Behaviour in the Doctor's Waiting Room

Years ago I was in a hospital waiting room where nurses came out calling patients by name.
One kept returning because the person she was calling didn't respond.
In the end she went up to a young lady and asked if her name was.... whatever the name was. It was a foreign 'sounding' name.
The young lady was very put out and asked the nurse why she assumed it was her?
The nurse couldn't answer and went away, realising she had offended the young lady. This young lady was black, and I have never forgotten her stance in challenging the nurse's assumption that the patient with the foreign name must be her.
I also have a surname that has overseas origins. I would also take exception to an assumtion being made that I couldn't speak English or would have an 'accent.'
Despite having a foreign name the nurse in the waiting room didn't assume it was me. Why? Because I'm white.
It is amazing what effects even seemingly small assumptions can have.

I think groups of any age can be loud, Allira
That's just what happens.

Caleo

I think it's often that very expensive stick -down stuff called Dale something.

Do you mean Karndean?

Caleo

I did realise it, Maremia.

I sought sociological ideas not personal comments. I know better now than to repeat any similar experiment at Gransnet. Petra 's is the most sociologically -able response so far.

Oh, are we an experiment?

Poppyred "We are all walking on eggshells in our own country". It is their country as well - and thank goodness for the foreign workers, especially the doctors, nurses and carers, who live and work here in very stressful circumstances - without them we would be in more of a mess than we already are.

caleo I assume you did not intend to be offensive - occasionally a doctor has a strong accent, and the same issue could arise with a strong regional accent or dialect but a name would not indicate it. But your comment was unnecessary and could be perceived as racist so I can understand your son's embarrassment.

petra Someone should gently tell this lady that "darkie" is a hurtful and offensive term. She probably meant no harm but your comment about the "thought police" says a lot more about you.

Being widowed when I was 45 I and looked after my parents both had one deaf ear ,mom had tinnitus so couldn't have an hearing aid for that ear . My dad did have a hearing aid and my mother in law had 2 hearing aids. Both my dad and mother in law didn't wear the aids at home both saying they didn't need them and it would wear out the batteries. Was ok with my dad but I had to shout so my mother in law could hear. After they all died and someone days never spoke to anyone . So didn't realise I spoke loudly when out until my daughter told me mom why are you shouting .

Since moving here 6 years ago I go out more member of various groups so I no longer shout . But have lost some hearing in my left ear but can't have a hearing aid . I had jaundice in 2017 left me hearing my heart beat in my left ear . A hearing aid would only make it louder.

If people talk loud you don't know what their circumstances are if they live alone ,are deaf but wouldn't have hearing aids, or live with a deaf person who won't wear hearing aids. Plus some people just talk loudly it's how they are .

Should say my surname is not foreign but it's not spelt the way it normally is so I get called all things but as long as they shout out my forename I know it's me .

My cardiologist I call him Dr then his forename as I can't pronounce his surname,my neurologist's registrar I call Dr shorten forename as I can't pronounce it or his surname neither of them mind . Plus I can get stuttery, and my words get slurry at times or I can't get the words out or they come out wrong . I do have to get people to repeat information doesn't matter there nationality or how perfect their English is as due to my neurological condition I don't always take in information straight away. And have to write things down or ask the to because my hands shake and my writing is minute and can't always read what I have written 😂

fancyflowers

Caleo

I think it's often that very expensive stick -down stuff called Dale something.

Do you mean Karndean?

Exactly, Fancyflowers. Dale and Dean are the same sort of terrain to me , hence my confusion. I wonder if the waiting room is floored with Karndean. I bet this is not a suitable question to ask a receptionist!

Medical dccor is fascinating.

Allira

Caleo

I did realise it, Maremia.

I sought sociological ideas not personal comments. I know better now than to repeat any similar experiment at Gransnet. Petra 's is the most sociologically -able response so far.

Oh, are we an experiment?

My hope is that I will find others with interest in sociology , history, and so forth on Gnet, So yes, in a way Gnet is an experiment for me.

Perhaps beginning a thread with anecdotes might not be the best way to start off an objective discussion?

Just a thought.

keepingquiet

Years ago I was in a hospital waiting room where nurses came out calling patients by name.
One kept returning because the person she was calling didn't respond.
In the end she went up to a young lady and asked if her name was.... whatever the name was. It was a foreign 'sounding' name.
The young lady was very put out and asked the nurse why she assumed it was her?
The nurse couldn't answer and went away, realising she had offended the young lady. This young lady was black, and I have never forgotten her stance in challenging the nurse's assumption that the patient with the foreign name must be her.
I also have a surname that has overseas origins. I would also take exception to an assumtion being made that I couldn't speak English or would have an 'accent.'
Despite having a foreign name the nurse in the waiting room didn't assume it was me. Why? Because I'm white.
It is amazing what effects even seemingly small assumptions can have.

The young lady was so offended. I guess she must have been very resentful of racial stereotyping

I could see her point and it was nothing to do with racial stereotyping...just people making assumtions based on their own inbuilt bias.

If she had said oh no it's a very tall doctor I'm very glad you are with me to see the doctor would that have been a problem is it unacceptable to say someone is small tall or has freckles But someone being foreign that's really tricky !

I have a friend who is English and lives in another EU country, we communicate regularly by phone and email. She very often describes ethnic minorities in, what I consider to be, racist terms. When I pointed out that such terms are not acceptable these days and that she could be classed as being racist, she became very upset and said that she is often called by racist names and is discriminated against where she lives, as if if that somehow made it better! Frankly I feel she should know better then.

'Another EU country?' England isn't in the EU and hasn't been for some time, and even then it was the UK.

I agree you were right for calling it out though- I have the same problem with some overseas relatives.

keepingquiet

'Another EU country?' England isn't in the EU and hasn't been for some time, and even then it was the UK.

Whoops, of course I knew that. Slip of a brain cell!

I would stress though that my friend is ‘English’ rather than Scottish, Welsh or Irish!

I was in the doctors waiting room today chatting to someone about hospital waiting lists and her husband said ‘ of course, if you get a dinghy and come here by boat you”ll be operated on straight away’. This just seems to be a common perception and I bet he is a Reform voter. I didn’t respond to his comment but I felt very uncomfortable.

My hope is that I will find others with interest in sociology , history, and so forth on Gnet

I’m afraid I can’t see the relevance of OP’s anecdote to an objective discussion whether of Sociology or History.
What was it to do with either?

Allira

Perhaps beginning a thread with anecdotes might not be the best way to start off an objective discussion?

Just a thought.

I did think of that. Gnet's usual style is anecdotal so I chose an anecdote.

RosieandherMaw

^My hope is that I will find others with interest in sociology , history, and so forth on Gnet^

I’m afraid I can’t see the relevance of OP’s anecdote to an objective discussion whether of Sociology or History.
What was it to do with either?

Rosie, if a poster's interest is academic so be it. If her interest is personal and anecdotal so ne it. Read a post and reply to it any way you like.

MayBee70

I was in the doctors waiting room today chatting to someone about hospital waiting lists and her husband said ‘ of course, if you get a dinghy and come here by boat you”ll be operated on straight away’. This just seems to be a common perception and I bet he is a Reform voter. I didn’t respond to his comment but I felt very uncomfortable.

Did he have the Daily Mail on his knee? He sounds fun though and good for teasing.

It’s the sort of comment that I used to hear in the gym and when I worked at a surgery. Always comes from men of a certain age ( I started going to the gym in the evening when younger people went). They just throw it into conversation assuming that everyone will agree with them. I wonder if he realised that the doctor he was about to see ( who I’d never met before and was lovely) was ‘ a furriner’.

My daughter tells me off for talking too loud, I'm a bit deaf...I think my kids all whisper...an d as for the tv, it has sound problems.

I am like you Caleo with hearing pro
blems,the medic I saw not only had a fast Indian accent but she was wearing a mask....I had to keep saying pardon constantly. I also think if we cannot understand them can they understand what we are trying to say??