Ignorance is no excuse

My late fil was one whom the OPs friend was ranting about as he had his care home fees paid by the state . But he and my mil paid their taxes and ni all their working lives. They just happened to have low paying jobs and were council tenants since they married . My fil worked on the railways and then was a painter and decorator. My mil was a seamstress.
They certainly weren’t scroungers .
I think some forget that those in low income jobs won’t have a mortgage or lots of savings. My in-laws and their families didn’t own their property, nor did my paternal grandparents . But they certainly contributed to society.

I had been thinking about that.
A lot of the women i spoke to in care homes had very hard lives.
I think they had simply worn out their bodies with years and years of hard, manual labour.

I think we all have a responsibility to be self-supporting if we possibly can and not expect the state to ensure that our children get a nice windfall when we die.

If that means houses beng sold to fund care, then so be it.

I was born during WW2 in this country and have been fortunate to live a life free from war in this country with access to good education, free health care and so many oher benefits pai by the state from my taxation. I do not begrudge the state taking a share of my estate when I die.

A good clear post Tenko .

My in-laws and their families didn’t own their property, nor did my paternal grandparents . But they certainly contributed to society.
Yes, as many people do but never amass much in the way of savings.

Not everyone will need care either.
However, if they do, the fees are very high - how much actually is spent on care and how much on profits for the firms which own these care homes?

I worked from 17-62, obvs paid taxes, brought up children. Spent my last few working years managing RA, elderly parents, depressed famiky member and their children, my two through exams and uni. More recently six months full time care for mr I. Our adult children and grandchildren. My life so similar to other women.
I’ve a decent pension thank goodness, we always paid extra in even when staggering month to month.
I’ve been lucky. I hope my house goes to my children rather than paying for my care.
Who knows.. I’ve been fortunate to be in work thst challenged me to save for this stage of life

Its not at unreasoable to want ones money to go where one de

Oh...
Cut myself off
Probably just as well.

MissAdventure

Oh...
Cut myself off
Probably just as well.

Oh, thank goodness you're back!

Some threads can get so heavy and posters have been told off for not being serious enough ......

I bet it was you who wasn't serious enough, wasn't it?

My mother in law eventually had to go into a care home. She had lived in a council flat since 1948, had no career and had worked as a classroom assistant. Her husband had never had the sort of job that produces a pension so all she had was her state pension. Her accommodation in the home was free, but was noticeably poorer that the rooms of the paying inmates. She certainly wasn't living in luxury at the tax payer's expense.

I think it’s utterly hilarious when someone feels it necessary to “tell someone off” on here!

Sometimes, some people (me) deal with very heavy, depressing stuff by using humour, sometimes quite deliberately, sometimes it’s totally random and unplanned, I often used to get awful attacks of giggles at the most inappropriate times, it still happens, but much less often. I got told off often at school and glared at in meetings whilst at work! or some smart a**e would ask “would you like to share your joke”.

Many many people simply didn’t earn enough to “save” for old age, didn’t own their own houses and were certainly not scroungers!

During work training courses was the place I'd usually get the titters.
Sometimes the trainers would inadvertently say things that sounded quite rude - a bit "carry on film"...

Smileless2012

I agree. Nobody is entitled to a legacy.

I don't think that being able to pay for care in old age is being penalised Grantanow. Are the ones who wont have any inheritance or less than they hoped for the ones being penalised?

Should tax payers pay more in tax to fund the care of the elderly so their children can have an inheritance?

What's the alternative? If the State were to spend far more on social care which I agree should happen, it will never be able to finance it totally.

MissAdventure

I bet it was you who wasn't serious enough, wasn't it?

Oh goodness, no, I am always thoughtful and erudite! 😀

Not everyone’s children have had it good, some have had a father that never contributed a penny towards their lives.
The only thing I ve ever owned in my life is my house
I d rather fall down the stairs and die than give it to the government

I wish my mother had spent her money on herself instead of going without in order to amass a small amount of savings from a basic pension. She could have had holidays, visited her wider family, turned up the heating or bought nicer clothes instead. She would still have ended up in the same care home but the majority of fees would have been paid by the council instead.

The selling of my meagre home will mean my grandson is left with no mother, a dad who isnt interested, and nowhere to live.
We all have it "not fair" in some way or another.

SueDonim

I wish my mother had spent her money on herself instead of going without in order to amass a small amount of savings from a basic pension. She could have had holidays, visited her wider family, turned up the heating or bought nicer clothes instead. She would still have ended up in the same care home but the majority of fees would have been paid by the council instead.

We encouraged my mother to spend as much as possible on herself, nice new comfy bed, proper rise and recline chair, lovely new living room curtains, and we made sure she enjoyed the food she could and the odd glass of bubbly.

She was very sensible and ensured her little house was well maintained and in good repair.

During her last years she was totally housebound, and utterly heartbroken when my darling father died, either myself or our lovely youngest daughter called in between us at least four times at week and at least twice a week prepared and ate dinner with her. Between the pair of us we did her shopping and if she felt unwell one of us would stay the night. It was hard, we both were still working full time, but she only lived 6 roads away from us.

She never wanted to go into a care home and luckily had all her marbles, but was frail and riddled with osteo arthritis.

She managed to live until her death in her own adapted home and also died at home, with myself, husband and our four children by her side.

That’s kind of how I’d envisioned my mum’s life panning out. Cossy. She’s fiercely independent (outlived two of her children) and I was shocked that she’s ended up in a care home. To be honest, I can’t see the point in mouldering away like that, there’s no pleasure to be had from it.

My mother wanted to go into a care home when Dad died. She had a new lease of life. Enjoyed the company, some outings, with no worries about housework or where the next meal was coming from. She was more than happy to sell her house to pay for it, though she only lasted a few months and died aged 92.

How do they get away with charging so much? When my son worked in them they paid peanuts and got monkeys as a result! Also made excuses to sack over 18s so they could pay less

By the way, Martin Lewis reminded us last night that fewer than 5% of estates need to pay IHT (inheritance tax.).

Whingey

How do they get away with charging so much? When my son worked in them they paid peanuts and got monkeys as a result! Also made excuses to sack over 18s so they could pay less

Does that description of care workers include your son 🤷‍♀️