Decluttering

The DC might want some, but ‘not yet’ apparently

Well, if they won’t take it ‘now’, then that’s the time to say, “It’s going to the charity shop/tip/ free cycle etc” then.

Make your mind up time.

My clutter isn’t in the shape of diamond rings or old masters. It’s old books (not first editions), clothes that don’t fit and things like towels and pillowcases that are ‘too good to throw away’.

I used to put things on ebay, but I've not done that for a few years now.
My stuff isn't worth anything, so, if i can't find anyone to give it to, it's going.
If it's in the bin, so be it.

I always think things "might do someone a turn".

Or "that might be worth a bob or two".

Usually it's the rubbish I've thrown out which is worth something on the Antiques Road Show.

Dear MIL died many years ago, so it's not her fault!

Just remembered I have curtains in a box in the attic, must be brave and climb the ladder to investigate.

Books anyone?

Allira

Some of our stuff came from MIL's house and I don't feel it's my place to get rid of it. The DC might want some but 'not yet' apparently. Sometimes I feel as if I'm running a storage facility.

Yes, I feel that sometimes, too. My mum keeps giving me things for the children that they don't want. I don't see them (the children) very often, so my hall table has pairs of curtains and hardback books, plus assorted other crap 'gifts' that my mum has decluttered, cluttering up my gaff until I do. More than half the time the children say no anyway, but I have to go through the motions.

It really needs to stop. Perhaps family therapy would sort it😂

I always think things "might do someone a turn".

The big wicker basket i merged into a small plastic box was full of nails, screws, rawlplugs and things of that sort. Some in smaller containers within a container.

I think I'm imagining all screws of the same type in their own neat little box, and so on.

The point being, if i need a nail now, I'll have to root through the new plastic container until I find one.
Not the end of the world, very simple, and may take 5 or 6 minutes.
Better than hours wasted and feeling despair at the mess I've got into.

Same here. I have my ex’s stuff and his parents things. He keeps saying he doesn’t have time to go through it but I think it’s because neither of us have moved on totally.

Some of our stuff came from MIL's house and I don't feel it's my place to get rid of it. The DC might want some but 'not yet' apparently. Sometimes I feel as if I'm running a storage facility.

MissAdventure

You put up a couple if pictures before, and it looked delightful! .
Genuinely quaint, like a magical shop full of goodies.

That was the good bits! To explain why I struggle to give things to charity or throw them out. Underneath things like that are the piles of homeless stuff. I still have the Christmas tree up because I struggle to get it into the loft and, having got it out of the loft two years ago fir the first time in years couldn’t face taking it back up there again. What I don’t understand is why it no longer fits in the box it came in . I’ve just swept up the leaves in the back garden and now I’m sitting looking at some of the unpacking. Before I went away the time before last I had a blocked sewage pipe and couldn’t do anything for several days ( it resulted in an awful row with my neighbours which made me ill as I hate arguments) and the last time I had a steroid injection and needed to rest my leg for a few days. I think this is all down to being away from home a lot. I leave the house up there neatly tidy and spotless and come back to chaos, which exhausts me.

For me, the motivation comes from not being able to find things when I need them (which sometimes means I buy another one, so then have two of them), and from wanting my house to look good, which it does when it's tidy. I don't 'hoard', but I understand the resistance to throwing useable 'stuff' away.

The psychology of clutter is interesting, I think. I don't want to end up like my mum, who is always trying to offload her things onto others. She's always been the same - I may have mentioned the time she visited a 25 year old me with a bag of 'goodies' including non-matching rolls of spare wallpaper, a burnt saucepan and 25 pairs of chopsticks? The apple hasn't fallen too far from the tree (I still have - and use -the chopsticks😂), but my children are less tolerant of intergenerational junk and just say no.

My mum is as she is because she was a child in the war, and nothing was disposable. My only excuse is that I was brought up by my mum, so have something of the same mentality, but the difference is that in my lifetime there has been an exponential rise in the number of available items, and more spare money with which to buy them. I want a simpler life, but have been brainwashed by advertising and marketing campaigns that tell me I will be happier with X, Y or Z in my life. I know this, but it's deep-seated. I live with my husband in a family house, so there is room for unnecessary items, and they sneak up on me.

Husband is not the same, fortunately. He has his 'turf' - the garage and the shed - where he crams in his tool collection and other 'items that might come in handy', but on the whole the house doesn't suffer. There's just the CDs and DVDs he refuses to part with, and the pesky music stacking system that he thinks is valuable (it's not).

That's part of the problem, I think. Items that have cost us a lot can become sacred cows. The stereo system was expensive in the late 80s. It was bought as 'separates', which include a tape to tape deck, to record from one cassette to another, and enormous speakers of which he was very proud. It even has its own cabinet, in dark wood with a tinted glass door - I'm sure you can picture it. But technology has moved on, and you can get a great sound now in a much smaller machine that doesn't drive your wife insane and take up an alcove in the dining room. Those stacking systems, along with dinner services and 'collectible' ornaments are worth very little. Many people of a certain age have them, and the next generation don't want them, but it's hard to accept that something you saved for and have cared for for decades is basically 'junk', and was never the investment you thought it was (see also encyclopaedias). We are not losing money when getting rid of them - the money was spent when we bought them. In some cases it will cost to get someone to take them away, but it is a psychological leap to accept that.

I've really had to pull myself up short, stop trying to offload things onto all and sundry, and take responsibility for getting rid of them myself. I use freecycling sites, charity collection companies etc, and if they don't want them they go to the tip.

There was a programme on the other day where a team went into someone's house, had items valued then packed them up and asked if they wanted to keep or sell them.

The thing was, it is a relative who invites them in without the owner's knowledge, the owner is not there, knows nothing about it, then they are presented with the option of keeping or selling. 😲

I would be very annoyed if one of my DC did that!

Clean up for Cash.

You put up a couple if pictures before, and it looked delightful! .
Genuinely quaint, like a magical shop full of goodies.

I have far too much furniture, a lot of it because of my Annie Sloan upcycling phase in which I couldn’t resist buying furniture from charity shops.

Ideal for an upcycling centre!

Arts and crafts? I have kept all my art stuff just in case 🤔
Yarn? I could start a wool shop.

I do know how you feel about disposing of items, Maybee
Lots of stuff has gone to charity shops but sometimes I look at wome item and think it might be worth a bit! Probably not though.

Do you have an upcycling centre near you? They take items, sometimes renovate them, test and make safe electrical items then sell them.

If I put pictures up on here of my house I think people would be horrified. I don’t understand why it wasn’t like this when I was still working ( with three jobs at one time) I had two dogs, a cat ( a very dirty cat, too) and my son lived at home with his girlfriend staying for a lot of the time too. I suppose a lot of the house repairs didn’t need doing back then and I was more mobile. I have far too much furniture, a lot of it because of my Annie Sloan upcycling phase in which I couldn’t resist buying furniture from charity shops. And I have boxes full of art projects that I never found time for when my husband left and I was doing so many jobs.

I know how you feel MayBee feeling too overwhelmed by it all.

I'm feeling the same way.
I'll soon be a candidate for one of those tv progammes that make people gasp when they see the mess.

I've started again taking bits and bats off to the charity shop.I've kept a bag in my bedroom 'Charity bag' and everytime I open a cupboard or wardrobe and see something I'm not really using, I pop it in the bag.It's not a mass clear out as I find that overwhelming and then I give up, but I find doing it little by little like this does help and also means you're not having to cart about five sacks to the shop all at once .
I have a craft chest of drawers that I really must clear out but it wastes a lot of time sifting through papers and glue and gems and bows etc !

I can’t throw things away. I have a zero waste policy. I abhor landfill as I just think it’s out of sight out of mind. And I’m not rich enough to charity shop things of value, most of which is stuff that I’ve bought because I love it. My main problem, living between two houses, is duplicates of everything. I want to do a sort your life out where I put everything out in categories and work my way through things without replacing them. And I tend to buy things that will help me to be more organised but just creates more mess. I’m actually someone that needs everything to be ordered and categorised so I’m ok with a lot of stuff if it’s categorised ( maybe it’s because I used to be a filing clerk?). Also the jobs in the house are piling up. On top of the leaking garage/porch roof ( I can’t keep things in the garage that other people keep in theirs) I now have a leaking tap in the bathroom. And the gutters need clearing and overhanging trees need cutting back. Weeds are coming up through the patio and the fences need painting.

I know how you feel MayBee70. It's overwhelming. Save up some newspaper and see if you can box up something/s each day and preferably your DD can take it away. Charity shop or tip. It makes no difference to you if you don't use it or them.
One a day is 365 a year.
Gardener for the garden?

Thanks Miss Adventure. I lost my mojo when the previous thread stopped and I’m in an even worse state now. I really have reached the state that people get into on those tv programmes in which everything is so bad I now just sit and look at it whilst watching box sets or sleeping. Each time I go and stay at my partners I leave an even bigger mess behind which gets worse when I bring the things back that I took there and then have to unpack. I’ve now got a few clear weeks, my daughter is no longer tied up with getting her youngest through his exams and really needs to help me. Trouble is the garden now needs sorting out, too. I’m sitting surrounded by unpacked bags. I take clothes with me which I never wear, books that I don’t read etc etc and, as I don’t travel well it takes me a few days to stop feeling tired. Going to start on the kitchen now…I never get any visitors so there is no motivation to make the place habitable.

Nothing, zilch.
Mañana

That's the best part of decluttering, if you can give it to someone who needs it.
I've not done any today, but i may get a burst of enthusiasm--and pigs might fly--

Even one thing out is a win.

Hooray got rid of a large electrical item today to someone who needs it and will use it.

I need some more cardboard boxes and bubble wrap for china. I will be so pleased when this first clear out has gone. Plenty more to do, but this has given me a kick ip the backside..

MissAdventure

Just the jigsaw today, for me.
Out it went.
I have to keep moving things from cupboard to cupboard to get to the stuff.

I've decanted the contents of a big, deep wicker basket into a much smaller white plastic box.

I cleaned out my sheets and bedding cupboard, and the very same night my boy came in with an industrial hoover, and a pile of pipes/tubes/things and put them in there.

Thst's what my family does.
Every time they come to stay, more 'stuff' gets left behind!