I was reading a very interesting article the other day which suggested a lot of our Christmas Traditions begin with Dickens, specifically the Christmas Carol. The whole concept of it being a family event for one.
Of course, trees were introduced in Victorian times. My GP worked at Christmas, just another day.
I see posts here and hear out and about women ( usually) agonising about the event. Falling out, harsh words, petty arguments.
Maybe its good just to dial it all down and meet up in the Spring time?
I much prefer a “thank goodness Christmas is over” meal, in or out, not fussed. But then I’m not a very sociable person.
When I had four children living at home I got to the stage when I really hated the whole business, was exhausted for the event itself, resented all the expensive shopping and the never-ending wrapping. Now we live alone and just have two adult children and two offspring visiting it isn't so bad.
We're going away to our holiday home with them this year and everything will have to be simpler as we can't take everything with us.
We've never actually had a Christmas by ourselves, but for one wondrous year I had flu and stayed at home alone with ready meals whilst my husband went to stay with my son, his wife and their family.
My friend from near Nottingham does this advent window organised by their Church.
They draw numbers and this dictates when their window is revealed.
It is a huge thing for the village and a lovely walking route for children.
Referring to the mention of Christmas windows, a relative lives in a small village where people decorate their windowx for Advent. Each window is revealed in turn on each day of December. How exciting. And they do look wonderful
M0nica
The period of the winter solstice has always been a time for celebration and excess, whether pagan or Christian, or secular as now. Traditions and behaviour have changed over time as everything does. A lot of rubbish is talked about Dickensian Christmases, but all he was doing was writing about what was already happening around him.
While Prince Albert populised the Christmas tree on his marriage to Queen Victoria. the tradition is believed to have started around 1800. The Yule log has always been associated with Christmas, so has holly, ivy singing carols, huge fires, gift giving
Onee of the thing I have learned from GN is that some families will have rows and hissy fits over almost anything. If Christmas wasn't around for them to fall out over, they would find something else.
I love Christmas, always have, always will, and I have yet to fall out with any of my family over it.
What a great post- going to say the same thing.
Except, Christmas is still for me a religious festival and all about family too if you celebrate together.
However, the older I get the less the 'magical' element, I clung to for most of my life, is just about gone due to family pressures, which are an inevitable part of life and are magnified by the intensity of Christmas Day for some people.
I think people should jiust try to relax about it all, not easy but somewhere there has to be not just peace on earth- but peace in us too...
Christmas gets me and some others I know through the winter months.
Well, there is still often so weeks in Jan, but gets through Nov and Dec at least.
And people do think about Christ.
I am a Humanist (atheist), and always happy to join in any celebration by any religion, where it involves, happiness, family and food.
Before I married, my parents would 'do' Xmas day in their small council flat, for my brother and his wife and children, me - and when I got engaged my fiancee and his siser & widowed Mum. Not sure how we squeezed round their small dining table!!! In the afternoon we would also be joined by various Aunts and uncles.
Following the first xmas after the birth of my first child my Dad solemnly presented me with the large dish for cooking a turkey and I was told, it was all too much for them and I would now be expected to do this at our house.
Did so over next twenty years, and as we eventually had six children it was an exciting time. 25th December was also my parents wedding anniversary, so double celebration. Children would have their father christmas sack of pressies during the night, but were not permitted to open the pressies under the tree until Nanna and G.pa had been brought to us (usually around 11 ish).
Would have various extended family join us in afternoon. Never felt the same for me after my Mum died.
This is the winter solstice, so most religions have customs and celebrations involved to ' bring back the sun'.
My mum was a practicing Jew, my Dad was an athiest jew!!! <Mum always insisted we could not switch on the lights on the xmas tree until the Hanukah candles had burned out (where these coincided with xmas, which it often does).
so many of what are thought off as Christian beliefs come from much earlier like Saturnalia, etc. Anyway, I thought that research had shown that Joshua (jesus) was probably born in Spring, not mid-winter!!! Romans were good at adapting their own religious practices to those of conquered peoples.
StripeyGran
GG, respectfully, I get it that you love the seaason. Perhaps you are a wonderful host and your family all rub along well together. Nice!
But not everybody has this and Christmas can become such a focus for discontent and stress.
Ditto GG. I enjoy Christmas. It is not always easy, with the all the stress and angst involved and the dynamics of trying to please and include everyone. However, over the years, I have found ways to deal with it and let some things go.
More importantly, Christmas is very important for me, from both a family and religious aspect and long may it continue.
Thankfully, I'm an Athiest and never have anything to do with Christmas. From what I've read, it's a whole load of trouble for a lot of people/families with silly arguments and falling out and huge debts, buying presents for people that the recipient hates/receiving so they end up in the bin, just for one day!
No thanks! I have no family of any type; it's only ever been just me, so I'm sticking to my books and soft toys!
MartavTaurus
Women [usually] agonize all year over lots of things.
Its in their dna.
Christmas is no difrrent.
Well somebody has to, or things don't happen 😂
My husband once proudly announced that he'd booked the car park at Birmingham airport for our upcoming holiday.
Unfortunately we were flying from East Midlands.
(Yes he had been told).
I love Christmas. This will be poignant amidst joy as it’s our third without Grandad, daddy, my husband, I’ll visit his resting place
I have nativities and decorations collected over many years. I still buy a real tree, and no doubt will try, possibly fail, to buy a smaller one thisyear.
We will aim to go to church on Christmas Eve. This year one of our daughters is hosting, I did the year D died as daughters and grandchildren wanted the comfort of familiarity. I hosted last year and I’m looking forward to being hosted this year
High emotion, special food, getting together . I count my blessings and will miss him
StripeyGran
I'm thinking of having a go at decorating a window. I know you can pay people to do it but I'll have a bash.
Go for it 👍
Some of our local shops have their windows painted/decorated by the same local lady, they look fabulous.
MartavTaurus
Women [usually] agonize all year over lots of things.
Its in their dna.
Christmas is no difrrent.
It is possible to walk away though.
StripeyGran
GG, respectfully, I get it that you love the seaason. Perhaps you are a wonderful host and your family all rub along well together. Nice!
But not everybody has this and Christmas can become such a focus for discontent and stress.
Well, that was unnecessary.
Women [usually] agonize all year over lots of things.
Its in their dna.
Christmas is no difrrent.
I'm thinking of having a go at decorating a window. I know you can pay people to do it but I'll have a bash.
My tree is artificial and has sentimental value. One year I couldn't afford a real tree and had decided not to bother. My dd, Dsil and ds bought me a lovely artificial one so I always put it up now early in December. I haven't bought new decorations for years. Dd has taken over the Christmas dinner and my contribution is homemade bread sauce.
I used to have big Christmas celebrations but sadly many of friends and family have died. I think it's all got out of hand
As we're going to be home for Christmas this year I'm rather looking forward to having a few decorations. I'm considering making my own tree using greenery from the garden. We had a big artificial tree that was over 30 years old but OH has thrown it out! I like to put something on my fb page to wish my friends season's greetings. Over the years I've written poems, trained a robin to take food from my hand for a video, dressed the dogs up as reindeer for a pic painted a Christmas card etc I'm running out of ideas! Christmas is what you want it to be. I'm not remotely religious, it's only a day and my birthday is boxing day so I do like it to be vaguely celebratory and happy.
🎄I believe our late Queen kept her tree up until Candlemas, which is in early February ……..
"Candlemas commemorates the ritual purification of Mary, 40 days after the birth of her son Jesus. This day also marks the ritual presentation of the baby Jesus to God in the Temple at Jerusalem. The Gospel of Luke says that Jesus was met by Anna and Simeon.”
In 2026 that will be on the 2nd February. 🎄
One year I took ages to snip up a medium sized garden shrub with lots of small branche ready for the garden bin. Then could have kicked myself when I saw a similar leafless tree painted white and hung with a few small silver balls in a chic shop. I coukd have done exactly the same and that would have been a decoration which could have stayed till Easter and then decorated with something spring like.
Helter, I have decided that as we have decorated early I'll leave them up until the end of January. We were in France last year and our favourite restaurant didn't take theirs down till Feb! Get your money's worth out of the decs. It always feels so bare and dull when we take them down.
I reluctantly bought a fake tree some years back. We had always had a potted tree or a cut one which Dh would go and buy with our 2 DDs. That was part of their Christmas fun.
But DHs ill health and DDs grown up it seemed to be one worry we could do without.
The tree is a really quite authentic. A dark green small one. And I cover it with small white lights.
I switch it on on Dec 1st, but this year it may be earlier as I need the sparkle. I also have white sparkly lights over our pine dresser in the kitchen and that really lights up a grey day.
They stay on the dresser all year but only get switched on in the winter. It all helps on the darker days.
Oh and I finally gave way and bought a pre-lit fake small Christmas tree. My one pleasure every year was having a real potted tree. It usually lasts two or three years kept outside in its pot and then when it gets past it's best it stays outside with lights on. A few times I have nearly got a fake tree and ended up sending it back again. But this year is a practical year - OH has angina now, I have health issues. Just plug the tree in and make do!
Last year I decided we were going out for Christmas lunch - and that's it. Presents obviously and a tree but that was Christmas - going out for Christmas lunch - no stress and drama about getting all the food in to a deadline that isn't good for most of us anyway. It would all be provided on the day, No leftovers then back to normal! Eating from the freezer. Doing the same this year. There are only three of us - no real family outside of that. I have always wanted big family Christmases and never had them - but I know they come with problems as well for some! The idea of lots of people celebrating together seems so warm and lovely. But I haven't had that and am not likely to so I like to just keep it simple and not let it take over life. Christmas to me is - get organised before the end of November then forget it! The Christmas lunch is booked. Presents ordered, pre-printed Christmas cards ordered - because it became a big chore when I have difficulty writing these days. It's expensive but it's my Christmas present to me. Just put the cards in the envelopes, the addresses are printed out on sticky labels and the labels and stamps stuck on the envelopes - done. My pace of life has changed and Christmas cannot take over 2 to 3 months a year! I haven't seen a single TV advert because I don't watch TV that much! I don't get out to the shops much so I haven;t even noticed it's been Christmas in the shops since August. The only thing I can't not notice is black friday when it comes along as I'm on the internet. I ignore that too as we have no childrens presents to buy now. So Christmas for me is one nice day, for all of us, no stress and then focus on other things in life.
The period of the winter solstice has always been a time for celebration and excess, whether pagan or Christian, or secular as now. Traditions and behaviour have changed over time as everything does. A lot of rubbish is talked about Dickensian Christmases, but all he was doing was writing about what was already happening around him.
While Prince Albert populised the Christmas tree on his marriage to Queen Victoria. the tradition is believed to have started around 1800. The Yule log has always been associated with Christmas, so has holly, ivy singing carols, huge fires, gift giving
Onee of the thing I have learned from GN is that some families will have rows and hissy fits over almost anything. If Christmas wasn't around for them to fall out over, they would find something else.
I love Christmas, always have, always will, and I have yet to fall out with any of my family over it.
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