Boasting.

kircubbin2000

At a funeral today I was surprised to see an old friend who dropped us a few years back after a drunken night when she disapproved of our friends.
The usual greetings were made and I asked about the family as you do.
She went into great detail about how her son had been head hunted and is now ceo of a very big firm in Hong Kong. Then she got distracted and moved off.
Some of mine have done interesting things too but I wouldn't boast about them. Wasn't asked anyway.

Why do you consider this as boasting?

You asked her about her family, and she told you how they were.

It would have been polite of her to ask how your family was before moving off, but IMO she was not boasting, simply answering a civil question, albeit a bit long-winded about it.

crazyH

Tenko - what is sahm ?

stay at home mum

I think people really are confusing boasting with being proud. They are not the same thing at all.

I know somebody who went to Oxford University and writes history books for a living.

His parents are utterly ashamed of him. His mother because going to Oxford "made him rude" and he "Always looks untidy and never combs his hair properly." His father is very disappointed in him because he was hopeless at cricket and never came anywhere near being good enough to join a local team let alone play for the county.

I suppose this the opposite of boasting.

Nothing wrong with being proud of your family!

With regards to GC, particularly young ones, I think over the years times have changed quite dramatically.

a) Many of our AC have had their families much later than we did, career building and suchlike, so many of us have waited much longer to become GP’s, and the arrival of GC has been much anticipated and longed for.

b) Photos can be taken so easily nowadays, no need for a camera and going to Boots to get the film developed. All instant, so easy to bore the pants off all and sundry with dozens of pictures of little Freddie and Amelia, taken whilst childminding, babysitting, visiting etc.

My own children had their families whilst I was, by today’s standards, still relatively young. Consequently, my GC are now adults, whereas many of my friends have GC just being born.

I smile and listen to how advanced one is with their numbers, how another knows all their colours, and how someone else loves story time at the library…..

Don’t think I used to say much about mine, unless particularly asked, and then was very aware not to ‘go on’ about them.

I think the problem here is not the boasting but that the expression of interest wasn't reciprocated. At best that is poor social skills, at worst it's rude!
BTW I have an acquaintance who is just like this!

Perhaps the biggest boaster is the one who says nothing. they are secure enough in themselves to feel no need to compete, even though they know their own family are doing well by most people's judgment.

Esmay

We had one at our little tea club . She was such in pain in the behind that we used to yawn and move .
She stopped coming .

I live near a Hyacinth Bucket .
Oh she who won a prize for having the best garden.
It was such an effort for her gardener .
She is all friendly one minute then as cold as ice . I never know what sort of mood she's going to be in .
She loves committees and being top doggie shouting orders .
And our Vicar is frightened of her.
She was only rivalled by her neighbour. ,who had new shelves put in for her first editions .
I nearly asked her if she had room for a pony .

The worst type of snobbery are those ghastly round robins .
They are never going to tell you the truth about family life ie :Grandma got done for shoplifting again .
I wish that I'd framed the one that said the dry summer meant that the moat had dried up ,but never mind Quentin and Dorian were both down and managed to refill it on their way to Peru.
I'm so glad it must have been a tremendous relief.

Esmay, you’ve just made me spurt my cup of tea out with laughter about Quentin and Dorian!! You reminded me that some friends of my father used to write a very bragging round robin letter every Christmas, one year another friend who also used to receive said letters sent a spoof very much along the lines of Quentin and Dorian. Thanks for the good giggle.

I suppose it is down to the way the news was actually delivered as to whether it was boasting or not. Saying that my son is a CEO in Hong Kong could just be an informative update from a proud mother, not boasting per se. Your old friend may have little contact with him because of the distance and may just relish any opportunity to talk about him.

I have a SIL who has the best of everything; whatever we have she has better. I'm proud as Punch of my children but hers have always done better. My granddaughter is doing okay, she'll never be a rocket scientist but will get by; hers always get the highest marks with distinction and will be running the world one day. Some people just can't be average.

I live in a very, very posh village. When people find out where I live they're always impressed. If the person is up their own behind I simply smile and let them wallow in their jealousy. If the person is nice, I tell them that it's a council flat and that I live in a Hyacinth postcode with an Onslow and Daisy income .

Lol , pride cometh before a fall . I'm very proud of all my children's achievements and tell them so ,likewise my nieces and nephews but I don't feel the need to overshare with friends . If asked I say they're all doing well and working hard and move on .
The school playground for me was the worst back in the day ... all the little starlets bound for Oxford or Cambridge , going to play for England or get gold in the Olympics etc ... I never saw any of them up on the podium ha ha ha .
If you've had a lovely holiday I don't really care if it was in a tent or a 5* Hotel , it doesn't impress me , if you're adult child works digging the road or is a brain surgeon it's a well done from me for working hard and doing the best you can with what you have .
I once shared a holiday photo of a very sunny Dorset with someone abroad who unexpectedly had bad weather and got told in no uncertain terms to stop showing off ha ha ha 😀
Ll

rafichagran

I hope people don't get boasting, mixed up with pride. I am proud of my daughters achievements, I don't boast, but if people who know her ask directly, I will tell them.
I cannot stand people who if they hear good things of others are nasty and accuse them of boasting, they are resentful of everyone.

You’ve got a good point there rafichagran
It’s funny how there’s quite a bit of boasting on here that they know people who boast.

No idea what TTD was. I typed there being

I am always interested to hear how well or not my friends' children are doing, and they always ask about mine. I hope they don't feel I'm boasting, it's being close and understanding each other's lives.
We have known each other for 45 years though, and watched our children grow up. But surely it's natural to be proud of your children's achievements?

I had an aunt who boasted all the time, to people she met, about everything. Unfortunately for her, all the family and some friends knew that it was all lies.
We were never sure whether she just thought she could get away with it, or whether she was seriously deluded herself.

I agree about TTD possibly too much detail, but perhaps the OP needs to think more carefully about her questions.
If I ask somebody, “How are you?”
I wouldn’t expect to get a string of her family’s achievements.
If I ask about her family, why wouldn’t she tell me what they’re doing?
Maybe be better just to talk about the weather.

If you don’t want to hear about other people’s families then don’t ask the question “How are the family?” If you do ask then expect a possible long answer. I tell it like it is. Sometimes my kids are flying high. Other times their world is in turmoil. That’s life.

Skydancer

I never boast or brag about anything. There’s always going to be someone richer or cleverer so what’s the point. But I do keep a few things up my sleeve which I can pull out of the bag if someone really winds me up.

Not in this rain! 😬

V happy to look at your kale 👍

Granatlast007

Actually Lathyrus3 as a keen gardener, I would be very happy to see your photos of your squashes, I could show you our excellent kale and the destruction wrought on our sweetcorn by the local badgers as long as we moved on to other subjects.

Don’t talk to me about badgers😡 They dug up two squashes

Ooops, there I go again………

More than anything for me it’s when their family achievements is their sole subject, I always ask what they are interested in, but some people don’t seem interested in anything else, they don’t have passions, which I’d far rather hear about.

Ah, the crux of the matter.
I am happy to hear” oh Susan got a 1st in her degree and has been headhunted by ICI and earns £300,000 a year, we are very proud of her achievements, she is very settled, now how are your family, how is the new baby?”
That is a good conversation.