Pretty privilege

It can work both ways especially if the person in question is slim petite and blonde. My DD has a first class degree and she worked successfully as a freelance for a few years before deciding to do a PGCE course. She also did a bit of modelling including a catwalk fashion show for a well known range of petite clothing.

On the first day of her PGCE course she met her pastoral mentor, a man, for the first time. He took one look at her and asked her if she felt she was "up to it academically and temperamentally." This was before any discussion had taken place.

She even, briefly, had a boyfriend who demanded to see all her certificates before he believed that she had more and better qualifications than he had.

I discovered this when I was in the sixth form and my best friend Linda was a girl with serious good looks. Blonde, blue eyed, great figure. I was more or less invisible wherever we went (mouse brown hair, grey green eyes and podgy). I was shy and very happy to let her take centre stage, but I was amazed that she was treated so well.

Biscuitmuncher

Labradora how on earth was my question ragebait? Have I touched a nerve?

You probably did touch a nerve , Biscuitmuncher , as there are a selection of topics that seriously get my goat.
To be very clear however there is nothing whatsoever intrinsically improper or offensive about your thread title.
Just my reaction to the modern use of the word "privilege".😊😊💐

😂

My mother was stunning ( I take after my dad 🫣) she used to get asked if she was Grace Kelly. She said it was a curse sometimes as because you can pick and choose who you want to be with by the time you’ve decided all the good ones are gone ( poor dad 😂).

Yes most definitely. I miss the attention of being young and all that goes with that. My DD and DGD are both so gorgeous and I love that.

It's the way of the world really. Once you are older it's a case of looking after whatever you have.

I suppose, Lilyflower, that those with a great wit and personality will only get a chance to shine after getting a job/ having the conversations/ becoming known to someone through a friend or whatever.. The "pretty" ones get those opportunities more regularly.
That's maybe all it is.

It still means you can be pretty and also pretty boring - but of course you can be unattractive and pretty boring too!
🤣

Yes, Oreo the whole thing is unfair but the jobs side seems really terrible - as often the physically more conventionally "attractive" person may well not be the best for the job.

I hate the idea of people losing out like that.

NotSpaghetti

No. It's what (many) people do.
There are accademic papers on it.
And the reverse.

You’re right, and I once heard a radio discussion about it.Both men and women, and boys and girls too have a much easier ride if attractive.People being kinder to them, doing things for them unasked, better luck with job interviews and being promoted.

My DD has continued to be glamorous. This is fine now but when she was a young girl she used to have the nickname, 'Barbie' or, worse, 'Jailbait'!

Of course "pretty privilege" exists. A friend is 60, very tall, slim and extremely attractive with thick, long, blonde hair. I love going anywhere with her although I stand in her shadow, literally. Men rush to help her, she gets served quickly at the bar and in restaurants and we always seem to get to the front of any queue with ease. She's also kind, generous and just a little bit dizzy which makes her fun too. I'm not the slightest bit in envy of her as she's had an "interesting" life but I would like to be a bit taller. Looks don't insulate people from life's disappointments and tragedies but it can smooth over some of the irritations.

jocork

My DGD is blonde and pretty with huge blue eyes. I notice how much attention she gets from strangers and hope that it doesn't mean the wrong sort of men being attracted to her when she's older. She's far too young for it to be a problem at the moment as she will be only 3 next month. At least she won't outshine a less pretty sister as she has 2 brothers as of this week!
I've always been plain and realise one has to try harder if thst is the case. Sadly many people are very shallow so we have to work much harder to get fair treatment.

This is always the worry. DGD is 18 now but she has what was once called a womanly figure, Marilyn Monroe, 1950s starlet shape, natural hour glass shape. She acuired this adult shape from the start of puberty, about 13, and her mother said she found men were looking at DGD, essentally still a child, in that sort of way when she was barely a teenager and she found it both disconseerting and worrying. I noticed it too when they came to stay

As I said she is now 18, an assured you woman, whose body shape matches her age, so it is now no more a problem than for other girls her age. But it can be a worry

There is very much a ‘pretty privilege’ operating and always has been. I am no beauty, probably about a 6 and a half or 7 but I have used other means to resist being socially invisible. Those who can project intelligence, wit, a pleasing personality and are interested in the world and others have a lot to offer and generally are not overlooked. There are merit and rewards in making the best of what nature has given you.

If you look as if you have given up on the world, the world will give up on you.

My DGD is blonde and pretty with huge blue eyes. I notice how much attention she gets from strangers and hope that it doesn't mean the wrong sort of men being attracted to her when she's older. She's far too young for it to be a problem at the moment as she will be only 3 next month. At least she won't outshine a less pretty sister as she has 2 brothers as of this week!
I've always been plain and realise one has to try harder if thst is the case. Sadly many people are very shallow so we have to work much harder to get fair treatment.

So she gets their attention first,then goes in for the kill....😉

Yes i have seen this with one dd who is very charming and pretty and also clever.

Labradora how on earth was my question ragebait? Have I touched a nerve?

I don't know why some folk don't appreciate their 'cloak of invisibility'. It gives you peace, and freedom to be yourself.
If we need attention, we have 'the voice'.

My DH is incredibly handsome and people often talk to him for ages before they even notice I'm there! Eventually they get bored though and discover I am hilarious despite being fairly ugly.

Yes, I benefitted from it too but it had its downsides. Funnily enough, I think some men were intimidated. Not any more, haha! Invisible.

Of course it does

Biscuitmuncher - this is called the halo effect, the reverse being the horn effect. Children learn about this very early on in their lives just by watching their role models' behaviour. For example, the pretty kid in class usually gets a better reception from the teacher than the not so pretty and for this reason if the class collectively wants something - like to go home early because it's snowing, they vote the pretty child to be the one to ask. The good looks create the basic thought in the observer (teacher) that the child is also good and therefore, to be rewarded. Conversely, the unwashed child in the drab clothes is considered to be less 'good' and less able, and less worthy - this is the horn effect. This is fundamental social-psychology and unfortunately it plays into much social interaction. In the three decades when I was an academic working in a university, it became appropriate to remove students' photographs from their cvs when they were applying for internships or graduate jobs for this very reason. However, many companies overseas wanted not only a full- face photo but also a full-length one of the student in business clothing because for them company reputation was not only tied in with the competence and qualifications of their employees but also their beauty!

Youngerthanspringtime

Oh so that's why I get ignored!

Aww! sure not.

In business, I found that I was ignored for being female, but my very pretty colleague was listened to. I became a little more forceful. However, when it came to promotion, she was never considered. Being taller I think helped, because I could make eye contact

But one of my sisters has amazing vitality and has always attracted loads of attention. At work, she got favours and promotions above prettier colleagues.

I had a stunningly beautiful workplace friend who actually found it almost a nuisance. She said that people didn't listen to what she said because they just looked at her. But she certainly got to places I never did.
What about beautiful men?