How polite are you?

Politeness does not come into it. It is kindness to a dear friend. It costs you nothing but a few words and you can chck it out on new years day.

If it does get put out for the birds please be careful that no dogs can get to eat any of it as dried fruit is very poisonous to them. I’d just say that I’d had to change my diet for health reasons and could no longer eat rich puddings ( which, in my case, is actually true).

I see nothing wrong with sparing another’s feelings by being economical with the truth. We all do it. So as others have said say nothing and just be thankful that she takes the time to make this pudding, I imagine she gets a lot of satisfaction out of doing this so please don’t spoil it for her, and try giving her pud to someone else you know - though not a friend in common - who doesn’t make her ow puds but would like a home made one.

Does she read Gransnet? Your problem may be solved!

An old friend always gives a small (think ramekin size) Christmas cake to me knowing I don’t eat it but my husband loves it. We’re both aware that once he pops, the custom stops 😂

Sometimes you have to tell a white lie to spare someone' s feelings, I'd accept it with thanks. You don't have to tell her where it ends up.

Just thank her, she means well, , and dispose of it surreptitiously. Birds love it.

Just offer a kind polite version of the truth.

"I'm having to adjust our diet for family reasons, and I'm afraid Christmas Pud doesn't suit some. Next year we're going for a lighter dessert everyone can share. So this is to thank you for all the past years Puddings, (and let you know in good time, so next year you can put some other lucky person on the pudding list).

Deliver it in a card with a bunch of flowers. DDo it in the next few weeks.

If she probes about diet, you just say " I can say no more, apparently it's a very sensitive issue" (roll eyes, smile, change subject).

Next year if she offers/ delivers a pud you've laid all the ground work and can just say firmly " No thanks, please give it to someone else. No, I really mean it. ".

She means well so I wouldn’t hurt her feelings. Use your own pudding and feed hers to the birds. They will be glad of the nuts, fruit and calories at this time of the year.

There are lots of things you could do to the pudding to make it more palatable. I had two bought me last year which are still in date but never got eaten.

I plan to look up some ideas as it is mostly only dried fruit anyway.

It is then disposed of by Easter

Do hope you either give it away to someone who will eat it and enjoy it, or even the birds as a last resort, but trust it’s not simply binned.

Many families no longer have Christmas pudding; ours doesn't. Some because they can't, some because they don't like it.

Could you say something along the lines of " I think that may be the last Christmas I serve a traditional pudding. Tastes seem to have changed.", well before she starts making them?

I meant to add that I don't see this as an issue of 'politeness" but rather one of kindness. Why would you want to hurt a caring and lovely person over something so trivial?

I don't see the problem. Just continue to thank her graciously and then dispose of the pudding. It's only one pudding once a year! Discretion is the better part of valour.

Accept it with grace, thank her, keep it for a few weeks and feed it to the birds. On no account should you tell her a fib about your digestive system playing up……….you’ll never be able to eat anything rich in her company again and liars always get caught out eventually.

Tend to agree with Avalon. Suggest telling her perhaps as early as August that your digestive problems are getting worse and this year you won't be able to eat rich Christmas food.

Seems to make a bit of a mockery of her to let her pay for it and make it and then throw it away.

No need to upset her. Just say thank you and dispose of it as you like.

You are doing the right thing now. No need to change it and hurt her feelings.

Give it to a place that does Xmas meals for homeless etc

What’s a small unpalatable pudding in the grand scheme of things.? Just accept it in the spirit it’s been given and as someone suggested, feed it to the birds.

Say thank you and feed to the birds. She no doubt would be very upset if you refused it. An unwanted pudding is a small thing in the scheme of things and your friendship is more important.

Christmas puddings aren’t cheap to make and take some considerable time if you steam them properly. I would thank her and say it is very kind of her, but maybe point out you no longer eat Christmas puddings and prefer a light dessert. Perhaps she could give it to a Christmas kitchen for the homeless or lonely. Or you could donate it.

Of course just thank her kindly .Please don’t upset her by saying anything negative. She would be devastated.

One of my oldest very best friends always makes me gifts , nothing I will use or even like but I always say ‘how lovely’ and keep them in a box. Her heart would be broken if I said anything less. They have put all their effort in and given it with their heart. ❤️

What you are doing just now works doesn't it?
It's just one pudding, once a year.

I wouldn't say anything. It's an act of kindness, she doesn't need to know