Boasting.

After my Yoga class , I undo all the good with a hot chocolate and a bun in a cafe and I've noticed that most women sit together in pairs .
One is often dominant in the conversation and it's all about her .
The other lady just sits and listens .
For umpteen years I've listened to my neighbour endlessly complain about her unfortunate husband. He is so hen pecked.
When I chat I'm often told ,"you said "whether I have or not !
Over the last couple of years , she really isn't interested in my conversation and drifts off to talk to other people .
But I think that she's suffering from depression .
I also think that catching Covid has affected her mentally .

My 97 year old neighbour rang me this morning asking if I could help her with something. I went round, helped he with her problem. She proceeded to tell me about her hospital appointments (she's amazing for 97), new central heating system, her personal alarm, her friend's knee operation, her. garden. At no point did she ask how we were. Yes she can be excused at 97 but she was the same when we moved in here 45 years ago!

We’re all proud of our dc and dgc and there’s nothing wrong with that , but some people , mainly women just bang on about their dc/dgc and don’t ask about yours .
I used to work with a woman who’d ask about my dc or my holiday , I’d get three words out and then she’d interrupt and tell me about her dc and her holiday .

There's a fine line between boasting and being very proud. Our DS does a very worthwhile job and I'm extremely proud of his achievements so I do talk about him, given the opportunity. I'm not boasting, I'm just burstingly (sorry!) proud of all he has achieved.

hollysteers

My mother, a modest woman, had a friend who dominated the conversation with her own and her daughter’s achievements. One day she said she was going that night into the city to the opera and was making an effort to dress up. My mother was able to reply that her own daughter was singing the leading role (me). No I’m not boasting!🎼

Love it!! 😁

Musicgirl

Magenta8

windmill1

It's like those Christmas Round Robins - vomit inducing.

I have a book of collected Round Robins and some of them are hilarious. One read something like:- "Despite attending every house party in North London, Claudia managed five A*s at A level. Cambridge here we come! She will be able to carry on her modelling career in the vacs. Brains and Beauty!!"

Claudia's older sister Charlotte barely got a mention.

Yes, l have that one, too. It’s very funny.

Yes, I had a book of Round Robins which I bought years ago. Must look it out.
I wonder why they're called Round Robins?

Definitely not boasting hollysteers if you have a talent there is nothing wrong with acknowledging it.

My mother, a modest woman, had a friend who dominated the conversation with her own and her daughter’s achievements. One day she said she was going that night into the city to the opera and was making an effort to dress up. My mother was able to reply that her own daughter was singing the leading role (me). No I’m not boasting!🎼

Those posters saying it is only pride in the family’s achievements really have never met the type of person that some of us know or have come across.
Their only topic is just how superior their family is to yours and how we really need to be reminded over and over again.

Magenta8

windmill1

It's like those Christmas Round Robins - vomit inducing.

I have a book of collected Round Robins and some of them are hilarious. One read something like:- "Despite attending every house party in North London, Claudia managed five A*s at A level. Cambridge here we come! She will be able to carry on her modelling career in the vacs. Brains and Beauty!!"

Claudia's older sister Charlotte barely got a mention.

Yes, l have that one, too. It’s very funny.

windmill1

It's like those Christmas Round Robins - vomit inducing.

I have a book of collected Round Robins and some of them are hilarious. One read something like:- "Despite attending every house party in North London, Claudia managed five A*s at A level. Cambridge here we come! She will be able to carry on her modelling career in the vacs. Brains and Beauty!!"

Claudia's older sister Charlotte barely got a mention.

I hope she's reading this...

I wouldn't consider that one interaction boasting you asked and she replied. You just don't get on.
Now my neighbour has always been nosy and boastful, you are lucky to get a word in, her son in particular, an obnoxious man, is risen to high Saint status. She can't say hello without telling you in full how excellent are her grandsons, everyone headhunted. She carries her phone and subjects you to photos of each one, then says I will just pop back and show you the latest framed ones I have, everyone avoids, if you have a workman in, a knock on the door, can I borrow him for a minute there is a light bulb that needs putting in or a. heavy object that needs moving. One took pity and did go, he was as there ages and he got the photo treatment. Her life is her family, she has no friends or interests, she drives people away.

It's like those Christmas Round Robins - vomit inducing.

Hollysteers 😅🤣 that is quite funny!

I know someone who can clear a room as she tells anyone who's listening of all her life achievements... 🥱 🥱

Now I'm widowed, I miss being able to talk about the DC and GC with someone who loves them and is as proud of them as I am.

I probably share too much with my friends and hope I don't boast. My friends are very good at seeming interested...... 😴

M0nica

Perhaps the biggest boaster is the one who says nothing. they are secure enough in themselves to feel no need to compete, even though they know their own family are doing well by most people's judgment.

How can you be a big boaster and say nothing?🤔

Esmay

We had one at our little tea club . She was such in pain in the behind that we used to yawn and move .
She stopped coming .

I live near a Hyacinth Bucket .
Oh she who won a prize for having the best garden.
It was such an effort for her gardener .
She is all friendly one minute then as cold as ice . I never know what sort of mood she's going to be in .
She loves committees and being top doggie shouting orders .
And our Vicar is frightened of her.
She was only rivalled by her neighbour. ,who had new shelves put in for her first editions .
I nearly asked her if she had room for a pony .

The worst type of snobbery are those ghastly round robins .
They are never going to tell you the truth about family life ie :Grandma got done for shoplifting again .
I wish that I'd framed the one that said the dry summer meant that the moat had dried up ,but never mind Quentin and Dorian were both down and managed to refill it on their way to Peru.
I'm so glad it must have been a tremendous relief.

😂My late DH used to compose round robins which actually did tell the truth! I came across one in one of his old friend’s house (he did show it to me) and it had all the details of my hysterectomy complications and DS’ difficulties etc etc 😨

Kate1949

I know several people who, when I ask how they are, go on about the achievements of family members but never ask about me or mine.

Yes, this is all too common, isn't it? It's like those dreadful Round Robin letters that were so popular a few years ago, which were a complete boastfest. I also find that on the occasions people have been boasting about their family or giving me every single symptom of a recent illness, both of which seem to be at great length, they might just ask me how l am - at which point l have lost the will to live altogether.

My first reaction is "well, you did ask" and you did.
However it would have been better if she'd asked how you and yours were, before she got 'distracted' - not sure what you mean by that by the way, but she didn't.
I really think you are reading more into the conversation than you need to. Let it go.

I guess there is a fine line between being proud of an achievement or family, and being perceived as boasting.

Just yesterday I was out for dinner with some friends, and was quite pleased to tell them that my blood pressure was lowering, and I my medications had been cut in half. I've really been eating well and exercising consistently since retiring. My friend exclaimed that hers kept going up, and she was in a dangerous stage, but the medication was not working! I ended up feeling bad that I even mentioned my doctor's appointment.

Was I a braggart? I didn't mean to make my friend feel bad.

Camry1952

I've been places where the person sitting next to me starts telling me about random people and scrolling through their phone showing me pictures while I have to pretend to be interested in this while they ramble on without showing any interest in a two way conversation. And yes, much of what they're saying is bragging.

They are displaying poor social skills.

If you don't know how to extricate yourself from monopoly by bores and boors, then you need to do some work on your own social skills.

I've been places where the person sitting next to me starts telling me about random people and scrolling through their phone showing me pictures while I have to pretend to be interested in this while they ramble on without showing any interest in a two way conversation. And yes, much of what they're saying is bragging.

"Hello, how are you ...

and how's the family?"

If you ask that question, you will get information about the family so if you don't want it, stop before the 'and'.

Many of my friends knew my children when they were growing up so asking about them means they actually are interested. My DD came back home to live with me for eighteen months from 2022 so even more recently acquired friends may have met her or know about her. Consequently I may be guilty of boasting about her more than my son, despite both being successful. Very few friends ask about DS as they didn't know him so well. They do however ask about his children, my GC.. I hope I can tell when people are genuinely interested and when they aren't. As others have said, it is ok to be proud of our children's achievements but we also need to be able to read the room.

Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
The three men started talking, bragging about their sons.

The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free."

The second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multiline dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend a new Mercedes."

The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio."

The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes. The first man mentioned, "We are just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"

The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and dances in a gay bar.
I'm not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio.