A funeral question…

It would depend on whether it was local. A friend of DH died and lived 150 miles away so I went too and we had a couple of days away. I have been with him to funerals of work colleagues and he has been with me to funerals of people I know and he didn’t. We support each other.

In the end I did go. We do tend to go together to these things. It wasn't a funeral, but a memorial, or celebration of life.

There were quite a few people there, and we ended up at a round table of people that we both knew, so I was fine. There wasn't much mingling involved, and I stayed at the table while my DH gave condolences to the family.

Ask him if he wants you to go,as you did not know him...

Only if he really wanted me to, can’t bear funerals so generally don’t attend.

Like others, I wouldn’t go unless my husband especially wanted me to.

Unless I also knew the person or my husband asked me to go I would stay at home. I wouldn't expect him to come with me to a funeral if he did'nt know that person.

Your question doesn't add up as your going anyway you say

I don't go to any funeral, celebration of life unless I actually knew the person. Perhaps if someone felt they may be very emotional at the event I would accompany them if asked.

I definitely wouldn’t go unless my DH asked me to. I loathe funerals and swerve them if possible which is why I’m not having one.

I would if my partner wished it and he would do the same.
I've been to a few funerals of people I didn't know, when a Sunday School teacher quite active in the church . The Vicar asked us as support for relatives of local old people ...or if there were no other attendants, such as an old man that no one liked apart from the warden at his sheltered housing..

This happened to me earlier this year. It was a friend he'd met at university over 40 years ago, in Oxford. We live in the North of England now. He kept in touch with that whole group of friends and I would sometimes visit with him, or they would visit us. They aren't in any way close tho, just friends who shared an interest in going to festivals. But I hadn't seen the deceased in over 20 years, and really couldn't face the 450 mile round trip, so decided not to go. He would have preferred me there, both for the drive and the funeral, but he understood it was asking a lot.

I would accompany them on the journey but go my own way near the venue, then meet up later.

My friend (the hypochondriac) used to be in sole charge of a very specialist Government office. She’s still on the intranet and goes to all of the funerals if she can. She reckons they’ll all have known her at some point, even if she can’t remember them! She came with me to my lovely friend’s funeral and I had to explain to the family later who she was - embarrassing!

Scribbles

I would only go if my partner specifically asked me to - because it was a close friend and he felt he needed my support.

Yes, me too.

No, not unless specifically asked.

Funerals aren,t for the dead ,they are for the people left behind who loved them.If turning up to a funeral of someone you haven’t seen in decades gives comfort to his family I,d go….and have.
It’s not unusual for churches to be overflowing here and only 30 will go to the purvey.
Families are on the whole happy to see a “ good turnout” For their loved ones
Maybe it’s just us though……there’s a big Irish Scottish mix here and funerals are social occasions.

I wouldnt.

But etiquette, apart from anything else, is different in other Countries.

jusnoneed

No. I rarely go to funerals but my partner will go off to ones for people he hasn't seen or had contact with for years. I always think that's odd, if you don't see someone while they are alive why go to their funeral?

I agree with this but would go with my Husband if specifically asked.
Last year an ex work colleague of my Husband died and the funeral was 200 miles away. He felt he should go as other ex colleagues would be going. I pointed out that they had no contact during the last 6 years so what would be the point. In the end he sent a card and charity donation to the family.

I only go to funerals of people I knew.

I wouldn’t expect DH to accompany me to a funeral of someone he didn’t know. For me funerals are a celebration of someone’s life, and a coming together of family and friends to show love and respect for the deceased and reminiscing.

DH has two funerals in three weeks, he will go along with his friend who also knew the deceased. I have declined as I barely knew them.

kircubbin2000

I think it's intrusive to go to funerals of strangers. 2 people came to my dads funeral and sat chatting through his special hymn. I had to shush them!
Then they had the cheek to come to the hotel afterwards.They were friends of another attendee but no connection to our family.

Yes I agree. I think funerals are private affairs, especially if you didn’t know that person.
My mums Friend is what I call a professional mourner. She goes to everyone’s funeral, regardless if she knew them or not.
I call her the ‘Grim Reaper’ 🙄

It is possible to just attend the funeral service and not go on to an apres funeral do. We've been to several lately and usually choose not to go on after. I don't mind if I don't know the person. I can wish them well with a good conscience.

Last year I went to a bikers funeral (was a member of a motorcycle club back in the day). Friend who was coming with me, who always lets me down last minute, did.
So off I went, a little nervous as I hadn’t seen anyone for years, to the Crem & after to his favourite pub turned into tea room. Amazed to see all these bikers having tea & cakes off bone china cups & plates.
It was fantastic seeing everyone, all older, of course. We just sat reminiscing.
Glad now my friend gibbed, otherwise I would have had to sit talking to her about all her ailments, moaning that she didn’t know anyone.

BlueBelle ! (sorry)

Sometimes situations can be daunting.:

If your partner prefers you to come with him - make an effort to go to keep him company .

CanadianGran

If your partner is going to a funeral/celebration of life for an old school friend that you don’t know, do you accompany him?

I most likely will, but will most probably be left making awkward small talk to people I don’t know.

what Bluebell said ^^

you don’t want to be in a position of having to make awkward small talk with the recently bereaved family and close friends of an old school friend of your husband, a complete stranger
to you, now do you ?! Did you think there might be cake?