Would you tell her?

keepingquiet

You sound very judgemental saying her legs are 'not nice' what is that supposed to mean?
She would be upset if you tell her? Then don't tell her!
I see so many young women walking around who look good awful with their fish lips and pantomime dame eyebrows, but I wouldn't say anything to them- they probably think they look great and so should your friend.
Ignore what other people say too- they sound very bitchy to me.
She is 70 years old and has earned the right to wear whatever she wants if she feels comfortable in her clothes.

What happens when people stop using lip fillers? Do their lips go down like burst balloons? I can’t not see lip fillers now. As for the thought of having needles stuck in my lips !

Aely

"When I am an old woman I shall wear purple / With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me."

And why shouldn't she?

She is an adult and so long as she doesn't go out in public wearing a baby-doll nighty and no knickers it is nobody's business but hers unless, of course, she asks for your opinion.

Red hat and no drawers!! 😁

I'd ignore it if she's happy and obviously not a bit self-conscious, Dontcallmelove

Very, very few older people can carry off the Judi pixie cut and would frankly look a great deal better with long hair!

There is a happy medium!
I can't wear my hair longer, it makes me look even older than I am. A short bob is best for me.
Each to their own.

Gran22boys

As others have said, compliment her when she looks good. Mini skirts look ridiculous on older people as does long hair generally (not always). Women think these things make them look younger when actually the reverse is true. And we actually do judge people on their appearance generally even if we say we don’t.

What on earth are you talking about?
I’m not elderly at 61 but my naturally blond, long hair is magnificent! It’s the sort of colour that people pay fortunes to try to emulate. I have a lovely little patch of silvers at my temples, so far that’s it. When it’s fully silver, I’ll love it.

Your attitude is so old-fashioned and a bit strange, tbh.

Very, very few older people can carry off the Judi pixie cut and would frankly look a great deal better with long hair!

Gran22boys

As others have said, compliment her when she looks good. Mini skirts look ridiculous on older people as does long hair generally (not always). Women think these things make them look younger when actually the reverse is true. And we actually do judge people on their appearance generally even if we say we don’t.

I've recently been watching Martha Agerich at the piano, at 84 years, she has thick, shoulder-length grey hair - and I think she looks absolutely lovely. As did my late OH. A much younger, male, family member said she looks 'stunning'.

I don't think you can make hard-and-fast rules on fashion and ageing.

Don't say anything you'll only upset her and its not worth spoiling your friendship over it .
Some years ago I had a friend who used to get her small daughter to choose all her clothes,hair and make up .
She was a huge woman - overweight ,tall and extremely loud
Dressed in too short frilly frocks with bows in her hair - she looked ridiculous.
I had to laugh-on one occasion when we were going out she said,
you are going to dress up tonight ,aren't you?

Sadly at 80 my legs are much too swollen to be revealed. It;s either trousers or maxi skirts and dresses for me. I think I may be going too far with some of my sleeveless tops and dresses, but I'm sure my daughter would be the first to say something.

"When I am an old woman I shall wear purple / With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me."

And why shouldn't she?

She is an adult and so long as she doesn't go out in public wearing a baby-doll nighty and no knickers it is nobody's business but hers unless, of course, she asks for your opinion.

Aveline

I think the suggestion that you compliment her when she looks good is a helpful one. It's just embarrassing when someone looks like mutton dressed as lamb or as a charming colleague said 'carrion dressed as mutton'!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 That's the first time I've heard that one....
How do we know when we're at the " carrion" stage ? I wonder.?

Well if others are commenting in loud voices she will hear anyway. Problem solved.

If she asks you then you can always say. " I like you in xyz outfits" and hope she listens and takes it on board.

I also have a very slim/thin legged friend who dresses a bit too young. But she probsbly doesnt like my Seasalt dresses and trousers. I wouldnt dream of making any comment.

Years ago an elderly employer said you should never comment on others appearance whether it be compliment or criticsm. I didnt understand her then in my 20s but I do now in my late 70s.

Wear what you like and pay the price of others laughing at you if you look ridiculous. Peopleare judgemental however much we wish they weren't. It's just being human.

The friend I mentioned loves the attention, good or bad. If anyone says anything bad, she puts it down to jealousy. She really doesn't care.

Sago

I would comment when she dresses appropriately and really compliment her, stay quiet when she looks grim!

This is a good tactic.
As a poster upthread asked, yes it can be a bit embarrassing. She doesn’t have the personality to carry it off and so spends a lot of the time wriggling and pulling at her clothes. It’s not just mini skirts.
To other posters, I do think we should be able to wear what we want but when a friend is being ridiculed within earshot my reaction is to defend them, some people have loud voices and don’t care who hears.

This reminds me of the advice given when our children were young - reward good behaviour and ignore bad.

The advice here then to compliment your friend when she looks nice (and, dare I say it, age appropriate!) and ignore the mini skirt look seems wise.

If she ever asked your opinion though when she’s wearing the short skirt, well if you think you could phrase it tactfully, then perhaps gently say something.

I'm in agreement with Sago and Doodledog's advice.

It's nobody's business but hers. I have a friend who is 75 and wears shortish skirts. She also wears very low cut tops with push up bras so her boobs are always out. I would be embarrassed but she isn't. It's up to her.

Should you tell her? - no.

Dressing is about feeling good - and she feels good. It matters not what others think.

You sound very judgemental saying her legs are 'not nice' what is that supposed to mean?
She would be upset if you tell her? Then don't tell her!
I see so many young women walking around who look good awful with their fish lips and pantomime dame eyebrows, but I wouldn't say anything to them- they probably think they look great and so should your friend.
Ignore what other people say too- they sound very bitchy to me.
She is 70 years old and has earned the right to wear whatever she wants if she feels comfortable in her clothes.

There is an article in the DT advising you how to wear mini skirts when you are older. Perhaps she has been reading it.
But do not say a word if you wish to remain friends.

She's happy leave her.
I wear shorts in the summer and I have a big scar from my knee replacement, I'm happy in them but I'm sure I will know when to stop wearing them. She will know when to call it a day.

Depends, if she looked like hooker, yes I would say something, especially if I was out shopping with her.
I have a friend who wears really short skirts & clumpy shoes. She looks ridiculous, but I don’t go out with her, so doesn’t really affect me.
Down to her daughters to tell her.

Aveline

I think the suggestion that you compliment her when she looks good is a helpful one. It's just embarrassing when someone looks like mutton dressed as lamb or as a charming colleague said 'carrion dressed as mutton'!

Haha😂love that one Aveline

I would go with the compliments when she dresses well and ignore the silly miniskirts.
It must be embarrassing to be seen out with her OP.😬

As others have said, compliment her when she looks good. Mini skirts look ridiculous on older people as does long hair generally (not always). Women think these things make them look younger when actually the reverse is true. And we actually do judge people on their appearance generally even if we say we don’t.

Say nothing! even as a friend, you cannot be expected to become a member of the fashion police it oversteps the mark and could damage your relationship.

Sago

I would comment when she dresses appropriately and really compliment her, stay quiet when she looks grim!

This is wise.

Unsolicited advice is very rarely welcome, particularly when it includes criticism.

I think the point here is, are you embarrassed to be out with her when she is dressed in a way that draws attention, if not, then just go with the flow and enjoy her company.
If you are embarrassed then you must decide whether to go out with her at all.
Just don’t upset her by saying anything.