How were you disciplined as a child??

Yes….. despite being an only child after 10 years of marriage, my mother kept a cane behind a curtain and I would have the back of my legs slapped with it. On one occasion when I had been asked several times to come in for dinner, she dragged me in and ripped open my left wrist on the door latch and my right foot went onto a hot chip pan which had been sitting by the door to cool. No dr or hospital visited and I still have the scar on my wrist today…. It was all my fault for not coming in when called

Smacks on bottom through clothes. Always threatened a "hiding". Had one once though when the pain shot up from my bottom to my mouth. I wasn't a naughty child.

I was verbally disciplined. A huge lack of emotional interest given. Was encouraged to be frightened of everything. Overbearing father. Eldest brother was beaten, next brother and he not physically touched. I still have emotionally issues owing to feeling I have to give to everyone to be liked. I’m 69 and it’s very hard.

My dear father never laid a finger on me, his way was to talk things through and reach some form of resolution.

My DM, on the other hand, had a very nasty and quick temper, she was always sorry afterwards but was responsible for bruising me by smacking me with a wooden spoon and once even gave me a black eye.

I didn’t have a great relationship with her until I left home.

I simply don’t believe corporal punishment works on any level, oh the irony of hitting a child because said child has hit another child!

From a very young age children can be “disciplined” without resorting to violence, however minor.

My father occasionally smacked my legs - I was a defiant child.

My mother largely ignored me, and rarely did smack, but as we got older she really went in for the silent hurt look, and a tear - this carried on well into adulthood if I did something she did not like - a great manipulator.

I admit to tapping my own DS in his early years when he did something really dangerous or nasty. He inherited my defiant nature. He was not one to be reasoned with and it did work because those rare occasions were remembered by no repeats. My DD was open to reason and very seldom had to be disciplined or punished in any way.

It was a different time - and even schools had a strap or cane.

My mother was dominated by her mother. I read GM's diaries and they had constant reference to being taken to Chapel. I must have hated it but I seem to have blocked it out as I can't remember going with her except on odd occasions . Definitely a "Thou shall not " church.
Mother got bragging rights as I was the only girl in the street who went to grammar school but I was always put down by the "I have kept you at school till your 14/15/16 and not had a penny out of you" I was even blamed for her having a bad figure as she couldn't afford a corset , having had to buy my school uniform.
She also played off my brother and me against each other until we eventually got wise to it, after 50 years. It has still left a gulf between us. Thank goodness my youngest grandchildren, with 10 years between them, are best mates

I know I twice had my bottom smacked by my mother when I was three or four, and that my sister did too.

After we started school, we were not smacked at home, and the schools our parents chose did not use any form of coporal punishment. Order marks and detention were the prefered method at school.

At home "a smacked bottom" (and I do mean smacked with the flat of a parent's hand) were replaced by verbal rebukes, explaining why what we had done was wrong, and unfortunately contain sentences such as the following:

I am very disappointed in you
I never thought my daughter would behave like that
I am thoroughly ashamed of you, behaving like that in public
I don't know what Mrs X must have thought of you.

These lectures lasted for what felt like an age.

Frankly, I had rather have been smacked, or sent to stand in the corner with my hands behind my back, or sent to bed without any dinner, but these punishments were considered inappropriate after the age of five.

So sorry to hear some of your stories - it’s barbaric ! Words were enough for me never ever had anything physical from either mum or dad. I cherish them and my childhood 🥰 I know I’m one of the lucky ones.

My parents never laid a hand on me as a child. My dad was beaten as a child and into his teens by his father and stepmother . He took beatings to protect his siblings. He escaped because he's siblings where frightened their parents would kill him . He joined the army at 17 and fought in WW2. But my dad never called it abuse he said they didn't spare the rod. He never saw himself as a victim.

If we where naughty we were told off and not allowed to watch TV or sent to our room . The worst thing was knowing we had let our parents down .

I was never hit/slapped by either my mother or father. They would say , that’s enough now, and I knew to stop. I remember one day I was arguing with my mother and she picked an umbrella up and chased me holding it in the air but then we both took the giggles. They were happy days.

I was also taught by nuns and don't remember any violent behaviour. But I have heard of it from others. Reading this thread is so sad that so many have been emotionally and/or physically abused. Children are precious and deserve much better. My childhood was pretty normal I suppose with threats but nothing carried out. I do however, recall the needlework teacher crashing a drumstick on my 9 year old hand because I lost my needle. Many years ago but never forgotten as it was so unfair. I am also struck by the amount of poor parenting by mothers with many fathers being more gentle and kind. This is my experience of men and women generally although obviously there are exceptions.

My mother used to introduce me to friends as “the biggest mistake I ever made”. When you hear it often, you begin to believe it. She suffered horribly from pre menstrual syndrome and every month it was best to avoid her. I was the only girl out of 3 and came of worst. Punched, slapped and regularly she bashed my head against my bedroom wall for something as minor as clothes falling off a coat hanger. I vowed to never be like her.

I was thrashed with a leather belt on the bare arse. Teachers would thrash us on the hands with a leather belt.

Once only on the Bum from Dad. Mum tried a couple of times but I ducked. They were okay.

Sometimes we were smacked at home, but that was usually my mother and was a quick swipe at the legs or bottom. It was spontaneous, not planned, and I don't remember it actually hurting - it was a bit like a mother cat cuffing her kittens away when they overstep the mark.

The more usual punishment was to be sent to bed without any tea, or supper, depending on the time.

I don't recall any children needing to be disciplined when I was in primary school, and even in secondary school it was rare - l an sure there must have been some children who were challenging but those in my form , looking back, were a very well-behaved lot.

That said, I do remember one history lesson with a trainee teacher who lost control of it. We would be about 12 at the time. He ended up telling us we were all to stay behind for a detention the next day. I wasn't a rebellious child, well certainly not at school, anyway, but there was no way I was going to attend a detention when I hadn't done anything wrong, so I simply didn't turn up. To this day I have no idea if anyone else did or not, but it was never mentioned again.

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to read what happened to so many of you. How lucky was I and my siblings. My Mum expected good behaviour and we knew when she was displeased with us by the tone of her voice. My Dad would simply say " enough!" That was all that was necessary. We were never punished physically or emotionally. I had loving parents and will always be grateful for that .
My one bad memory is of when I was 11/ 12 and in senior school. The geography teacher called me to his desk , slapped my legs before telling to go back to my place. I had no idea what I had done wrong! Or why he did that - I think know now , he probably enjoyed it. I never told my parents . I remember being so shocked!

No physical punishment. My mother didn't need it - my most vivid memories from my childhood are of my mother screaming and shouting at me that I was stupid, thoughtless, inconsiderate....

I got the occasional slap on the bottom but it was the psychological punishment that really hurt. My mother would just freeze me out, totally and forbid my younger sisters to speak to me. This could go on for 3 or 4 days, untill I gave in and begged to be part of the family again.
The other thing she did was have my suitcase packed and ready so I could be send to the the special boarding school for naughty children, which I was convinced existed. I thought this was normal..
At school those bl nuns had us standing in a corner of the corridor with a finger on our lips for talking. The shame of it when the rows of girls all had to file past me on their way back to class after playtime which of course I wasn't allowed to join.

My parents didn’t smack us. We had boundaries, expectations and they’d be disappointed by bad behaviour but never unkind or demeaning

The schools I went to used canes, slippers on boys, not girls.

Evangelical parents anything seen as
sinful so strict I struggle to find any happy childhood memories. I remember clearly without justification being hit by my Father I was a totally different parent when it was my turn Lack of confidence has been a major problem in my life

I was taught by nuns but never once had or saw or heard of any violence, we never were hit or slapped or anything I seem to be bucking the trend here but they were all quite kind and getting told off would be detention or lines onlyand that was 50s and early 60s

mostly my mum mainly words but often a slap on the legs but nothing that shattered my world or left with long lasting problems. I was always a Daddy's girl and only once he slapped me. mum was ill with migraine in bed and he kept telling me to be quiet but as usual naughty 6 year old stomping up and down the stairs and yelling so he grabbed and slapped my leg. funny i am 62 and as it was only once I have never forgotten it. I adored my dad and miss him every day. when I was 10 I was severely ill and they nearly lost me. i remember crawling to the bathroom and dad sat holding me crying begging me not to die.
at school it was the usual cane slipper board rubbers or hand slap. i was lucky never had anything but i remember one boy the teacher was slapping on his legs so hard it broke a plastic ruler so she grabbed another and carried on. that poor lad he walked with a limp rest of the day.

Am so sorry for those of you who had such awful experiences as a child with the two people whom you should have felt safe with and loved by.
Your stories will certainly help other members who may have suffered the same and felt alone with such terrible memories.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Meant to say, Mum used the “if you don’t stop that noise, you’ll get something to cry about!” I don’t remember any of us finding out what that ‘something’ was. We just knew it meant we had to stop.

Our punishment was time in our room-the equivalent of the ‘naughty step’ I suppose.
Primary school was conduct marks. If you got 4 in one week you were sent to the head for ‘the cane’. I never found out how that worked.
DH said they used a pump on the rear for misbehaviour.
Strangely enough, years later, it was DD who saw the board rubber being thrown (not at her), by a supply teacher. I went into school to complain. The teacher never appeared again.