Tradesmen

Nope - just a realist. Eyes wide open to living on a planet with overpopulation, pollution, huge income discrepancies, crime and wars/wars/wars.

Not sure what a doctor could/would do to get someone to put on "rose-tinted glasses", rather than viewing things realistically.

I got told by a friend back in my 30's that I was making a huge error in (despite schooldays bullies until they all left at 16) viewing the world through far too "rose-tinted glasses". I remember denying I was viewing people as nicer than they are (it was our mutual employer he was talking about at the time). He was warning me that I was thinking/acting as if they would treat me the way I would treat me (ie nicely and fairly) and that I was wrong. Cue for turning the way I was viewing them on its head - and I got it right after that EVERY single time without fail as to what they would do next - even to the extent that an outside person told me "You're two steps ahead of them ....you can see them coming".

I try to view things and people absolutely dispassionately/realistically these days and, with that, I very often know what's coming next. Looking at people/events through idealistic eyes often saw me get things wrong as to what was coming next.

It's incredibly useful to run two-track thinking through my mind - a. My own b. Most other peoples (ie rather worse than my own).

Yep....one recent thing being I was walking through the town where I live now months before they started Lockdown and planning where I was going to go for walks that vehicles couldnt go (ie police cars). I sorta knew in advance there was going to be a "Covid and Lockdown" scenario and was preparing for it....

I would rather see things and people absolutely clearly and realistically - because that is the best way to know what they are going to do next - and be as prepared as I can for it if there's possible negative impact on me.

Kiwiqueen123

I'm wondering if it's just me but I really dislike having our routine changed because we have decorators etc in. We're having two rooms decorated, kitchen and living room. Lots to clear before they come. They're lovely and we've used them before but just hate the "unsettledness" of it all, My DH has mobility issues so I'll need to do most of the prep, ie take pictures and bits and pieces and store in another room.

Years ago I would have loved it all but seems such a hassle now. Feel free to tell me to pull myself together!

I dislike my routine changed, I'm sorry you're in a hassle.

We prefer diy, my husband and I can do most decorating without others intruding. Suits us. I do understand diy doesn't suit everyone.

CariadAgain -you sound depressed to me. Go and see a dr.

Your response has made me even more concerned for you. How you feel, even though it is absolutely your right to feel it, is not normal, especially as you said even having your looks and health at their best would make no difference. You refer to Earth as the Hell Planet, yet in your post you don’t sound unhappy or depressed. It seems that you just hate living.
I can see there is no point in following this up with you. You have made your mind up and that is that. However, if you were a relative I would ask you to talk to a doctor. It is not normal to feel this way, whether you like it or not. I know you’ll take no notice though, so I will leave you to it.

Puzzled....

...as some people want to live as long as possible (eg I know a woman here who is aiming for 100!)

- others of us don't want to.

It's a case of "each to their own" and, whatever viewpoint we have on this = we try for what we personally want in our personal lives.

I accept that some people want long lives and, in return, expect it to be accepted that some of us don't. I'd view it with sheer horror personally if someone said to me "You can have another 5 years on top of the average - and I'll even sort out your health and looks so that they are okay ...so that you don't have to be concerned that they're worse than they were". I'd still have the fact of another 5 years on Earth (aka the Hell Planet) and even with perfect personal circumstances I'd regard that as hardship personally.

Each to their own. I accept people wanting long lives and, in return, I'm obviously due to have people accepting I do not want a long life. It's a personal decision either way as to what we want. My decision does not affect other peoples decisions - and obviously other peoples decisions do not affect my decision.

It honestly is "Each to their own".

Crossstitchfan

CariadAgain

Allira

Could be much longer!!
😁

Now you're depressing me. The thought of another 10 years on Earth is a nerve-racking one....Longer......nope...nope...nope...

Cariad, How can you say that when so many of us are living with serious illnesses and praying for more time on this earth? I consider that to be a very insensitive comment.

Agreed, Crossstitchfan
It's something many of us can relate to.

CariadAgain

Allira

Could be much longer!!
😁

Now you're depressing me. The thought of another 10 years on Earth is a nerve-racking one....Longer......nope...nope...nope...

Cariad, How can you say that when so many of us are living with serious illnesses and praying for more time on this earth? I consider that to be a very insensitive comment.

Allira

Could be much longer!!
😁

Now you're depressing me. The thought of another 10 years on Earth is a nerve-racking one....Longer......nope...nope...nope...

Also, if you learn about the process and the proper materials for the job, then next time you need a similar job done, you can know better if its done properly.

But yes am hugelyrelieved when they go home and my house is mine again.

I find that living in a small town we either know the parents of the trades people, or they're friends with or went to school with our children 😁

No, it's not the gender thing at all. this summer and autumn I've had about 9 different men and 2 women doing work in and out of the house. All of them were good people, but I assess on the initial visit.

Just one I was very cross with. its the lead lock company - ie police recommended, employ ex police etc. I got a very arrogant man - who turned out to be the owner's son, altho when I needed the locks changed in emergency it was brilliant. top prices - but this one didnt instruct me properly in its use and also screwed in the lock slightly wrong. I fixed it myself eventually and kicked off and got half my money back.

I dont find that arrogance with the women I've employed.

I do chat if they are into it. Yes I leave them alone if thats whats wanted but I do oversee the work whatever it is after letting some in the past get away with it.

One firm came to lay a resin path down the garden. very expensive of course.

The 2 men come to prepare the path, to clear plants away from it especially rooted crouch grass at the sides, which have attractive paving arrived with

a pick axe
a shovel
a broom.

I went right out with my own garden tools and showed the younger one exactly how to clear rooted plants out and how to get plants out of cracks with the proper knives. the older man was really grumpy at first but because I joined in and worked alongside by later in the day was telling me about his kids.

If I don’t feel comfortable with people doing work in my house I wouldn’t employ them, and their sex is irrelevant. For me it’s just about having other people in my space, nothing personal.

I don’t chat, as I know a lot find it distracting and want to be left to finish the job, but Mr D always befriends them which drives me mad. I just want them gone😂.

It depends on me feeling comfy with the person. If I dont, I hate very minute.

I've been lucky recently, but maybe only chosen them if it "feels right" from the start person to person. I've had a string of work people this summer as much needed doing, and I often join in a job if it's within my capabilities and they are the sort who are OK with it.
"Can I have one of your lattes" asked a gardeners' labourer recently. I find chatting about their families to men especially means an easy going and fruitful result, they go the extra mile.

I was glad when our major work was finished last year, though I did miss the busy-ness of it all.

I agree withallira that a house is never finished and count myself lucky that I can pace the work to suit me ( though getting my OH to agree to any kind of change is a ten year battle in itself!)

Our bathroom ceiling collapsed in one half of the room during covid. It is a large room having been converted from a bedroom by previous owners. Because of lock downs we were unable to have it repaired and after clearing away the rubble we just lived with it. The lighting fixture had also been brought down and the toilet flush was also broken. We improvised by having baths by small battery operated novelty lights and pulling the loo flush with string.
The trouble was that we became used to living like this until last year. My DH was chatting to a new neighbour who mentioned that he was a plasterer and he offered to give us a quote. He did a brilliant job replastering the ceiling and repairing and skimming the wall for a total of £300. He also recommended an electrician who fixed and provided a new light fitting, and only wanted a six pack of beer as payment!

I’m ok once the work’s started and I’ve always found the various Trades quite careful and considerate. Recently, both the chimney sweep and carpet cleaner sent texts thanking me for the work, saying it had been a pleasure to do the job.
What I hate is contacting the Trades by whatever means in the first place, explaining what I’m after, then organizing a visit to get a quote and submitting to whatever date they have to offer. Luckily, I’ve amassed a decent set of Trades both before and since DH died to call on, but could really do with a better handy person - last one charged £50 an hour and worked slowly!

I've been reading the thread with an increasing sense of astonishment.

Why "tradesmen" not "tradesmen and tradeswomen"

My decorator, electrician, and Handywoman are all women, and so is one of my two gardeners. Isn't a cleaner a Tradeswoman or Man?

This is 2025 not 1975.

Could be much longer!!
😁

Allira

^If some people don't like the fact for any of us that have finished our houses^

The problem is, CarisdAgain, that houses are never finihed - there's always something else!

Trying to space out the work is quite a good idea to let finances recover again but it means only a couple of years before something else needs doing.

I was just looking at the ensuite this morning and thinking ' will it see us out?

Fingers crossed not. I've swopped the bathroom and kitchen and everything to do with the central heating, done extensive electrical work, replastered and redecorated throughout, swopped front door and back door, added a conservatory, revamped the garden, new floor coverings all round (some a couple of times), done gutters, fascia boards and downpipes. Swopped a garden fence for a wall (I'm West Country and not West Wales - so it was a brick wall). The only thing I didnt do is I didnt swop the internal doors - they are bog-standard painted and I figured they'd do and the windows had all been swopped for doubleglazed before I bought the house (I would have chosen tripleglazed with metal handles - instead of doubleglazed with plastic handles - but I'm leaving them, as they function).

If I'd had my way the house would have been built with a normal roof in the first place (not the concrete tiles ones that are frequent here) - but I'm leaving it and crossing my fingers it lasts a normal amount of time (100 years on this 1970s house)...having read they only have a 50 year or so lifespan. Ditto I'd have normal outside house walls (ie bricks) and not concrete block type walls, rendered and then painted - and I had them repainted and then thought "You can darn well hold out without further attention from me - as you're supposed to be brick imo".

So there's a possibility that the not-normal-to-me roof or the not-normal-to-me outside walls may demand attention at some point and British understatement of the century = I will not be a happy bunny if they do and gritting my teeth about having to deal with it. But I'm hoping both those things-I-hate about the house will "see me out" - as it's only 10 years I estimate to go....so fingers crossed. It's now fairly much a South West England style house done in a sorta Scandinavian taste now - which is what I wanted.

If some people don't like the fact for any of us that have finished our houses

The problem is, CarisdAgain, that houses are never finihed - there's always something else!

Trying to space out the work is quite a good idea to let finances recover again but it means only a couple of years before something else needs doing.

I was just looking at the ensuite this morning and thinking ' will it see us out?

I do not like the disruption either.

Since I retired, if I have an early morning appointment or if I am expecting workmen to came early the next morning that disrupts my routine, I struggle to sleep the night before.

A few months ago, I was out on our driveway still in my kimono dressing gown, supervising the delivery of paving slabs from the building merchant. At the time when the road was busy with parents and grandparents sending their children or grandchildren to the nearby primary school.

I wish I didn’t have builders in, unfortunately my house has movement and these are essential repairs and redecorations.

Two houses ago we had a loft extension put in, which involved a new staircase up another flight and I was told by the builders I would get plenty of notice when they intended to knock out the ceiling to go upwards. Two very young children at the time, one just started school and the other not much more than a toddler. The plenty of notice was along the lines of "what are your plans today luv" me "dropping older son at school then off to supermarket with younger one" "how long will you be?" me "about two hours all told" builder "make it three hours, we're knocking out the ceiling this morning" Returned to a scene reminiscent of what I imagine the blitz might have looked like from within, dust everywhere, so commiserations GG your house sounds like that, only times 10. Decorating not so bad, we had our house done more or less throughout a year or so ago. Our decorator was efficient, quietly got on with it just needed a few gallons of tea a day at regular intervals. Yes it's a bit of a fag removing pictures etc. Hope you're pleased with the finished result OP.

Whew - I can spot some claws come out here!!

It's understandable to be envious if someone has luxury level work done on their home - but just having necessary work done and maybe having to scrape for the money to pay for it = doesn't warrant getting a fit of envy. If it has to be done = it has to be done and many of us will do it if we can find the money somehow.

I didnt complain at other people having a proper home of their own when I was having to live in rented accommodation for a total of 14 years - I just crossed my fingers and hoped a suitable husband for me would come along (ie to share the cost) or I'd find some other way somehow sometime. It's blimmin' ridiculous imo to have to wait until 60 before getting a "forever home" - as I did - but it is what it is and bitching at other people wouldnt have meant I found a way to get it sooner.

.....and I've very little idea of just how much all the work on my house cost. I just had to go ahead and do the first job and then the second job and so on - and then one waits for whenever-it-is that some more money turns up one way or another. I ran out of money several times during the course of this - but it is what it is and there would have been no point in me getting uptight with other people it took so long to get the starter house, followed by years and years after that to get the current one and years to get the work done on it. But needs must if one has bought a tatty, old-fashioned little wreck of a house as I had to/some of us have to.

It does feel like a shame to only have an estimated 10 years out of the (finally finished) forever home...but that's how it is for some people and sometimes people can never find the money to get that house or even to get any house. But there's no point in having a go at others who've managed to do marginally better - just see if they've got any ideas you can copy yourself.

If some people don't like the fact for any of us that have finished our houses - bear in mind how desirable (or otherwise) it would feel to live in a house with a 1970s bathroom complete with 1970s wall fire that looked more than a little suspect and a high bath to have to clamber into, fire hazards, trip hazards, leaks in the roof, and reeking to high heaven of the last owners persistent cigarette smoking and a kitchen that just doesnt "work" for instance (starting with a tatty oil-fired old Rayburn taking up a lot of the space- until it got ripped out).

Entitled!? What are you on about?