Favourite expressions you use a lot (lighthearted)

'she's all fur coat and no knickers' (mum's favourite)

NotSpaghetti

"A poke in the eye with a sharp stick" is the variant I inherited.

This is the first time I've really thought about it!

Mine was ‘ Better than a wasp ( pronounced ‘wahsp’ doon your knickers)
My granny wasn’t as polite as JackyB’s, ‘ Six o’ clock, the fleet’s in, and no’ a hoor painted’
She also described herself like ‘a hoor at a flittin’ ‘ if she was not properly groomed ( which never happened!)
Something which happened a long time ago happened ‘ before God left Kilmarnock’

A few of my favourites, mostly said to children, are
Hard lines ( as the man said when he fell off the train)
It’ll not be long now ( as the monkey said when the train ran over its tail)
Something very annoying is ‘enough to make a dog bite its father’
Something is ‘in two halfs, like the Pope’s bum’
A sore tummy is ‘ a pain in your pinny, right through to your frock’

And many,many more

Mine is an all purpose go to - sadly unprintable here!

It can express surprise, horror, or even approval, simply by altering the tone in which it’s said. Often muttered under my breath when frustrated too.

I can't remember the name of .......

Brass monkey weather
He/she has a brass neck
Brassed off

Not sure what it is with ‘brass’ in Lancashire where I was raised.

Also - slightly rude - ‘he/she has a face like a tup’s arse’ a tup is a ram.

Sallywally1 Your granny had a hilarious sense of humour by the sound of it!

All of your replies have had me in fits of laughter!

One I use all the time is: "It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a dartboard!"

And in summer I use ''It's hot enough to melt the sun!''

“Were you born in a barn?” (Referring to anyone leaving a door open and letting the cold in).

“You make a better door than a window”, said to someone blocking the light.

“It’s better than being slapped in the face with a wet fish”, (same meaning as the poke in the eye with a stick, I think).

Many of the others mentioned I’ve heard of, too.

My DM used to say “I cannot be doing with that” about many thing haha

Each to their own
Back in the day
You’re a long time dead

And a couple I cannot possibly put on here as I’d be banned for life!

"Actions speak louder than words"

My mother used to say we were like 'Casey's Court.'

No pockets in a shroud! Used to justify any expenditure which might be deemed unnecessary.

'Put the big light off, it's like Blackpool Illuminations in here!'

And not forgetting my mum’s favourite ‘it’s like Fred Karno’s circus’

How long is a piece of string
We’re a long time dead
You don’t get owt for nowt
What a bundle of bothers

Another one I grew up with. ‘I love lumpy custard!’ Derivation unknown but said of anyone who was being a doomsayer. Somehow it’s stuck.

Should proof read and my phone should stop getting above itself.

'To thine own self be true' obviously.

It's 'marra te bonny. ' This was a favourite saying of my mother. It means six of one and half a dozen of the other, or, 'it doesn't really matter.'

Also, 'it's like Piccadilly Circus' when complaining about the amount of traffic.

You're a long time dead.

Use a bit of elbow grease.

'To think own self be true' currently as the grandchildren all seem to having to choose 'options' of one sort or another.

It’s a bit of a curate’s egg.
One volunteer is better than ten pressed men (one of my late mum’s sayings which I like).
It never rains but it pours.
“Does it matter?”
Where there’s a Will there’s a relative (another of mum’s).

Better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick.

Onwards and upwards.

C'est la vie

Two from my parents.

It will all come out in the wash

Worse things happen at sea

Ey up.

It’s like Paddy’s market in here.

Nowt as queer as folk.

My Nanna used to say "On dear, six o'clock and no baby washed!" , meaning that it was getting late.

My DGD, whose first language isn't English, pointed out that I say "Fair enough" a lot.