Do you smoke?

@jakuss, you will have gathered that I am not a fan of smoking, but how dare someone tell you what to do in your own home. I would be very surprised if the smell of smoke was seeping through the wall of an adjoining house. In this case, it is not the smoker who is behaving in an antisocial manner but the extremely entitled next door neighbours.

Sadgrandma

jakuss
I would imagine that your smoke is somehow going through the wall into their house so, if it is, I can imagine it is probably rather unpleasant for them. However what an awful way to go about dealing with it. Firstly I don’t think they can be very nice people if they have made no effort to introduce themselves to their lonely, elderly neighbour and, secondly, a visit to explain to you face to face what the problem is and to ask you if there is anything you and they could do between you to improve the situation would have been much better and more polite. I can understand why you are upset.

Blimey , is cigarette smoke " seeping through a wall" an actual thing , then ?
My head tells me that Sadgrandma's analysis and peace negotiation suggestion is the right one.
My heart feels your outrage, jakuss.So they're going to tell you which room in your own house you can sit in?
My blood is quietly boiling for you.
Have you got a friend you can talk this over with? People are always banging on about " support" these days but this is a situation where I feel you need it and hope you get it.
Citizen's Advice Bureau ? could they help you with your civic duties / legal rights etc.
Good Luck

I still enjoy a cigarette. I'm 78 and now think "What the heck".

Ziplok

I’ve never smoked. I never wanted to. Perhaps it was something to do with growing up around heavy smokers (Dad, Grandad and 2 brothers). It used to drive my Mum mad, she was constantly opening windows and lighting candles to try to get rid of / disguise the smell. Our sitting room used to look like a blue, foggy haze, every day and the smoke meant redecorating was a regular necessity.

The smoke used to make my eyes water and my throat close up. It certainly didn’t encourage me to want to try it.

Actually, my Dad gave up smoking after my wedding. He just stopped and never smoked again, went cold turkey.

Ironically, it was Mum who ended up with cancer of the throat - I’m convinced being surrounded by cigarette, cigar and pipe smoke all her life played a part in her getting it. She’d never smoked one herself but was a victim of passive smoking I believe.

Yes, my non-smoking grandmother on my dad's side had chronic emphysema for years - it must have been passive smoking for her. I have always had asthma and, as a child, a cold always went to my chest causing infections and bronchitis. My dad stopped smoking in the house when I was eighteen and the colds l caught later were generally straightforward without affecting my chest too much. Passive smoking again. Had my dad, who was the most considerate of men, realised that his smoking was exacerbating the asthma, he would have gone outside to smoke years before. However, passive smoking was not really known about in the seventies.

I didn't say addiction itself was a choice - but every addiction does begin with a choice. I guess not every smoker would describe themselves as an addict - but they chose to light that first cigarette. Similarly, not everyone who drinks alcohol becomes addicted to it - but at some point, they chose to have that first drink.
Food addiction is somewhat different though, as we all need to eat to live. No-one needs to smoke or drink alcohol in order to live.

I also enjoy a cigarette. Smoke about 6 or 7 a day. I am 78 and on my own. So I figure it's a bit late for me to worry about it now.

jakuss
I would imagine that your smoke is somehow going through the wall into their house so, if it is, I can imagine it is probably rather unpleasant for them. However what an awful way to go about dealing with it. Firstly I don’t think they can be very nice people if they have made no effort to introduce themselves to their lonely, elderly neighbour and, secondly, a visit to explain to you face to face what the problem is and to ask you if there is anything you and they could do between you to improve the situation would have been much better and more polite. I can understand why you are upset.

Never smoked.
But I wonder if the several very judgemental comments were made by people who don't drink and are within NHS BMI?
Addiction isn't a choice!
Why otherwise would large corporations spend millions and millions on sponsorship advertising?
Or why, marketing companies moved wholesale from tobacco companies to processed food companies after the smoking bans were started in the West.
Knowing what they do, tobacco companies now target people in less developed countries.
That is the power and ethics of large companies. So if some people's inate willpower cannot beat their psychological tricks, that is hardly the smokers, alcoholics or overweight people's fault.

Oh dear jakuss. I guess the smell is seeping through the adjoining wall.

I can see why they would find it horrid but also why you feel you should be able to do what you want in your own house.

No solution to this one except for them to move on as quickly as they can🙁

I’ve never smoked, my mother and both my sisters did but fortunately the smell makes me gag, I’m glad I never started as I know I’d be one of those who would really struggle to stop, I admire anyone with the will power to give up. The cost would have me in tears how do people afford them

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jakuss I am anti smoking, but their entitlement is of the scale. It really is not their business, please ignore. Honestly for a young couple they should have better things to do.

I grew up around smokers, and sorry to offend, but I think it is a dirty, filthy,disgusting habit. I have never smoked. It makes me feel sick.
I used to work in a place that had a smokers room, it smelt and the ceiling was like brown tar. I used to go out everyday to eat as the thought of it makes me nauseas.
I am not a misery, I like a drink now and again, and make sure that I do not smell of alcohol, unlike smokers.

i was widowed last year after 56 years, of an evening i like to have a glass of wine and a cigarette whilst watching Corrie, I have lived in my home over 20 years, it is a semi and 2 years ago a young couple bought nest door, I have never seen them or really had any contact, i am old they are young, we all keep ourselves to ourselves, 2 days ago they sent me a text to ask if i could smoke in a different room in my house , I was so shocked, how entitled are they, my settee , my television etc are in that room, I am not harming anyone and it relieves the lonliness to have a little smoke, I never play loud music or bang around I am as quiet as a mouse. like i said I was deeply shocked that the younger generation feel they can tell people what to do in their own homes

I smoked through my teens, but as soon as the mortgage appeared I stopped.

It's interesting how many of us here explain our aversion to smoking because we grew up with parents who smoked. I'm in that category, too.
Past research suggested that growing up in a household of smokers made us more likely to start smoking.
I wonder if that is no longer true?

Plevey08

It's an addiction...be a little more understanding and less judgemental. Perhaps she was bored!!

Every addiction begins with a choice...

I’ve never smoked. I never wanted to. Perhaps it was something to do with growing up around heavy smokers (Dad, Grandad and 2 brothers). It used to drive my Mum mad, she was constantly opening windows and lighting candles to try to get rid of / disguise the smell. Our sitting room used to look like a blue, foggy haze, every day and the smoke meant redecorating was a regular necessity.

The smoke used to make my eyes water and my throat close up. It certainly didn’t encourage me to want to try it.

Actually, my Dad gave up smoking after my wedding. He just stopped and never smoked again, went cold turkey.

Ironically, it was Mum who ended up with cancer of the throat - I’m convinced being surrounded by cigarette, cigar and pipe smoke all her life played a part in her getting it. She’d never smoked one herself but was a victim of passive smoking I believe.

I was never a dedicated smoker, but I thought I looked really cool with those long slim menthol cigarettes called St. Moritz. I gave up when I was first pregnant because they made me feel sick, and if I’m walking behind a smoker even now I still gag. I absolutely loathe the smell, and having an acute sense of smell I can smell it on clothes in a nanosecond. It just smells dirty to me.

Because I was never addicted I’m not very sympathetic with those who are! I’ve asked some smokers from my husband’s family how does it make you feel, and none of them could give me an answer. And the cost!!

Did have a few cigarettes, those offered by smokers when in late teens. Mouth tasted disgusting and the smell of hand, hair and clothing was about as bad and lasted for ages. Father and both older brothers smoked, Dad mainly a pipe. Mother and older sister and I never smoked. Very masculine household, sporty and professional footballer yet smokers.
Agree it does become an addiction but one that only requires willpower, no medication. At the price quoted by OP I cannot understand how people can afford the habit.

It's an addiction...be a little more understanding and less judgemental. Perhaps she was bored!!

I remember before the smoking ban in pub, clubs and restaurants.
I used to come home and put all my clothes in the washing.

I gave up myself in the sixties. But never really liked it.
It was a social thing.

My partner is a smoker : unfortunately.
But always goes outside for a smoke.
I wish he would give it up but I’m not going to nag him about it.
That would be a waste of time.

I have never smoked and, as a lifelong asthma sufferer, have never wanted to. My mother never smoked, although her father, my grandpa, smoked both a pipe and cigarettes until he had an operation and the anaesthetic put him off the ìdea of smoking altogether. He went on to mint imperials instead. My dad's side of the family were all heavy smokers, apart from my grandma; so much so that they would hand around the cigarettes like sweets. I remember the fug in a small room, which meant that it was impossible to see the person sitting opposite. Sadly, several family members died earlier than they perhaps would have done because of smoking. My dad died of lung cancer at 77 - he had not smoked indoors for decades but could never quite give up. He was a teenager in the fifties and it was almost a rite of passage to start smoking then, especially young men. No one had any real idea of the dangers or addiction of smoking then. Even in the seventies, when I was a child, most older teenagers and adults seemed to smoke. Many people had a vinyl three piece suite with giant ashtray on a pedestal to complete the look. People were becoming aware of the dangers of smoking to oneself but knowledge of the dangers of passive smoking was still in its infancy. On a final note, I remember my chemistry teacher, who was also the headteacher, showing our class, aged around fourteen, photos of a healthy lung and a smoke blackened lung in order to discourage us from smoking. The irony was that he was practically a chain smoker himself and every time he bent over our work as the smell of stale smoke was horrendous.

Yes I smoke started by taking one out of father's packet at 14. I used to smoke very heavy up to 40 a day. Now I'm only smoking 15 or 16.
Yes it's killing me as I have COPD. Every cold is a chest infection with antibiotics and steroids. Then stomach problems for a few weeks after.
I've had a clear X-ray every year so no cancer yet.
I can't give up but have tried a few times. It's too late really as the damage is already done. Once you have COPD it will progress regardless of whether you give up or not.
I don't smoke in the house anymore so the rooms don't smell. I do drink alcohol very rarely maybe once or twice a month. I made sure I would never be an alcoholic as I had a violent alcoholic stepmother.
Lots of very judgemental people on here sadly.

I stopped over 50 years ago, but when my Son was in junior school he made me an ashtray in pottery. I've often wondered how he knew.