Taking offense.

I once told somebody that "We obviously don't share the same values." We were discussing the re-introduction of the death penalty. I meant it as a statement of fact not a put down but I was then hit with the "In order to insult me. I must first value your opinion." thing which, in this context, I found insulting.

I love that FGT2 👍🏻

I know I am easily offended so keep off controversial subjects.

I am still hurt by someone's remark on GN well obviously you can't cook Can't remember the poster or the subject, but I can remember the hurt and it was a few years ago.

I don't respond as I don't like slanging matches but I can't help remembering even though many of you won't even think it insulting.

Lathyrus3

“In order to be offended I must first value what you have to say.”

I’ve actually got a badge that says that😬

Can I have one please?😂

I do think these days there are some people who go out of their way to be 'offended'.

😁👏

Here Lathyrus3
I’ve used it on occasion on GN!

To clarify my post a little to me humour isn't getting cheap laugh at someone else's expense that is cruel and unnecessary . Trivial is used in its literal sense as of little value or importance not meant to belittle anyone's real problems. There we have it everyone approaches things with their own agenda. I have always tried to have a positive outlook, I think we could all do with a bit more 'Anne of Green Gables' and look for the good instead of always seeing the bad. Grannygravy13 I too hope your problems resolve themselves soon.

Absolutely, Whiff. I think there is a difference between taking offence and simply disagreeing.
TikTok is a horrible example of this. People who have a different opinion, however respectfully presented, are labelled haters.

I largely agree with Romilo. Offence is taken too easily these days, but I also think it's good that we now realise how hurtful words can be. Having been on the receiving end of a hurtful jibe when I was younger, it makes us more aware.
But it has gone too far. Everyone and his dog seems to find offence where mostly none exists. So a happy medium is needed really.

I don't take offense as people can say what they want to me . I don't take things personally. But if I disagree with them over something then I will put my point of view. Life is to short to take offense or hold grudges .

My problem is builders

GrannyGravy13 I am so sorry that you are feeling so down at the moment. I hope your issues are resolved soon.

GrannyGravy13

Oh I know I am over tetchy at the moment, never far away from tears or a feeling that everything is against me.

I know the reasons why, I am constantly telling myself to snap out of it, I know I will when the issues are resolved 🤞🏻

Are you tetchy, or perhaps in truth feeling raw from whatever is upsetting your life? I hope it resolves soon.

Oh I know I am over tetchy at the moment, never far away from tears or a feeling that everything is against me.

I know the reasons why, I am constantly telling myself to snap out of it, I know I will when the issues are resolved 🤞🏻

“In order to be offended I must first value what you have to say.”

I’ve actually got a badge that says that😬

'Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been'.

Wise words from Marcus Aurelius; people either intend to be rude and offensive and if ignored they have not succeeded, or they don't mean to be and would be horrified to learn they have upset someone. Gransnet has had much on this subject over the years. People who post really sharp and nasty comments on other's posts must feel so frustrated when nobody responds. I agree Romilo - too much energy is expended by some in looking for offence where none is intended.

What I can't stand are people who are totally insensitive to other people's sensibilities and ladle out offensive remarks but when it comes to them they are very quick to take offence. I have worked with quite a few people like that who operate a double standard and of course, Trump is a prime example of this.

Also I think that for years women were expected to put up with sexist remarks and even molestation without protest. Now that it has been recognised as not being acceptable behaviour in the workplace or elsewhere women are able to voice their protests at such behaviour without being sanctioned.

Apologies -
ROMILO it is (I hope I haven’t offended you 😁)

I think you’re absolutely right ROMILO that there’s a distinct lack of humour around and offense taken more often.The rise of SM I think where the high horses gallop about together.
There are offensive things said of course by some and on a forum such as this one for older people, personal attacks are against the rules, as are some other things.Out in the real world it does also appear that a bit of humour and give and take would go a long way to making things better natured.

There’s a lot more awareness of other people’s mental health instability which although a good thing in and of itself, I do agree Romola that there’s less humour and more general ‘flakiness’ around these days. So much comes with a ‘trigger warning’. I think some folk search for offence … maybe they’re unhappy? 🤷‍♀️

ROMILO - I agree with you to a certain extent. If you ever stumble across Mumsnet they take offense at everything on there. I don't however like humour making fun of someone.

I think people have always been like this, (as per keepingquiet's sort of remark)

but I do think the higher levels of stress in the workplace and other situations like... less easy to get health provision do trigger more responses than previously, and people "snap" like they might have not done before.

What’s trivial to you may not be trivial to the person involved

I hate insensitivity, but especially if people make a crass joke and then pretend they didn't know it would be offensive...