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Would you tell her?

(110 Posts)
Dontcallmelove Tue 31-Mar-26 11:43:35

I have a friend, who at 70 is wearing mini skirts. She is very thin and her legs are slim but not ‘nice’. She looks older than 70 and can really wear some clothes well but she has decided she wants to update her style and some of the clothes she has been buying look awful and inappropriate on her as she can’t carry the style off that well. I think her 32 yo DiL has been advising her. Normally I go with a do what you want to do attitude but people are commenting on how silly she looks. I’m torn between telling her, gently, that maybe the mini skirts are now dated, or ignoring the comments. She would be really upset if she heard any of them.

cc Wed 01-Apr-26 15:31:44

I have a woman acquaintance locally who dresses in very "young" clothes though I'm guessing she's at least into her 70's. It isn't so much the short skirts, more bright gathered skirts with multicoloured clashing tops and so on. She actually doesn't look nearly as bad as you'd imagine, and I wouldn't dream of saying anything.

Jojo1950 Wed 01-Apr-26 15:11:20

Say nothing but I wouldn’t go out with her!

Cossy Wed 01-Apr-26 15:05:23

Kate1949

It wouldn't bother me if someone else forgot their knickers on or has their boobs showing. Why would it? As mentioned above, my friend's boobs are always well and truly out. Her business not mine.

It wouldn’t bother me either, was just thinking about how the person who might do this might feel grin

Kate1949 Wed 01-Apr-26 14:51:44

It wouldn't bother me if someone else forgot their knickers on or has their boobs showing. Why would it? As mentioned above, my friend's boobs are always well and truly out. Her business not mine.

LemonJam Wed 01-Apr-26 14:11:50

Say nothing- don't judge. It's entirely up to your friend how she chooses to dress. Her own opinion is all that matters- not yours, or anyone else's.

Forget clothes and value your friend and your friendship.

Norah Wed 01-Apr-26 13:17:04

Say nothing.

Allira Wed 01-Apr-26 13:14:51

henetha

Absolutely not say anything. We should all wear just what we want to, regardless of what others think.
I wouldn't wear a mini skirt, but I have truly horrible legs with puffy knees. But I do wear denim, bright clashing colours frequently, lots of things which cause some to need a lie down to recover from. grin

😂😂😂

I'll wear my sunglasses when I come to visit, henetha 😎

HelterSkelter1 Wed 01-Apr-26 12:21:55

Sorry my post above should read Daphne Selfe not Diana. That was my error not auto correcr.

Smileless2012 Wed 01-Apr-26 12:19:21

No, I wouldn't say anything.

Cossy Wed 01-Apr-26 12:05:46

Aely

"When I am an old woman I shall wear purple / With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me."

And why shouldn't she?

She is an adult and so long as she doesn't go out in public wearing a baby-doll nighty and no knickers it is nobody's business but hers unless, of course, she asks for your opinion.

I adore that poem, and I too shall follow it!!

Cossy Wed 01-Apr-26 12:04:21

Sago

I would comment when she dresses appropriately and really compliment her, stay quiet when she looks grim!

Yes!

I would add it’s absolutely no one’s business how any other human dresses, so unless she is forgetting to put her knickers on or her boobs are showing, back off!

Dontcallmelove Wed 01-Apr-26 12:02:10

Ladies, please don’t start a war over this. My question came from concern about my friend hearing these comments. Most of us reach a time when we feel we need a bit of a style reset. We can wear what we want and how we want to, so long as we have the personality to bat off the comments, if we feel the need to.

Dontcallmelove Wed 01-Apr-26 11:57:22

1960srelic

Have you thought about going clothes shopping with her? Both of you buying clothes? Then you could ask each other's opinion... Mind you, you might be the one who ends up in mini-skirts, so perhaps better not.....

I didn’t wear mini skirts in the 60s or 70s! Long legs but ‘knock kneed”. grin

MT62 Wed 01-Apr-26 11:50:37

paddyann54

*GRan22boys*”We,re not judgemental YOU are .
Why don’t as my gd says you just do you and let everyone else do their lives their looks their dress sense THEIR way?
What horrible small minded people this site throws up!
My late mother judged me all her life ….I was fat when I was a size 8 ,left me with a lifelong food issue
I have no intention of some old biddy telling me I can’t have long hair over a certain age….that was another of my mother’s moans.
My mother was born well over a hundred years ago so at least her excuse for being judgmental was that she did come from a different time.
I despair at women like you .

I didn’t say I wasn’t judgemental, I just try not to be.
Get where you are coming from as my mum can be quite critical of my weight.
But my argument is it was my sister’s funeral, & should have been a day for her. Not for this attention seeking friend of mine.
Usually I don’t give a dam how ridiculous she looks as I don’t tend to be in her circle.

HelterSkelter1 Wed 01-Apr-26 11:50:25

Went back into modelling. Not into back modelling. I suppose some models just model their back as some are hand models!

HelterSkelter1 Wed 01-Apr-26 11:48:59

I read this morning the obituary of Diana Selfe who went into back modelling as a widow in her 70s and has just this Mzrch died at 97. Her beautiful waist length silver hair was a photographers dream. Her clothes were amazing as was her slim figure and high cheek bones. And most of all she seemed to be a lovely person. She seemed to be ageless and so stylish.
But the main thing as she said herself was she didnt try to look young or younger. She just looked stunning as herself. I dont know when she last modelled but into her 90s I think.
She of course would have had the very best fashion and makeup advice.

Not that all this info helps OP, but I was thinking about Diana S this morning and her long long hair and when I Googled her found she had died on 26 March.

henetha Wed 01-Apr-26 11:48:01

Absolutely not say anything. We should all wear just what we want to, regardless of what others think.
I wouldn't wear a mini skirt, but I have truly horrible legs with puffy knees. But I do wear denim, bright clashing colours frequently, lots of things which cause some to need a lie down to recover from. grin

Tenko Wed 01-Apr-26 11:28:36

I wouldn’t say anything, she’s an adult , she can wear what she wants . Maybe she’s proud of her slim legs .
I don’t have hard and fast rules for dressing . I wear what I feel comfortable in. My dd 32 was a fashion buyer and gives me advice on clothes . I’m 67 and a size 12 and do wear clothes which are trendier than friends my age .
I also wear a bikini on holiday . On my recent holiday , there were lots of older women wearing bikinis and they were an assortment of shapes and sizes .

JaneJudge Wed 01-Apr-26 11:07:11

I wouldn't say anything smile

Kate1949 Wed 01-Apr-26 11:01:50

I have a friend who is 75 and has waist length grey hair. It is completely fabulous. It is silvery and shiny. It's her pride and joy. Why should she cut it? The only thing I feel when I see her is envy.

1960srelic Wed 01-Apr-26 10:56:12

Have you thought about going clothes shopping with her? Both of you buying clothes? Then you could ask each other's opinion... Mind you, you might be the one who ends up in mini-skirts, so perhaps better not.....

paddyann54 Wed 01-Apr-26 10:42:05

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

MT62 Wed 01-Apr-26 09:22:45

I try not to be judgmental, but this friend of mine came to my sister’s funeral with short dress on & boobs hanging out, six inch heels. TBH, I was livid.
I found it disrespectful, especially as she was at my heel the whole way through the wake.
My younger nephews eyes were out on stalks. When I passed some young lads playing pool (not with us) saying MILF, that was it. She was the only person drunk person there, as most were on tea.
I said I just want to sit with my family now, ‘who had traveled down from Perth’, so I called a taxi for her.
My dad’s funeral she asked for all the arrangements. I just said come to the church but it’s family only 😔
She said that was best, as she had taken over at my sisters funeral, so knew full well what attention she was drawing at the time.

Aveline Wed 01-Apr-26 08:47:31

I had a boss who was so proud of her long flowing locks. It was a ghastly fright when she turned round and we could see her old face 🙁.

SpinDriftCoastal Wed 01-Apr-26 07:19:31

Oh, would some Power give us the gift to see ourselves as others see us!

I look like a relic from the 70s!