Behaviour in the Doctor's Waiting Room

Allira

Were you anxious, Caleo?

Sometimes we talk at inappropriate times when we're anxious.

Yes, Allira, I was. Thanks for your understanding. And when I am anxious I over-think . My son is more intuitive than I , which is why he knew intuitively to not chat.

You say you are very deaf and probably don't realise how loudly you speak. My DH is the same.
It would have been better not to comment on the foreign sounding name.
My DH uses a free app called live transcribe which tells him immediately what the doctor is saying. Being deaf is not easy.

I can, however, sympathise because I phoned my surgery today to make an appointment and I did have to ask the person I spoke to to repeat themselves several times as they had a foreign accent and I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying and I didn’t want to make a mistake over the time and place of the appointment. It’s the same when speaking to call centres sometimes; I try to be as pleasant as possible but really struggle to understand them. It doesn’t take much eg just a bit of background noise to stop me understanding what someone is saying. On the other hand I used to overhear some pretty racist comments in the waiting room when I worked at a surgery and I used to have to go into another room for a while because the comments were so unpleasant.

Sorry, that was to Maybee

What was he saying? 😲
😁

I'm with those who say your son wanted you to keep your voice down - probably because your comment could have been interpreted as racist, even if that wasn't how it was meant.

I was at a sports event recently and must admit to earwigging a conversation next to me. But my partner, who was also listening, started talking to me about the other conversation oblivious to the fact that if I could hear their conversation they could hear ours, too. I just gave him ‘a look’ and walked away. I was so embarrassed.

Sadgrandma

lemsip keep your voice down is what he meant!

Saying ‘shut up’ was rather rude though!

Why not ask your son why he did that, was it because you were talking too loudly or because your comment might have been taken as rascist. Say you would rather know to save you from embarrassing him again.

Saying ‘shut up’ was rather rude though!

He didn't actually say that, it was to the effect "Shut up!"

(If anybody here is interested in the sociology of it)

ChatGPT
In both lifts and waiting rooms, people perform what Goffman called civil inattention — a ritual acknowledgment of others (“I see you, I’m not a threat”) followed by mutual withdrawal of attention.

It’s a micro-moral behaviour: it protects everyone’s dignity and privacy in close proximity without conversation.

In lifts it’s brief and spatially enforced; in GP waiting rooms it’s prolonged but psychologically sensitive — which strengthens the impulse to maintain silence.

Goffman

lemsip keep your voice down is what he meant!

Saying ‘shut up’ was rather rude though!

Why not ask your son why he did that, was it because you were talking too loudly or because your comment might have been taken as rascist. Say you would rather know to save you from embarrassing him again.

I’d have been with your son, someone’s name doesn’t indicate their ‘foreigners’ and most people, particularly professionals, are taught to respond appropriately to those who are hard of hearing.

Were you anxious, Caleo?

Sometimes we talk at inappropriate times when we're anxious.

DH is a bit deaf and speaks rather loudly too.

caleo
Did you actually say im glad you’re here because the doctor has a foreign name if that’s a yes? there are lots of people around now who would interpret that as a racist remark as in ooh, is a foreigner, I don’t want to be on my own with him
I know this sounds ludicrous, which it is but this is the world we are living in.
It’s the equivalent of Reds under the beds in the USA in the 50s.
I take some neighbours to a gentle keep fit class.
One of them is the kindest person you could meet but she used the word darky to describe an African gentleman in the class.
Fortunately this was after we had left.
If the thought police had heard her I dread to think what they would have made of it.

My dad was very embarrassing too…….and as his dementia advanced he became a little lewd at times. I spent many an appointment with him apologising to medical staff, receptionists and other patients, some of who were quite intolerant 🙄 ………..hope they never have to experience such a situation

My mother was very embarrassing, I dreaded going out in public with her.

She of course had no idea.

Caleo

Yes Lemsip, but why? That is what interests me. Sociologically.

I think there are places for chat and places where it's not really appropriate.

Bon Marche if anyone interested.

Allira

No-one says very much at all in our GP's waiting room.

You have a point there Babs. I do dress with care and try to be clean and decent . I remembered to put in my false teeth and was wearing a modest Bretton stripe dress well below my knees.

Allira, I think all that Caleo meant by 'foreign name' was that she was worried about the possibility of an accent. Being deaf is a nightmare when confronted with an accent one isn't used to. I know from experience. I have an idea Caleo is over 90.

Didn’t you ask him to explain his rather rude comment ?

I think it's often that very expensive stick -down stuff called Dale something.

Yes Lemsip, but why? That is what interests me. Sociologically.

Today the waiting room was full many mothers with children who I suppose were waiting for jabs.

I would have thought an ancient lady making a harmless remark in an unduly loud voice would be funny haha , if anything.

'*Can anyone suggest what that was all about* I'm sure you know what that was all about! keep your voice down is what he meant!