Talking to strangers

Greyduster

It used to puzzle DH that we couldn’t go anywhere without me striking up a conversation with a total stranger. I used to tell him it was a Yorkshire thing, but he was Welsh and from my experience over the years, it also seems to be a Welsh thing!

Well its definitely a Liverpool thing....I think its nice

I've had lots of really interesting conversations with complete strangers that I've sat next to on planes, trains and buses. I still correspond with a Canadian woman I met in Venice 10 years ago and I love talking to people from other countries and who live different lives to me. I'm just very sociable and am interested in people.

I'm quite happy to chat to strangers. I like friendly people. I find people who pass you and look well away, frightened to death in case they make eye contact really strange. It costs nothing to be friendly. If people tell you things about themselves it is because they want to or maybe need to. So why be unkind?

We retired to a small village. When walking our dogs, several folk will wave greetings or stop to chat. Even seasonal visitors to this area like to chat.
Where we used to live for years, folk never exchanged pleasantries on the dog walk. Perhaps a city mentality of Don't Talk to Strangers.

I seem to have the kind of face that attracts strangers, often with problems they’re desperate to unload. A lady in the JL lift on her first outing after a THR, a lady killing time before visiting her sister in a local psychiatric hospital and the middle aged cross dresser, who asked to share my table in a cafe, then showed me photos of his grandchildren. My DDs used to be mortified, but they’re much the same as me now.
It costs nothing to speak and smile to others.

I'm a shy but friendly person and when on a walk I look at people passing and if there is eye contact I will smile. If they say 'Hi' or 'Good Morning' that's a bonus as I'm quite lonely at the moment. Sometimes there will be a conversation which is lovely. I've had interesting conversations whilst on or waiting for a bus. People can be fascinating and surprise you. It can make your day.

I once had a 20-25 minute conversation with a chap whilst we were both looking at the cheese display in a shop! We started talking about all sorts - after discussing cheese - and he told me about his niece who is well known in women's football circles and who he is so proud of. I see her on TV sometimes.

And there is no way I would laugh at a waitress who was menopausal and just wanted a little bit of understanding and some light heartedness with customers. Where is the understanding and compassion in mocking someone who is opening up and sharing something which was obviously on her mind?

My son has always been horrified by my speaking to people. He's nearly 50 now and still hasn't got used to it. I really shocked him one day, as we were coming out of lockdown, when I walked across a carpark to speak to a nun. "Why were you talking to that NUN?" was his horrified question. I explained that I'd met her in a cancer support group and just wanted to know how she'd coped with lockdown. He still wasn't impressed.

4xGranny

My husband and I go walking two or three times a week. It is noticeable that people over 40 will say good morning or make a comment about the weather etc. However anyone younger just look away.

It’s true that older people are most likely to give out a friendly greeting and to answer, younger ones are glued to their phones.

Magenta8

I walked over to my DDs for tea on Christmas day. There were not many people around. I wished a man who was walking in the opposite direction "Happy Christmas." He stopped and stared at me for a second and then said "Pardon." I repeated my greeting and he just said "Oh" and walked on. The other two people I greeted blanked me.

People are not very sociable round my way. It reminded me why, most of the time, I don't bother.

Miserable git wasn’t he?
A polite reply to a greeting costs nothing.

BlueBelle

But did you smile or speak to them Goodafternoontea ? Perhaps everyone, being reserved Brits, was waiting for the other to speak first.
I find myself smiling at everyone I meet, not on purpose, it just happens. If Iwas passing on a wildlife path like you I be saying good morning or something whether they did or not
Bet they would have all answered if you d have said ‘lovely day’ to them

No, round here not everyone answers if you say hello, Happy Christmas or Lovely morning.
I just smile at people I meet when I'm out walking,unless I know them, but my husband says hello to everyone we pass. If they ignore him, he gives their retreating backs a dirty look.

Not a natural 'joiner in-er' I have nevertheless, made the most lovely 'coffee date' friends just through chatting on the park, out on local walks and in town. Long Live Chatting!

Yes, always chat to strangers - out walking with the dog, in shops, the garden centre, travelling by train, bus or plane. It always cheers me up.

Himself calls me his ‘meeter and greeter”. 😁

My husband and I go walking two or three times a week. It is noticeable that people over 40 will say good morning or make a comment about the weather etc. However anyone younger just look away.

GoodAfternoonTea

I live by a long stretch of disused railway line which has been converted into a pleasant three mile walk, safe, in nature, with lots of wildlife. Walking from one end to the other I must have passed at least twenty people, not one said hello, smiled, or acknowledged my passing by. I now ignore people too. It's easier that way.

That's a shame. I too live by a former railway line, now a walking/cycling/horse riding track and everyone pretty much 100% acknowledges everyone else. The only exception is those wearing headphones which is fair enough I suppose.

I will say hello or good morning if I meet someone when I'm out with the dog, but other than that, I can go for days without speaking to another person apart from my husband. He, on the other hand, will talk to anyone he comes across. I think I'm this way after a lifetime spent interviewing people for work.

Over 50 years ago my mum struck up a friendship with a lady she met at a local bus stop on a regular basis.
This led to her meeting the lady's family, becoming friendly with them which resulted in her and my dad being invited to Perth in Australia, to stay with the lady's family there.

Round here it's usual to acknowledge everyone you pass on a country walk.
If they don't respond, I assume they are deaf.

I've been embarrassing my DC for decades by speaking to strangers. Just the other day at the pantomime I began chatting to the woman in the neighbouring seat, DD tugged at my arm and frowned.
I know my place.

My daughters say I've one of those faces that people talk to

I also have strangers talk to me in shops and bus stops etc and often they tell me all about themselves and their families. I do wonder if it is a female thing though as, when he was working, my DH could work with someone for 20 years but if I asked him whether they were married or had children he often didn’t know. He’d know what car they drove or what football team they supported though! Whereas, if I had a new member of staff I’d know their complete life story on the first day!
As for people saying good morning in the street, I think, if you live in a village, it is generally usual for people to greet each other in the street, even if they don’t know each other, but not so much so in a town.

Maremia

On buses, yes, also trains, but never planes. Wonder why not?
More stress, being on a plane?

My son has made several business acquaintances on planes!

People seem to seek me out to tell me their life story.
I think I must seem approachable.

I find I have proper conversations rather than a quick “good morning” when I’m walking my daughter or son’s dogs. Other dog walkers stop and chat.

I’ve been told that I have a face that people talk to! My mum was just the same. I exchanged Christmas cards for years with a lady that I met on a very long train journey. She lived alone and I like to think it helped her. I love speaking to people and hearing their stories.

dogsmother

I’m a huge chatter to strangers and have heard more tales of woe than I ever did when I was actually working.

I think part of that is that when one is older then it's a logical conclusion to draw that you've been through a lot of the bad stuff Life dishes out and will (should) understand. Yep....in my own case = relationship problems, illness of my own, illness inflicted on me by outside factors, housing problems, unfair dismissal, unemployment, low income, sex discrimination etc etc etc and yep.....a lot of older people have "been through the mill" a few times themselves in one way or another on the one hand v. there's others who have or have had a happy marriage/children they wanted to have/got grandchildren and want to swop photos and anecdotes with others who are grandparents.

But - one way or another - by this age there will have been "a lot of Life lived" by many of us. Though, even if we haven't been through something personally = then maybe it's something we've heard about frequently before. I think I "specialise" in hearing tales from ex battered wives - which is odd...as I've never been in that situation myself (ie one slap across the face years back from a boyfriend and 5 minutes later I'd walked out the door and he was history) - but maybe I get told about that because it's clear any man would only ever have got one slap in and I would have "walked out the door" and never seen him again and so perhaps they're looking for how to be that strong and determined that they won't get in that position ever again and think "She's learnt how to spot these men and avoid them - maybe I can pick up tips...".