of him as he conducts his conversation with friends, I have restrain myself from saying "Oh will you please shut-up, we are NOT all interested in what you have to say. Most of the people with him usually look bored to death too. I must admit US men are usually worse than British but not by much.

I would agree with you about the Library. We were there the other day waiting for it to close in order to prepare it for a meeting that evening. Three primary age brothers were there, racing about and shouting as their parents watched fondly. I think they believed, because of all the activities laid out, Lego, construction kits, soft toys and puzzles, that it was some form of children's playground. Not one looked at a book, and that includes the parents.. We are fighting to keep this library open, but sometimes I wonder if it is worth it.

I always find cinemas incredibly loud. I become adjusted to it during the film, but it feels as if it must be at a hearing-damaging level. There must be a reason for it; does anyone know?

I've noticed how loud and screechy children are at my leisure club, both running around in the restaurant area, and screeching in shower cubicles after swimming. It was SO bad the other day in the cubicles I made a loud shhhh sound and they all stopped immediately. If the parents don't tell them to quieten down in public places, it's not unreasonable for people affected by the noise to tell them.

The loud music in places and also nearly every pub has multiple tv's blaring sports of one kind or another. I wonder how much custom that loses them as I would not choose to go there now.
Yes children screaming is another thing that seems to of got worse, three houses near us have youngsters (luckily two lots are grandchildren that go home by late afternoon) who are screeching away from the minute they arrive. Why do the adults let them do it?

I always wonder about the folk who drive around with music booming out of their cars, especially with young children in them. The school run past here is like a disco at times! What damage they must be doing to their hearing.

The other thing I hate is why do restaurants now insist on loud music everywhere? Both my friend and I are hard-of- hearing and it's a nightmare trying to find a place to sit and have a quiet meal/ drink anymore, without your ears being assaulted with loud music. We have both noticed it really ramped up after Covid. I agree with other posters re loud conversations, and children now seem to have no volume control and sorry to say but I really don't remember this level of noise when I was younger. My friend had a theory that children now are louder,as parents are glued to their phones and the child is desperate for attention. Does she have a point?

Esmay, with you on this. Although I will move seats if I sit sonewhere and find the noise too much. I used to like catching conversations but I find people' chats are very boring, lots of clichés and "like" used too much. I must be getting grumpy