A simple Christmas thread, alone or with a partners - whether by choice, or necessity

If we dont want to say anything, we can post a short poem or short bit of music.

Could you maybe ask to bring something very special cooked by you/made by you that brings late DH through the door as to were to join? Or just something only gran can do?

Smileless we need a sort of more concise title 🙂

^Late DH was like Father Christmas himself, open door to the world and loved every minute^😢”.
Mine too! He absolutely adored Christmas. I was the grinch😁! I am spending Christmas Day with DD, SiL and GS. It’s a mixed blessing because although it will be a lovely day, they will not allow me to lift a finger to help in any way, and so I feel like a spare part. When I host, everyone has a task, however small, and pitches in.

A thread for Christmas Eve is a great idea Wyllow. You can be with others and still feel alone and even if you're with someone who shares your pain, you don't necessarily want to talk about it in case doing so makes it all the harder for them too.

The OP could be something like 'A thread for Christmas Eve for anyone who for whatever reason finds this time of the year particularly difficult, because they cannot have the Christmas they used to have, or will never have the Christmas they always thought they would.'

do gransnetters feel it might be helpful for us all to set up a new thread in chat on chrtismas eve

or is chatting about it now enough?

if useful, suggestions for a title, and also a tactful way of suggesting its not for general c mas chat, but for those of us who might need a bit of support

DH and I enjoyed our Christmas quietly at home for many years just the two of us as he would not go to any family. Since he died the positive is that I can go to my family, the last two Christmasses being the first for many years that I have been able to do so.
However last year I was at my son’s in time for their exchange of presents for the first time ever and I was stunned at the amount of gifts, especially for their young adult children, nothing cheap or tacky either. I dread to think how much it all cost. Way out of my comfort zone.

I think DP means 'dear partner'

Louisa, excuse my ignorance but who/what is a DP?

grandMattie

DD would be devastated if I didn’t spend Christmas with her family.
Honestly? I’d be happy sitting at home with my marmite sandwich, crying my eyes out because I miss DH so much…

Found this so moving grandMattie💐
Widowed myself, DD and DS come to me and say, don’t worry, we’ll cook, which they do, but I’ve still got all the mess etc…
DD is a Xmas enthusiast and as it’s so important to her, I’m pleased to go along with it. Late DH was like Father Christmas himself, open door to the world and loved every minute😢

Yes, the intention of the O/P is to suggest as upthread, a mainly "home alone and its a bit difficult" thread on C mas day itself for whatever reason - a "gransnet do" where we can be honest and accept each other.
This will include not only this of us who have lost a DH, but those who maybe in an estrangement situation, or whose illnesses make home alone inevitable.

BUT - I am aware that home with DH, if for example DH has dementia and is no longer "themselves", or relationships are really bad, may not be a bed of roses at all.

My personal situation is that I managed to get out of an abusive marriage with the considerable help of the police in 2022, and the knock on effect was so profound a depression that I was suicidal on and off for two years. During this bad marriage of course I was never really allowed to have friends and certainly collected none whilst depressed.

So I'm a lot better, but its still home alone, and I am aware of the range of reasons people are or feel alone well as other reasons for wanting a benign and kind "Get together" on c mas day.

it has been fascinating to read of others choices for Christmas Day alone, however. Hats off to the holiday takers and cruise goers and charity working!

Hashtag Rosiesmaw

RosieandherMaw

Absolutely.
Christmas is never the same if you’ve lost you husband/ life partner. Doesn’t matter how many visitors you have.

I have spent the last two Christmases with my son and this year I will go to my daughter, probably just for lunch which will be lovely. . If I stay over I can have a glass or two of wine and an evening of games which I enjoy but I am not that bothered. I still have to come home to an empty house at some point.

Just me and DH on the day our DD and family will visit either the weekend before or after and we will probably do a video call on the day. A few years ago I invited a friend to join us for lunch, we were having a lunch delivered, the food wasn't up to much and I felt I had to entertain her as she was a guest. DH said we are better off just us. I cook what we like and too our timeline and crack open a bottle of champagne watch what we want . My DD sends us loads of messages and photos throughout the day. We love planning our menu and we usually get to have something a little different.

Can I just point out that there is a world of difference between Christmas alone and Christmas with a partner as quoted on the thread title.
Oh yes, we can talk about housefuls of AC, GC , siblings or not, but the bottom line is that Christmas “just with DH” is not Christmas alone - as any body who has been widowed can attest.
In fact, you can have the extended family around you, but when the one you spent your life with is not there - you can still feel very alone.
#justsaying

I will be alone again this Christmas Day but decided to have 2 nights at a seaside hotel with a spa and pool on the 21st and 22nd. Got a ticket for the afternoon panto too. A chance to see the lights and join in a bit. Surprisingly affordable.

This thread made me think about doing Christmas differently so I've invited a couple of friends to join us on Christmas day,who went to a hotel last year. They may already have booked something but I realised it would be good to share our Christmas with them if they are free.

Might try volunteering to help out at Salvation Army or the like.

DD said she did that last year, AuntieE (she's overseas) and thoroughly enjoyed it.

M0nica Things do change, at Christmas, as in everything else and I can never understand why some people cannot just acept and adjust, especiaally at Christmas, the season of goodwill!

I agree.

Change is inevitable, one can't have everything they desire.

Perhaps accepting is a pleasant way forward.

Husband & I on Christmas Day.
Boxing Day with my parents, son (his girlfriend is going to her parents) & my dads sister

We’re spending Christmas & NY in Lanzarote. Having been in the licensed trade for a good number of years it makes a great change to have someone else do the waiting on. I also spent NY on call for my full time job for a lot of years so the downtime is very welcome. Red carpet and Gold carpet gala dinners on Christmas night and NYE respectively spent with friends we’ve met over the years go down a treat. We’ve been lucky with beautiful weather over the past few years so fingers crossed it’s the same again this year.

Big Christmas for us, possibly 14 people including three toddlers. My last but one; New Year's Day 2027 is when I'm going to officially Hang Up My Apron. And anyone who wishes to invite me to Christmas after that is very welcome to stick a microwaved ready meal on my plate, I shan't complain.

The kids and partners, plus two adult grandchildren descend on me on Christmas Day, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I love the cooking, prep etc and
seeing all their happy faces around the table.
One of these days when I’m old and crotchety they can cook me a Christmas dinner,

Christmas is a difficult time for widows. You are reminded of what you have lost. There's always a large gap where he used to be.

MrB and I will spend the day together at home, going out for our usual walks and enjoying a few foodie treats.