BlueBelle
So no one’s ever had a ‘headache’ or feel a bit ‘under the weather’ I fully admit I have I didn’t ever pull a sickie in my work life but I remember pulling out of a dentist check up by ‘feeling unwell’ and also a party once as I was just too shy to go to a be with a lot of strangers so I ‘hurt my ankle’ that morning I remember thinking it would be much worse to be truthful as she would then feel she’d got to babysit me for the evening.
No Doodledog I don’t think either of those occasions let anyone down !
So someone who may have been feeling worried that people wouldn’t turn up, will have spent money per head on the catering, will have planned the invitations and not been able to invite some friends because they had prioritised others doesn’t feel let down when people who say they are coming don’t bother to attend?
Social occasions aren’t compulsory- if you (generic) don’t enjoy them, why accept in the first place?
I really dislike the way many people like to have others do the work of arranging things, pay for premises and food, have the stress of worrying that people won’t show up but then decide on the night whether they want to turn up.
In a large, loose social group I’m in this happens a lot. Organisers are left with tables half filled and angry waiters who had kept them open. Others are left waiting in car parks for those who agreed to attend dog walks, or sit feeling embarrassed in cafes or bars as those who signed up just don’t show.
I think it’s cruel, and the ‘anxiety’ excuse just doesn’t wash. I fully understand anxiety - but why accept or put your name down if you know there is a good chance you won’t be able to make it? Why are the anxious one’s feelings more important than the organisers’?
A friend of mine took her turn at arranging a group night out in a restaurant. She booked for 12, and reminded everyone on the list several times, pointing out that it was a small restaurant and turning people away would cost them money. I went early with her for support. She was so nervous about it in case nobody came, and at least if that happened there were two of us. Nobody arrived on time, and then the texts started. Illness, cars that wouldn’t start etc. The waiter kept asking if we were ready, and we didn’t know. In the end there were five of us instead of the twelve who booked. Of course she was let down.
And then people complain that it’s difficult to make friends as we get older.
. It happens to be something I feel strongly about having worked for so long with the Queen of Sickies, but everyone has their own moral compass and I am not in the business of giving absolution or condemnation to those with different views from mine.