Jan Leeming said train your kids like dogs

Who is Jan Leeming?

AGAA4

Dogs and children need to be trained.
People who allow their children or dogs to misbehave are doing them no favours.
I have seen some unacceptable behaviour from adults in restaurants.
Clearly not trained.

Yes!

Golly, lots of sweeping statements here. Have you been home with all parents of under - fives in your town, Plevey? I'm amazed that you are so confident that "many of them don't have interaction around meal times at a table".
Polly, is every parent you see always on their phone?
Astonishingly, I do see parents talking to their children when I do nursery and school pick ups, and I don't know any family without a dining table.
Perhaps my town is different from all others.

All I ever see is kids walking around town with a parent, even under fives, eating sausage rolls, crisps or burgers. Many don't have interaction around meal times at a table.

Just been at a restaurant where table next to us changed customers twice, both times with little ones. All behaved sweetly. I liked them being there.

Shysal that is unfair. Women who have children do not have the monopoly on appropriate manners. If it were, we could go to Rose West for advice.

Does that mean they should also be kept on leads, left outside of supermarkets and muzzled and tagged when appropriate.

I do hope so.

🙏🤞🐕‍🦺🧘👍

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Bluebell

Tardiness means lateness!!

Children who don't know how to behave in a restaurant shouldn't be taken there. Not only are they are a pain but can cause accidents with trays etc being carried about. Perhaps if the parents put their phones away for a while and actually engaged with their children,things might improve. They seem to be able to do this in France but then they don't generally believe in the 'gentle parenting' culture. They should put them all in a room together and close the door while they crawl and run about and perhaps the parents will get a taste of what it is like for others.

monami

no she didnt, she said dogs are better behaved than kids, parents let them run wild in restaurants and pubs, they think everyone loves their offspring, well, we dont

Of course not everyone loves other people's offspring. The parents that think we should are no different to the owners of dogs who think everyone should love their pooch, no matter how smelly, noisy or otherwise badly behaved it is.

no she didnt, she said dogs are better behaved than kids, parents let them run wild in restaurants and pubs, they think everyone loves their offspring, well, we dont

I took my 3 children to a cafe when we moved house to Kent. Went to the counter and ordered everything including ice cream for desserts. They started throwing salt at each other, flicking ketchup etc generally causing a scene.Told to stop twice but still carried on. I stood up and made them leave with me. Went home, all sent to their rooms, served cheese sandwiches and water for tea in their rooms.
Yes, it was expensive as I had already paid for the cafe food.
BUT I could take them to any restaurant after that and they were very polite and well mannered. They knew the consequences of playing up in a cafe.

Sparklefizz

Twenty odd years ago there was a seaside cafe in Weston Super Mare that had a sign saying "Any children behaving badly will be put in chains and sold into slavery!"

It probably had to be removed!

Something similar local to me - "Badly behaved children will be given a kitten"! Gets the message across with humour, I thought.

Badly behaved children tend to grow up into badly behaved adults!

Neither children nor animals should be shouted at or struck, or told one thing one day, and something else the next day.

The day before a parents' and teachers' evening one eleven year old said to me, "Could you tell our parents not to chop and change their minds about what we may or may not do, all the time, but to be more like you? When you say, no, I am sorry, you may not do that, we know you mean it and that someone else won't be allowed to do it tomorrow."

I thanked her for the compliment but answered that I could not tell her or anyone else's parents what they should do, but I would see if I could find a tactful way of hinting about what she had just said.

Forty years of teaching showed me very clearly, that children appreciate a few sensible rules that are kept to and that apply to everyone.
However, teaching good manners or instituting rules are two-way streets. On one occasion a pupil said to me, "You will need to shout if you want the gang to hear you" She dissolved into a fit of giggles when I replied, "Don't you think I would feel a complete idiot, shouting Be quiet? Quite apart from the fact that I was taught it is rude to shout at people."

I'm with Jan. So many times when out whether for just a coffee or a meal the atmoshere is disrupted by children wandering or running sbout or yelling at one another. Even when the accompanying adult has called for them to "behave" they just continue. The children know nothing will happen as adults are too busy yapping or scrolling their phone to actually get up and make child sit and behave, just too much work these days.

Allira

Tuliptree

Goodness me - the absolute breathtaking cheek of JL. Grumbling, ranting, venting - perhaps she should join GN 😂😂😂

😂😂😂

Ps perhaps she has!!

Tuliptree

Goodness me - the absolute breathtaking cheek of JL. Grumbling, ranting, venting - perhaps she should join GN 😂😂😂

😂😂😂

How true. I love sitting in the garden (in the summer!!) and listening to the delighted sounds or children playing. What I do not enjoy is shouting and screaming and insanely barking dogs. Makes me want to get the water cannon out!

Tuliptree

Goodness me - the absolute breathtaking cheek of JL. Grumbling, ranting, venting - perhaps she should join GN 😂😂😂

😂😂

Goodness me - the absolute breathtaking cheek of JL. Grumbling, ranting, venting - perhaps she should join GN 😂😂😂

I have not seen the specific comment by Jan Leeming, but it is something that tends to be quite british in style. Having lived abroad and taken a child from the age of 2 to Syria , and other countries, I found that the two way level of acceptance far better than in Britian. While he was young, if we went to a restaurant I would choose a table which I could sort of block him in, so that he needed to pass me to get to other tables. But that was the only thing I needed to do. I always carried small notebooks , little games etc ., to keep him occupied if he had finished his food and needed to stay there. So that was my side of the "bargain"

On the other hand, I was able to get firstly , when he was very little, a plate so that I could give hims something from my choice. Once he was a little older he was offered a half portion of anything that was on the menu, which did NOT include chicken nuggets or fish fingers. He was treated politely and was part of the party, not someone fed the same boring - and not very healthy - food and expected to sit for a long time while the adults sat and drank or whatever.

On the continent I found cafes and restaurants expected to have the whole family and were relaxed about it. There were many times that the owners or the staff offered to take him and play with him, whilst we had coffee. The atmosphere was welcoming and relaxed, no feeling that I had to apologise for even having my child with me, however well behaved he was.
That atmosphere meant that he grew up understanding the way to behave , and he learnt many things about all sorts of food and drink.

How much you paid for the food you ate did not dictate who was able to be there. There have been many loud and rowdy people at tables close to ours, whose manners were far worse than at our table I can assure you. My son now has a son of his own who is taken to any restaurant or cafe , they choose. Feeling that this is normal and natural is part of growing up and learning how to be in public. But I do accept it can be very difficult for owners and staff to work out how to deal with badly behaved customers.

I accept that in several places I know, there are certain families who staff are told to tell them that they are full and have no vacancies , and it is understandable when those particular people not only caused problems but lost them other clients too. You cant blame them as there seems little other options open to owners .

So whilst I can understand an individual getting upset or annoyed by what they have planned to be a special occasion, not turning out to be what they wanted; they do need to remember that they did not book the complete restaurant for themselves , and whilst they could expect reasonable behaviour from other people, if you want something to be just as you want it, then you need to plan for this special occasion to be in your control, so having someone come in and cook for you, or make less assumptions as to how other people will act. I do think that these days people seem to think that they are entitled to do just what they want, without regard to others, and are more selfish than in the past.

Personally I was brought up to the old adage of do as you would be done by, not grab what you can and go hang to the rest . But I do put part of that down to the Thatcher reign where she taught people to put self first, but that is just my own thoughts.

I think this ex newsreader, (and she wasn’t a very good one,) just craves publicity. Who called the press in the first place, do we know? Silly woman.

Paperbackwriter

She hasn't stopped grumbling ever since, on Twitter. She's had a go at mothers wheeling buggies while on their phones, at parents on public transport - she's on a Grumble Roll!

Oh goody goody!

Have a good rant, Jan!! 😁

I read her article about going out for a meal too felt a lot of sympathy, I can never understand how parents can ignore their childrens' bad behaviour.
If we go somewhere and have this problem we always ask to be moved to a quiet table or another room and in most cases the staff will do this, or sometimes they will move the noisy family instead - which often does not go down well!
I have had occasions when other people's children ended up underneath our table or tripping up the waiting staff, and restaurant management usually do take action on this.
We take our own grandchildren out regularly but they know not to run around or make a noise. My daughter always takes things for them to do if they get bored.

She hasn't stopped grumbling ever since, on Twitter. She's had a go at mothers wheeling buggies while on their phones, at parents on public transport - she's on a Grumble Roll!