Why is it always me making the invites?

I m the arranger in a lot of cases. I have a very dear friend who I like a lot but she never suggests anything or even a phone call I do carry on because we get on so well when we do meet but she rarely ( if ever) rings or messaged me to say when shall we have a coffee/ chat /walk She’s also very bad at answering texts and I once left it to see and I caved in after a month and rang her and said are you ok as you haven’t answered any texts and she was ‘oh gosh havent I ?’
Its so annoying but we get on so well and she always seems happy when I do suggest things

I’ve stood back a little just lately as i always seem to be the one arranging meet ups and ask do they want to see me but actually realised that some people are organisers and others wait to be asked. I guess I am an organiser 😂

I have a (now ex) friend who rarely made contact but was furious that she hadn't been made aware of an upcoming get-together of university friends.
When I got in touch to say I was sorry she'd been upset and suggested meeting for lunch, I heard nothing back. Nada. I'm obviously not her favourite person. But aren't people odd sometimes?
As a general rule, I do try to keep in touch with people and like to think I have friends and contacts from all my life stages.

I hate having people come to my house. It's embarrassing because my newish neighbour has had me in 3 times and I enjoy going and have twice been to her friends house.
I did make the effort in the Spring and had them both here but it stressed me so much getting ready as I am untidy and disorganised and they both have homes with no papers, plants or personal stuff.
I'm going to have to do it again soon. They both enjoyed it last time and I thought they'd never go.

As for arranging outings I either think people will be busy and not want to go or on the other hand I might not feel well on the day and will have to cancel.
Again I will enjoy it once I do go.

I have one friend like that. She makes little digs that I haven't visited for ages, but I can't remember when she ever darkened my door! I love her, but wish she would make more of an effort.

It’s horrible to be ghosted StripeyGran isn’t it? It happened to me once, 15 years ago. It hurt like hell and I ruminated on it for weeks until another friend hit the nail on the head for me … “you have to face up to the fact that the friendship meant more to you than it did to her”.

Lanced the boil and I never gave it a thought afterwards.

I am guilty of always being on the point of ringing someone, but always putting it off. then they ring/email me.

Then doing COVID, I was very slow about ringing a friend I had been due to lunch with the day the lock down started. I kept putting it off and she did not ring me. This went on for a year, to be fair, DD was critcally ill then DH hada heart attack,

Then I got a phone call that she had died suddenly, although she had been unwell for some time. I was devastated. Now, I do not worry whether people contact me or not. I make contact with them, Yes, of course i am not perfect and some do delay, but I get round to it far faster than I did.

People just fall into these roles sometimes.

I met up with two old friends today and one of them always does the organising, but I'm happy for her to do that.

I'm just happy to let people do it I suppose...

It was like that with myself and a close circle of friends, I was the one always organising get togethers, finding a restaurant that suited us all then booking a table etc., I was also the one collecting money pooled for a bouquet of flowers when one of us was going through a hard time.
Fast forward to my DH having a stroke and bleeds on the brain so am out of the loop. No bouquet of flowers, not even a card, very little in the way of calls or texts.
Yet others, whom I didn’t think I was as close to, have come forward and been really helpful.
Fact is if you are the one doing all the running it just shows that they don’t value your friendship enough to return the favour.

A familiar theme. I had a very good friend, we practically lived in each others pockets. I stopped ringing and never heard from her again.
Another one after 30 years ghosted me.

I have developed a very different attitude to friendships now.