Have you got to this stage of life ?

No, I've not got to that stage, neither will I.
I'm not really bothered, though, mostly.

It’s certainly a reassuring statistic Primrose but even those frail elderly folk still living at home often need assistance in the form of carers going in a few times a day, and as we have seen on here, even that adds up to a substantial amount of money.

For those who need an overnight carer would of course have to cough up even more.

Sorry to hear about your husband. A worrying time.

This time of my life is the rainy day!

Sending you Primrose.

Very sorry to read that your DH has had another stroke.

I hope he improves now he’s home again.

Just checked - less than 4% of people over 65 end up in a care home.

I was sure it was around that percentage as two solicitors told me this when we did our Wills.

I inherited a small but life changing amount of money
An oxymoron surely?

Actually just a small percentage of people end their days in care homes so I hope I am one of those.

Between my husband and myself, two of our parents died in a care home (90 and 98), one died at home (86) looked after by their spouse, helped by carers, and that spouse is currently in a care home (95).

All four had or currently have dementia.

So do we save? Spend while we can? We're 69.

I honestly don't know what to do for the best some days 🤷🏼

GrandMattie I am so sorry to read of your scamming experience and not being dealt with fairly. This has left you in a very precarious position as you say. Have you had any help from anyone? This is a lesson none of us want to learn. Once again I am so sorry.

MissChateline

I inherited a small but life changing amount of money a couple of years ago. I decided to invest the majority of it to provide a monthly income but I kept a “nibbling fund” back.
For the first two years I was reluctant to spend any of it but I gave myself a good talking to and realised that I couldn’t take it with me.
I’m now enjoying doing so many of the things that I have always wanted to do. Hiking holidays abroad, renting a house in Portugal for 6 weeks and inviting friends and family to stay. I’ve made improvements to my house, new roof and carpets, a gym membership with a weekly personal trainer and cleaners once every couple of weeks. I am 71.
I’m now planning a trip of a lifetime to travel the Silk Road through the Stans next year.
Every evening when I’m away enjoying travel and new experiences I raise a glass to my dad and I know that he would be happy knowing that I was using my inheritance to do wonderful things and enjoying it.

That sounds lovely - good girl! 👏👏

I also inherited a very nice amount from my Mum in 2020 when she passed away and I haven’t even touched that yet but I will when the time is right as Mum always told me to enjoy myself while I could.

Fallingstar

I just wish we had spent more on ourselves and enjoyed doing the things we thought were too costly because now my DH has had a massive stroke and I am his full time carer. Of course we did enjoy life and travelled etc., but we always held back on some things that we really wanted to do.
So a word from the wise, if you are still able to enjoy the good things in life and have the money to do so, don’t wait, it is later than you think.

I am in exactly the same position Fallingstar ….. sadly. My husband had a life changing Stroke 18 months ago and is now very disabled. 3 weeks ago he had a second Stroke and is just home from hospital.

We had some nice holidays abroad but I had to push him to go as he was always working. I just booked it and said “We’re going” and he did enjoy it when we got there. We could have done a lot more though and I do regret that. I miss walking together, going to the beach, just going out for the day, meeting friends etc and of course his days of motorbiking, horseriding are well and truly over.

Now I buy what I like and often don’t even look at prices. I keep telling him he will be the richest man in the graveyard! There is no point in being frugal now.

My neighbour is loaded but is incredibly tight. She is single with no kids just two needy nieces who will get all her money when she pops her clogs. I keep telling her to spend it on herself now but she wears castoffs and charity shop stuff and looks awful. She goes all day on a bowl of muesli, a bread roll with butter for lunch and some concoction which looks like vegetable water for her main meal.

Actually just a small percentage of people end their days in care homes so I hope I am one of those.

I’ve always had just enough to live on and have to live frugally. An unexpected bill means cutting out something else to pay it. I’ve never had holidays and buy my clothes in charity shops.
My extravagance is keeping 3 pets and I’m quite content.

I inherited a small but life changing amount of money a couple of years ago. I decided to invest the majority of it to provide a monthly income but I kept a “nibbling fund” back.
For the first two years I was reluctant to spend any of it but I gave myself a good talking to and realised that I couldn’t take it with me.
I’m now enjoying doing so many of the things that I have always wanted to do. Hiking holidays abroad, renting a house in Portugal for 6 weeks and inviting friends and family to stay. I’ve made improvements to my house, new roof and carpets, a gym membership with a weekly personal trainer and cleaners once every couple of weeks. I am 71.
I’m now planning a trip of a lifetime to travel the Silk Road through the Stans next year.
Every evening when I’m away enjoying travel and new experiences I raise a glass to my dad and I know that he would be happy knowing that I was using my inheritance to do wonderful things and enjoying it.

Sorry to hear about your husband’s fall Madmeg. What a shock that must have been.

Your account of how much it costs to have carers in every day to help, just emphasises how savings can vanish in the blink of an eye, even for limited help at home.

I hope things get back to normal once your husband has properly healed from falling over, and that he regains his confidence.

I've seen fst worse in privately run homes, for all their pretty rooms and and matching beďding.

My DH recently suffered a fall (not terribly serious in the grand scheme of things,) but it took away his confidence in climbing the stairs and soon after even in walking. Two months on and he is still struggling, though improving very very slightly. As a result we have carers 4 times a daily to do whatever he needs. Initially it was to get him out of bed and toilet him, but now they concentrate on getting him to walk around the house with his rollator. Because we are self-funding the visits cos £40 a time x 4 a day so over £1,100 a week, i.e. not far off £60k a year. We certainly don't have that sort of spare money coming in, so it will eat into our savings almost as much as full time in a residential home. Six months ago there was no indication of this being our lot in life and we don't have many years' worth of savings to last very long.

Until this happened we imagined we had plenty of dosh to support us both for some years in care homes but we were clearly very wrong.

So unless you have capital of at least a million, you are probably wasting your time thinking you will be okay in your dotage. And of course we are too late to give money to our DDs as it will be regarded as "deprivation of assets" - and I have seen some of the council-run care homes and wouldn't put a dog in them.

We’ve got more years behind us than we have in front. Enjoy your money what are you waiting for.

Like JodieB - I too would like to know , what was the strange turn of events Marzipan - I’m just nosey

I live quite frugally as my boiler, car and roof are all on borrowed time and they are far more important than holidays, clothes or eating out.

I’m sure the question of whether to spend more or continue saving is something that everyone of a certain age agonises over, and as we don’t know what the future holds it’s an impossible question to answer.

Will we need care at some point? What is certain is that if care is needed, even a substantial amount of savings or even an investment property or two would disappear very quickly.
Care homes charge at least £1,500 a week, £72,000 a year.
If we both need that level of care, it’s an eye watering amount.

Of course not everyone needs care in old age, but no matter how relatively fit and healthy we are for our age, who knows what’s round the corner, and wouldn’t everyone want to be in a financial position to choose a home or care package to suit them ?

As against that of course is the argument that life is for living and retirement is the perfect time to put ourselves first and spend on anything that brings us joy regardless of the cost.

Marzipan22

I've lived on the breadline for years and managed by not having a car or holidays or treats, but it's been fine because living in Cornwall is a daily joy in so many ways anyway. The beaches are free. However, a strange turn of events means I now have some extra funds so I can afford to take trains to places, go to the cinema and buy decent shoes and M&S salmon. 😂

Good! Sounds brilliant

I see it's happened again. It must be predictive text changing what I type.

Sorry, I intended to type * Snowball* not Snowball.

Snowball I no longer go abroad for holidays but I have renewed my passport. I use it for identification purposes. I no longer drive and didn't renew my driving licence when I was 75.

Totally agree DeeAitch56. I've been retired 10 years and have mostly spent my savings on what I want. However, they are now dwindling and I am having to tighten my belt. I would like a newer car but can't afford it. I can no longer afford foreign holidays so haven't renewed my passport. Rarely buy new clothes or shoes. It particularly irks me that I now have to pay tax on my small income. I'm just over the limit for claiming pension credit and all the associated benefits and I'm worse off than I would have been if I hadn't had a small workplace pension!

No I am not, nor will I ever be.