Jan Leeming said train your kids like dogs

theworriedwell

Maybe it's the judgement before they utter a sound that's the problem? I remember me as an 18 year old mum getting on a coach with baby who was nearly a year old. I could hear the tuts and moans. He was an angel and one of the moaners approached as we were getting off to congratulate me on his behaviour.

I ignored her, if I'd told her what I thought of her behaviour she wouldn't have been happy.

I really do think that’s a different type of situation and I guess you were not in a position to have, for example, your own taxi for the journey? I'm admit I’m guilty as charged - if I were in a decent restaurant in the UK I would sigh if a family with young children came in. I call it experience not prejudice

GrannyGravy13

We took our children to all types of restaurants and hotels from an early age, they now take their own children to all types of restaurants.

They know how to behave and are far better behaved than some adults.

Yes, I agree it is lovely to see well behaved children in restaurants, but if you go to a upmarket restaurant, where children are allowed by parents to run around or scream, they spoil the experience for other people.
I don't understand why the parents don't stop them from running around, or if they scream take them out.

50 years ago, we took our two boys to see the sights in London as a 'treat', ending up at a pleasant restaurant, where the children were far too tired to make pests of themselves, we were about to take our leave when the chef appeared to say farewell and our three-year-old addressed him: 'Thank you for a very nice dinner,' completely unprompted. His own two sons have always had good table manners and I don't think their mum can take all the credit!

Maybe it's the judgement before they utter a sound that's the problem? I remember me as an 18 year old mum getting on a coach with baby who was nearly a year old. I could hear the tuts and moans. He was an angel and one of the moaners approached as we were getting off to congratulate me on his behaviour.

I ignored her, if I'd told her what I thought of her behaviour she wouldn't have been happy.

ViceVersa

Exactly. It's not about NOT wanting children to be in restaurants. It's about the behaviour of some of those children - that's the difference.

Exactly this. I remember once in France in a small restaurant quite late in the evening, a French family filed past our table on their way out. I was amazed to see it included 2 young children (5/7 ish) whose presence we had been totally unaware of all evening

Exactly. It's not about NOT wanting children to be in restaurants. It's about the behaviour of some of those children - that's the difference.

X post Tuliptree

Whitewavemark2

Are we the only country in Europe that has this strange attitude about children?

They seem to be on a par with dogs if you look at the comments about dogs in restaurants thread. Much the same comments.

Do French children hurtle around restaurants, getting in the way and annoying everyone?

Or do they sit, chat and eat with their families?

Whitewavemark2

Are we the only country in Europe that has this strange attitude about children?

They seem to be on a par with dogs if you look at the comments about dogs in restaurants thread. Much the same comments.

What’s strange about wanting to enjoy a decent meal in peace and quiet? I’ve eaten out over 50 years in France in all levels of restaurants and never experienced a badly behaved child. Maybe the real question is why are there more badly behaved children in the UK?

Are we the only country in Europe that has this strange attitude about children?

They seem to be on a par with dogs if you look at the comments about dogs in restaurants thread. Much the same comments.

GrannyGravy13

We took our children to all types of restaurants and hotels from an early age, they now take their own children to all types of restaurants.

They know how to behave and are far better behaved than some adults.

Exactly so. Ours are confident in ordering food and drinks. We rake crayons, paper and increasingly screens if we are likely to stay and chat a while

My three children were all well behaved but I have had to tolerate someone else’s brats who were so badly behave that it has ruined out time out. Please do not blame the restaurants or pubs - it is all down to the parents.

In many ways, I understand her point.
In several occasions I have seen parents almost at the mercy of their children, pleading with them to behave.

All this 'please' business and long winded explanations as to why they shouldn't behave atrociously is counter productive in this age of ' gentle parenting'.

No child was ever damaged by a sharp " Stop that and sit down. NOW! " if their family home was loving and supportive.

Children need to learn at a young age about unacceptable behaviour and a parent giving them the choice as to whether they obey or not is doing the child, and society, no favours.

Our 3 year old GS went through a difficult stage and could start misbehaving when in public areas, but a parent would remove him and take him to a quiet space to calm down, if in a restaurant one of them would take him outside. He is now fine. The problem is when parents insist upon training their toddlers whilst in a public space, deliberately ignoring the child’s frantic cries or walking away saying stuff like ‘ok mummy/daddy is going home now’ whilst the toddler writhes on the floor screaming. This might be part of a toddler training project but other members of the public don’t want to be lumbered with the ear splitting results. Keep toddler training for at home or in a quiet space away from people who have ears.

Boz

Usually parents stick their mobiles showing cartoons on the table in front of their kids and said kids are as good as gold.

Some child-friendly restaurants/pubs used to have colouring pencils, crayons and pictures to colour in which would keep children happy when they weren't actually eating.

Usually parents stick their mobiles showing cartoons on the table in front of their kids and said kids are as good as gold.

theworriedwell

I've been annoyed by loud often drunk adults more often than by children. I'd be happy to breathalyse people before they are
seated and no alcohol supplied with meals. Some people might object but as a teetotaller I'm fed up of drunks.

I can honestly say that I have not been annoyed in an upmarket restaurant by. the behaviour of adults. But I agree that in some restaurants there is adult behaviour that leaves much to be desired

I've been annoyed by loud often drunk adults more often than by children. I'd be happy to breathalyse people before they are
seated and no alcohol supplied with meals. Some people might object but as a teetotaller I'm fed up of drunks.

PS when out two grandsons, now 13 and 15, came out to a cafe with us we always took toy cars and games for the to play with. Recently we were out with them for lunch and our eldest grandson asked DH for something to occupy them whilst waiting for food. We got out a box of pick a stick and they played happily. 👍

HelterSkelter1

Tuliptree. Yes I agree that good does come from celebrities bringing to light on SM the poor treatment the disabled have at the hands of large corporations such as airlines.

But to identify a restaurant and possibly the day, I haven't read all the link, is unnecessary and also has probably identified the family and child and leads to a frenzy of criticism about children and the older generation. It's all so clickbait and divisive.
If she did mention it to the manager and had little sympathy then she must take her business elsewhere.

Why on earth should she not criticise the restaurant on SM? No one has actually accused her of lying. If I lived in that area, I’d be grateful to know about that restaurant’s toleration of noisy children and avoid it. The mother who erroneously thought it was her was quite happy to come forward and be interviewed on national radio. The idea that she’x behaved badly by criticising what happened and not the parents of the children/ restaurant is verging on the ludicrous.

I’m with Jan. However well behaved children are ok too.

I believe one of the 4 children was 1 year old, so imo far too young to go to a restaurant.

If they're running around, annoying other people, or shouting noisily all the way through the meal, they'll probably not digest it then be sick.
Then blame the chef.

Tuliptree. Yes I agree that good does come from celebrities bringing to light on SM the poor treatment the disabled have at the hands of large corporations such as airlines.

But to identify a restaurant and possibly the day, I haven't read all the link, is unnecessary and also has probably identified the family and child and leads to a frenzy of criticism about children and the older generation. It's all so clickbait and divisive.
If she did mention it to the manager and had little sympathy then she must take her business elsewhere.

And children’s menus usually go up yo age 12 and are actually can be eaten by well behaved children

Visgir1

I read this last week and the response from the Children mother.
Jan Leeming just should have asked to move her table?
It was a Lunch time meal the children were under 5's and the restaurant has a children's menu so they welcome children. Perhaps she needs check out the menu next time she goes out as that's a big clue that children are welcome.

Jan Leeming just should have asked to move her table?

Unbelievable!!
Goodness, how entitled some of these young parents are!

An 84 year old should have to move because they want to sit where they like and allow their children to be disruptive!