Talking to strangers

I will chat to anyone, often starts with just a smile or good morning, I’ve had the most extraordinary conversations with some very interesting people from all over the world, travelling on the tube yesterday was most interesting, my son laughs and says no one chats on the tube mum…… I do 🤣

I’m a huge chatter to strangers and have heard more tales of woe than I ever did when I was actually working.

I never had a proper conversation with a stranger until I retired, maybe the odd pleasantry or answering a query, now I’ll strike up a conversation with anyone.

It comes from being lonely I suppose.

Maggiemaybe

notgran

Just before Christmas, friends and I were having a meal out. The waitress came over very bubbly took our orders then read them back to us and announced she forgets things as she's going through the menopause. I immediately said " Too much information, thank you". I was a bit shocked that she would just say that to customers she is serving. We all had a giggle when she had gone away but still feel it was unnecessary for her to share that and very unprofessional.

Well, we’re all different, I suppose. I feel very sorry for the waitress here and wouldn’t have seen anything wrong with what she said. I do hope she didn’t see you laughing at her.

Yep...I was thinking I would have regarded that as rude to speak to the waitress like that and would then expect her to "coincidentally" serve other tables first (I would have....).

I walked over to my DDs for tea on Christmas day. There were not many people around. I wished a man who was walking in the opposite direction "Happy Christmas." He stopped and stared at me for a second and then said "Pardon." I repeated my greeting and he just said "Oh" and walked on. The other two people I greeted blanked me.

People are not very sociable round my way. It reminded me why, most of the time, I don't bother.

notgran

Just before Christmas, friends and I were having a meal out. The waitress came over very bubbly took our orders then read them back to us and announced she forgets things as she's going through the menopause. I immediately said " Too much information, thank you". I was a bit shocked that she would just say that to customers she is serving. We all had a giggle when she had gone away but still feel it was unnecessary for her to share that and very unprofessional.

Well, we’re all different, I suppose. I feel very sorry for the waitress here and wouldn’t have seen anything wrong with what she said. I do hope she didn’t see you laughing at her.

I was staying in Belgium some years back and was taken aback that no one answered me when I smiled or said good morning they looked away

It’s a person thing I m from the East coast and people are supposed to be really reserved here, but if I smile at them or say good morning 9 out of 10 times I get a smile or a reply back, but I think if I didn’t start it they would naturally keep their head down I was a very very shy person but have come out of my shell over the years and since teens/ twenties have always felt comfortable talking or acknowledging others.

ixion

^Talking to strangers^.

It's what we do here, isn't it?

🤣 🤣

True. And then the whole shop comes out to join in!

It's a Scottish thing too! Particularly the West Coast. It was common to speak to people as you pass them or at a bus stop etc. I think it's less common nowadays because people hide behind their phone.

Greyduster

It used to puzzle DH that we couldn’t go anywhere without me striking up a conversation with a total stranger. I used to tell him it was a Yorkshire thing, but he was Welsh and from my experience over the years, it also seems to be a Welsh thing!

It is a bit of a Welsh thing. Things have changed for the worse since Lockdown - as pre-Lockdown it was rare to get off a long bus trip without having had a reasonable conversation with a total stranger and people are noticeably less likely to do that now than they were pre-2020 darn it.

But, thankfully, things are still more that way than I've been used to - cue for a friend of mine, for instance, is someone I had two hour-long or so chats with in the street and another one is a shopkeeper I've had many long chats with and (though I'm now a "familiar face" in my own little area) it's rare to even walk as far as the corner shop for something without a "good morning" or two being exchanged en route.

There are pluses and minuses to having moved here - but I regard it as one of the "pluses" of this area on the whole that it's pretty chatty.

I remember in the 70’s my aunt came from rural Ireland for a family wedding. She was in her 50’s at the time. They were farmers in quite a remote area and it was her first time out of Ireland.

I took her for a walk and every person we passed my aunt said “morning sir/morning m’am/it’s a grand day” etc. She received the odd smile or mumble in return but several times she was blanked and she just couldn’t understand it. It was alien to her that people didn’t chat.

Greyduster

It used to puzzle DH that we couldn’t go anywhere without me striking up a conversation with a total stranger. I used to tell him it was a Yorkshire thing, but he was Welsh and from my experience over the years, it also seems to be a Welsh thing!

I think it’s a person thing. You either do or don’t. Most people in our small town will say ‘Good whatever’ when they pass and we are in England. Doesn’t cost anything to be pleasant.

It used to puzzle DH that we couldn’t go anywhere without me striking up a conversation with a total stranger. I used to tell him it was a Yorkshire thing, but he was Welsh and from my experience over the years, it also seems to be a Welsh thing!

I generally smile and say ‘good morning’ to anyone I meet if out walking.

Most reply, some just look blank.

The latter I assume are newcomers to our little market town, and are not accustomed to eye contact.

But did you smile or speak to them Goodafternoontea ? Perhaps everyone, being reserved Brits, was waiting for the other to speak first.
I find myself smiling at everyone I meet, not on purpose, it just happens. If Iwas passing on a wildlife path like you I be saying good morning or something whether they did or not
Bet they would have all answered if you d have said ‘lovely day’ to them

On buses, yes, also trains, but never planes. Wonder why not?
More stress, being on a plane?

It’s easy to tell strangers things, knowing that you’ll probably never see them again.

‘A trouble shared’ type of thing.

I live by a long stretch of disused railway line which has been converted into a pleasant three mile walk, safe, in nature, with lots of wildlife. Walking from one end to the other I must have passed at least twenty people, not one said hello, smiled, or acknowledged my passing by. I now ignore people too. It's easier that way.

I’m quite happy to chat to people I don’t know, I don’t think anyone will run off with me these days.
In these days of machines and tech I could be the only person they speak to all day.

I can recall my mother complaining to the family about me.
She said that she hated going shopping with me because we couldn't walk to the busstop without the world and his wife talking to me.
Mum was a very quiet and private person .
Since she passed - people have described her as an introvert and sometimes a recluse .They don't know that she was actually lonely and depressed.
It's true though -I do talk to people a great deal .I think that I find them fascinating -no matter how old they are .
If they are foreign I'm longing to know where they come from.
And people tell strangers all sorts of private things about themselves.
It's off loading.

ixion

^Talking to strangers^.

It's what we do here, isn't it?

Good point, well made.

Just before Christmas, friends and I were having a meal out. The waitress came over very bubbly took our orders then read them back to us and announced she forgets things as she's going through the menopause. I immediately said " Too much information, thank you". I was a bit shocked that she would just say that to customers she is serving. We all had a giggle when she had gone away but still feel it was unnecessary for her to share that and very unprofessional.

I will chat to people in shops / supermarkets. I think when a stranger tells someone they have never met something very personal, they are needing to offload. If that happened I would listen, wish them well and move on.

Many years ago on the bus with 3yr old son I was chatting to a lady, son asked do you the lady when told no he said you shouldn't talk to strangers he had just had a talk at nursery about strangers.