Living Well, Living Solo

We have a basic care system (over 55's retirement flats) for which we can request the pendant or watch but I'm going to try and go down the technology route as I feel comfortable with that.

I realised, talking to our Freeholder's agent the other day, that different "Retirement" flats can provide even more differences than I had thought about

I bought one of those Care Alarms which I wear around my neck 24/7. I paid marginally extra because I am more likely walking to shops than in my rear garden. I have no Iiving relatives in this country and I didn't want to disturb working friends and neighbours.
Minor problem is it is very sensitive and one night when asleep must have crushed under a breast, so I was woken asking if I was okay, and I just had to press and talk to the alarm.

It also tells me when it needs recharging. That can be awkward because it doesn't shut up until you do and you could be in the middle of M&S!

Yes, Scribbles I am sorry both for your loss and for misunderstanding your post.
Apologies also to DaisyAnne and I wish you a speedy recovery.

Scribbles

Yes, Grandmabatty, you are correct. I'm not here under false pretences!😀 The injury I spoke of happened in, I think, 2010. My husband died in 2020 and I now live alone.

There are all sorts of solo. Sometimes we may not be the only one in the home but we may be the only one able to keep things going.

Thank you for your kind wishes. AI tells me to expect 6 to 10 weeks to heal.

I'm sorry for your loss scribbles and sorry that your post was misconstrued

Yes, Grandmabatty, you are correct. I'm not here under false pretences!😀 The injury I spoke of happened in, I think, 2010. My husband died in 2020 and I now live alone.

Keeping quiet, scribbles wrote in the past tense. I assume she has lost her husband. I might be wrong though

So you're not on your own, Scribbles? You keep using the word 'we?'

Some years ago, I suffered a complicated wrist fracture and was in plaster for a couple of months, losing most of the use of my dominant hand. Generally, I'm an enthusiastic ironer but realised early on that it just wasn't going to get done.

It was summer so we were able to live in jeans, shorts or yoga pants with tees or polo shirts for the duration. A couple of times OH had to go somewhere in a "proper" shirt so, after washing they were tumble dried then hung in the hot water tank cupboard for any creases to drop out.

The things that troubled me most were pillow cases which just don't feel "right" if they're not ironed! However, they were tumble dried then carefully smoothed out, folded flat and put away. They emerged just fine and I don't think we lost any sleep because of this.😄

I think at times like this you just have to accept that wearing cotton skirts or anything else which needs pressing or ironing is off the agenda for a while and also understand that the world doesn't end if tea towels and pillowcases aren't ironed.

Alternatively, if being unironed really upsets you, look on Next Door or local FB groups for someone offering an ironing service.

Sorry to hear you’ve had an accident DaisyAnneReturns. I hope you’ll make a quick recovery. In the meantime try to rest and concentrate on feeling better and don’t fret about your ironing.

If it’s upsetting you that it can’t be done then there is likely to be a local ironing service who will collect your laundry and return it freshly ironed. You might find an ad in the local Facebook page.

Help! I'm unable to do my ironing after an accident. I will get back to normal but it would be useful to know if anyone has had this problem and what you have found to be the best way to deal with it.

Re hospital bag, DH recently had a night on “corridor care”, the lights are on all night, an eye mask is very useful, also earplugs as there are people walking and talking all night!

Thanks for all the comments about smart lights. It really takes away the "aloneness" of dealing with something new. I don't feel "lonely", indeed I can't imagine sharing my space now and I am lucky to have family and friends close by but there are moments when dealing with something new when it really helps to have another voice to discuss these things with.

I have Venetian blinds Cabbie21 and I tilt them when I’m away from home. There’s always going to be an element of risk but I feel burglars are going to be more attracted to a house which is in complete darkness.

I can’t get my head round setting lights to come on in the evening, because unless you have curtains or blinds you can also control, the lights will show that the house is likely to be empty.

Very interesting and useful thread. Thanks

Yes, I have a smart bulb in a lamp in the livingroom and another in my bedroom ceiling light.

I have the Hive app on my phone. I can set up a schedule on the app for the heating and/or smart lights to come on if I’m out. I can control them manually from my phone. For example if I’m at my son’s for the weekend I have the lights set to come on in the evening so the house looks occupied. I can control the heating in the same way.

I can also control them by speaking to my google mini speaker. Last night in bed I couldn’t reach my bedside lamp overnight due to a painful shoulder. So I was able to say google turn on bedroom light and on it popped. Likewise to turn it off.

The only mistake I made in the initial setting up was thinking all smart bulbs were the same and the first one I bought wasn’t compatible. I needed bulbs that specifically worked with my Hive app.

I had smart bulbs in my living room and they are very straightforward to sort out. The only reason I don't use them is because my new lamps are not compatible. I would set them to come on just before sunset

madeleine's idea obviously works for her group. I think I may end up referring back to some of these posts as we will all want different things at different stages.

Does anyone have any thoughts on Smart bulbs? My son has suggested I start our with one in each room which seems a good (safe) idea to me. However, I've never actually seen them in action. My first job will be to learn how to set up Alexa to switch them on and off!!!

We have got one of those stop cock plumbing gadgets. I said to my DH about this thread and he said to me, well we’ve got one already! I’m ashamed to say I didn’t know but it was here when we moved in apparently. Anyway, that is that problem solved. I think the idea about a hospital bag is good. My mum did this and it was really helpful when she got taken in.

A ready to go, basics hospital bag. Include 2 days of any meds you are on, spare phone charger

I got caught out arriving with noting except phone and quick thought had jammed my charger in my handbag.

No local family to bring stuff in and no one with a key, so am rethinking the whole thing.

PS, thanks for the plumbing tips, I couldn't have it put into the wall, but can you get some kind of extension thing?

So it's not a far reach under the far corner of the sink.

HelterSkelter1

Brilliant idea Madeleine45. How do you calculate the cost of fuel? Per mile? The same way as in company car expenses. Forty pence a mile was it some time back?

14p-16p per mile for petrol - according to Chat GPT.

Company car expenses are totally different (much more expensive) than fair cost system (ie petrol only). So very reasonable if, say, 4 people = 4p per mile each.

I remember that one cropping up years back when a work colleague and I decided to share a holiday in England together and used her car to drive to/from it and I was mentally geared-up to pay half the petrol cost and that's what we'd agreed (as two of us) and some bright spark suggested she charge me half of "company car expenses" instead (ie a lot more than my share of the petrol cost).

That holiday plan nearly collapsed on the spot - as it didnt feel very fair for her to make a profit from me.

Brilliant idea Madeleine45. How do you calculate the cost of fuel? Per mile? The same way as in company car expenses. Forty pence a mile was it some time back?

Great idea madeleine45.

I have done hospital car service for over ten years and also driven the little white bus up to Keld, so know my area very well and enjoy driving around to wherever I want to go. Now retired from that but still enjoy driving. So recently I was speaking to some women at a group I go to and two no longer drive, and another person can drive but no longer enjoys it. So I suggested that if it appealed to them I would be happy to drive to the coast or wherever, with the idea that we simply shared the cost of the fuel for the trip. I would pick them up from their homes, and we would get to Saltburn or Redcar for a trial outing, Then we would choose a time to meet back at the car and they would then be free to do whatever they wanted.

The idea was not to go around together but do our own thing and then go home together. It seemed a bit of an odd idea to a couple of the people , but we tried it and it has worked very well. We have each others phone number so that if it suddenly pours with rain or we feel ill or whatever we can change our plans or meet up earlier. But they are all now very enthusiastic about their day pleasing themselves, with no one else to think about. We are so used, over the years ,to suiting everyone else , that it can feel slightly odd having that time to yourself.

One day it began to pour with rain so we rang each other up, met back at the car and decamped to the next town to have a short look round a shopping centre and I went to an art gallery and then home. The car insurance is not affected as it is not done for "hire and reward", I have been quite happy to do the driving, and am planning to take a particular lady to a village she used to live in, which is off the beaten track soon. She is happy to pay for the fuel and to go at a time that suits her and will get there much quicker and cheaper than attempting to go by bus and then taxi for the last bit. I am happy to visit somewhere new and enjoy getting out.

I have been careful to only do this "as and when" . It is not meant to be a regular thing but I thought it might be something that other people might like to consider. I see it as a way that you can still be independant from your family and do your own thing in your own way, allowing you to still have that choice of how or when you might do something., and sharing the cost would also allow you to go to somewhere that you wanted to at a reasonable price. Havent tried going on a long distance trip yet and dont know if it would arise but it has certainly provided some pleasant day trips so far.