Outlook in our eighties?

My dad died in September he was 98.
Up until the last few weeks he still walked about two miles a day even with bone and prostrate cancer diagnosed in late 2023. He was amazing always dressed smartly . Enjoying conversation, wrote a lot of stuff down to talk to everyone about. Loved a haircut music and church .

I think what I take away is: eat well, Exercise v gently, be interested in the world, socialise and do something brain active like crossword until you can’t.

My mum went into a nursing home last week she has confabulation. She had to leave her forever home and thinks she’s independent enough to live there which even with a lot of care she’s not.
She’s 90 in April. She’s v muddled but can hold a conversation albeit mainly full of false information. 🥴.
She thinks she’s doing everything she used to.
She has organ failure in most areas and is on 100% oxygen .
Her life was mainly sedentary, would never do mental gymnastics, barely ate, wouldn’t drink much liquid and refused to use her oxygen until last year.
She had a diet of senokot, immodium and paracetamol.
She is v susceptible to sepsis and falls.
However up until she was 88 was working as a psychotherapist and lecturer.
She’s had three cancers and three of their children died: my brother from mnd 50, my sister from cancer 49 and my other brother aged 2 from brain damage .

So I’m proud of them both but will try and live by dad’s regime not mum’s. I do seated yoga Pilates and strength exercise every week plus singing . I had a stroke in 2018 and get tired easily. I where a fitness watch to monitor my heart rate this is a great indicator of whether you pushing too hard. My pulse is usually 75 and I try and keep it mainly under 80 but obv occasionally I let it go to 100 for tiny periods.
I had my stroke as I was constantly pushing through at 100-120 most of the day .

I'm over 80 and interested in what these two therapists are doing
www.carolynmumby.com/third-act

81 last Christmas. I do a little more of some things and less of others. We have a very large garden , and that takes a lot of time. But DD and her husband live near so they help out. DH has very dodgy knees and the pain tires him quickly. I cook from scratch every day and do lots of batch cooking, and I write for a few hours every day.In short we do what we can when we can.if we can’t we’ll get someone else to do it.

My grandma was, active and healthy until she got dementia at 97, she even attempted to build a garden shed the summer before she was diagnosed.
She was originally from the sticks of Ireland so was born capable of many things lol my grandad worked away but died in his 50s so she had to do everything from looking after 5 kids to building a bloody garage. She was 4ft 7 but as strong as a man, she could build sheds and garages, she helped my grandad rebuild half their house.
She always said living to over 100 was common in her family and she intended to keep it up and that stopping doing the things she did would mean giving up. So she didn't stop! In the care home for her last few months was when she gave up because she lost her spark and didn't have a garden to tend (hers was huge and took a lot of care). We all knew she'd die rapidly once there simply because it was giving up.

Also my mum is 84 and pretty much the same, she's very active, fairly healthy and I believe will live to a ripe old age... And dementia will be what gets her.

Yesterday I asked Google translate for a Latin version of my motto:

Dum possum, facio

Which, for those of you who have forgotten any Latin they ever knew, means, while I can, I do. And that's how I try to live.

Cant do as much now at 81 as I did a few years ago. Each day is taken as it comes. A rough plan of what I would like to do then see how it goes. Refuse to go out if it is cold & wet as that aggravates the Rheumatoid arthritis. So fairly lazy with a good book & music. No point in running ragged as my Nan said. If I wake up tomorrow still here then thanks to whoever/whatever has allowed it. See what the day brings! Do hope to go on a bit longer as I want to see my Grandchildren grow into the people they will become. Also want to equal if not beat my lovely Nan who in spite of cancer mid 80’s carried on to nearly 90 in pretty good health.

I am 83 in a couple of weeks. The maternal side of my family are long living. I had a great Aunt who reached 102, great uncles in their 90's, an aunt who reached 100 and others all reaching their late 80's. Years ago I smiled when my grandmother said all the possessions and money you have are no use if you don't have good health.
I now know what she meant having had to give up driving because of worsening sight and having very poor mobility.
My husband is a few years older than I am and heading towards giving up driving. I am dreading it but we live in a lovely part of the country and I have my scooter. Maybe they make tandem scooters

81 last birthday, severe arthritis in my knees and hands, care for husband who has Alzheimers, this year I will need to get help with the garden, I gave up driving a couple of years ago, I just do what I feel like doing, I do get tired very easily, ...oh , and I do like a glass of wine at night..

My health took an unexpected plunge this year. Last February I was hiking (gently) in Malta. Now I am happy with a stroll around the little town park.

And that is the thing really. I am happy with it. It’s a lovely place down by the river.

I’ve found other activities too that I wouldn’t have given time to before. I’ve enrolled on an Appreciating Art course and we spend two hours ( two hours!) really looking at two or three paintings, leaning and discussing. It’s such a treat to just stop and focus.

And I managed an hour at my allotment yesterday. I had to take it easy for the rest of the day, but how I enjoyed that hour!

It is true I think that the loss of some things, even health, can open the door to the gain of others.

Although I can’t think of anything positive to say about dementia I must admit. 🙁

Yes. 80 this year.

Life is for living, and I go with the flow according to my energy levels. But lots planned for the summer as well as gardening to do.

Just in from moving a shrub - puff pant - come in for coffee and a break.

Changing the bed and then hair appointment plus getting new passport photos this afternoon.

An easy dinner this evening - maybe a ready made from M&S.

I pace myself much more now. Some days my energy is low, so I lounge around - reading, GN or some crafty stuff. But other days. I’m whizzing.

I’m 86. I have heart failure and mobility issues, but these don’t greatly affect my day-to-day life. I don’t make plans, but just enjoy what I can. Every day is a bonus. I live in a retirement flat, with a bit of help.

Modern communications are wonderful, so although my ‘children’ and grandchildren live 200 miles away, we are constantly in touch.

When I allow myself to think about it, I am afraid of living too long, of becoming more helpless. I’m hoping the heart failure will prevent that!

I haven't reached my 80s - and don't know if I will, of course. However, I'm giving up some of the things I've been very involved with for the last couple of decades because they no longer bring me the same pleasure.

I feel that, no matter how much we can do, or want to do, the important thing is to enjoy life as much as posssible.

Cabbie21 I know I am now in the Killing fields, age wise, but my health is good, sadly, unlike DH, and I am still fit enough to help DD move 17 varied sized paving slabs three times (into the car, out of the car and through the house to the garden) at the weekend, although my aching hips kept me awake on Saturday night.

Looking at it objectively, my chances of living as long as my father are good, but you never know. My sister died in a road accident aged 45, so did an uncle weeks ahead of his 90th birthday, having just been given a completely clean bill of health and told he was good to make his century.

What I have found is that moving house, downsizing slightly. I look at my possessions with a much shorter time frame. Will I use/need/ccomsume this in the next ten years, whereas in the past I would look at things with a longer time span, things like childrens toys, kept with the vague feeling i might have grandchildren some day. I may have great grandchildren some day, but I am unlikely to live to see it, so all the childrens toys went out.

I know what is ahead of me, but I do not know when where or how, so I do not waste precious time worrying about it. Just live and enjoy what time is left, however short or long.

I’ll be 80 later this year. Since I retired I’ve had various health problems which have left me with very unstable energy levels. However I’m still as active as possible, look after my health as well as I can and, as M0nica says, leave the rest in the lap of the gods.

Thanks MOnica. My Mum lived to 92, my father was 86. So my genes are good. I’m past decorating now ( creaking knees) and don’t do a lot of walking, but I eat fairly healthily, with a few indulgences.
Do you just carry on without thought of what lies ahead, as if you were 30 years younger?

I too am in my 80s and like you I am in reasonable health and physically uite healthy, but in my case I can look up my family.

My father lived to 92 and until the last few months was physically fit, looking after house and garden, with a little bought-in help, driving and active on the committee of several local organisations. He had angina for the last 10 years or so of his life, but it did not cause him many problems. My mother lived to 85, she had atrial fibrillation.

I am free from heart disease. I had a scan last year that told me that my heart was 'reassuringly strong'. I have first cousins, around my age, all still going strong - we meet up once a year.

So I am leaving it all in the lap of the Gods. I look after myself, eat wisely, do Tai Chi and a lot of walking and I am currently decorating our new home.