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Someone I know shouldn't be driving. In my opinion.

(53 Posts)
beachcomber76 Tue 23-Jun-26 19:13:31

I'm actually concerned about someone in their mid 90's may have an accident.

When I see them in the car I feel agitated as I'm sure reactions and quick decisions definitely slow as we get to such a great age. So I'm thinking of other road users too. I know there's an eyesight issue going on.

Not sure if I'm being too anxious on his behalf or whether I should mind my own business. I think it's for family to say something not me. [I don't know him well enough to have a conversation].

loopyloo Wed 24-Jun-26 07:41:54

I reported my brother, anonymously to the DVLA. He had also had a speeding fine ( he didn't know what those boxes were). He was asked to attend an assessment. The poor examiner was ashen. Brother had gone through a red light and come to a complete stop on a dual carriage way. I drove him home and the car went.
I think you need to report to DVL.
You may save lives.

Jojo1950 Wed 24-Jun-26 13:43:26

Well done you! Agree you did the right thing!

Bestgrammaever Wed 24-Jun-26 13:52:49

You thinking it's not your issue to resolve is wrong. We share the roads with bad drivers. It definitely is all of our problems.

Quizzer Wed 24-Jun-26 13:55:43

My SIL was hit in a car park by an elderly driver who said he ‘just didn’t see her’. She was permanently disabled by her injury.
A week or so later he hit and killed someone on a zebra crossing. It turns out he had been registered as partially blind and was definitely not fit to drive.
One life lost and one ruined by this unbelievable idiocy.

MissAdventure Wed 24-Jun-26 14:06:09

Of course being a great age doesnt mean someone ahoukd be free to endanger others.

4allweknow Wed 24-Jun-26 14:19:03

You can report concerns to DVLA. They will at the very least request
proof of an eyesight test and could request a cognitive ability assessment. If you are so concerned you should report. No good waiting on an accident.

Tenko Wed 24-Jun-26 14:34:51

OP , do you know this driver or their family well ? If you do , could you speak to a family member about your concerns?
I had a similar experience with my neighbour aged 92 . She’d drive down the road with her nose almost on the windscreen and had hit the posts on the entrance to her drive . Her car was covered in scratches and dents and she started parking on the road rather than the drive .
I spoke to her daughter who said that they’d also had concerns about her driving and her eyesight . Luckily I knew her daughter quite well . We had a spare key for her mums house and would keep an eye on her .
The family had a word and she stopped driving .

Harris27 Wed 24-Jun-26 14:44:35

I read this with with a heavy heart.my dear brother was always saying he just needed to keep his independence and his little mini was his independence. I did wonder how much longer he would keep it after being diagnosed with cognitive memory loss. He kept his independence stopped driving on the Saturday and died the following one. I always say he just gave up. But I do understand peoples views and it is a hard decision just make the right one.

Astitchintime Wed 24-Jun-26 14:48:36

One of our neighbours gave up driving after he had a very slight near-miss! it scared him so much he came home, put the car up for sale and hasn’t driven since! On the other hand, another neighbour is under the ophthalmology clinic, has been advised to NOT drive but insists he is ok………I’m just waiting for it all to go very wrong despite convince him to not drive whilst having his treatment……..and yes, I have reported him to the DVLA

Deedaa Wed 24-Jun-26 14:57:27

One of my neighbours was in his 80s when the doctor told him to stop. His driving was very bad by that time. Sadly he changed to riding a bike and was killed in a road accident. I don't think anyone else was hurt though.

JamesandJon33 Wed 24-Jun-26 14:58:16

We have a neighbour who spends every lunchtime in the pub. He drives home…going along the back roads so as not to meet the police. What does one do about that?

MissAdventure Wed 24-Jun-26 15:04:46

Report it!
I would.
This seems worse thsn someone clinging onto the belief that their driving is fine when it clesrly isn't.
Just bloody selfish behaviour.

Bazza Wed 24-Jun-26 15:17:47

My stepfather was persuaded to stop driving after falling asleep at the wheel more than once, fortunately only hitting the kerb. He also had trouble turning his head because of arthritis in his neck. We felt sorry for him as he lived in the depths of the county with very little public transport but in the end he was quite gracious and gifted his car to my sister who was delighted. We all made an effort to see him as much as possible and he would occasionally have a taxi to our house and we’d take him back. I don’t think he ever regretted being carless as he recognised he was a danger, but only after some quite difficult conversations. Please don’t ignore a driver who is clearly a danger, how ever you go about it.

pen50 Wed 24-Jun-26 15:38:39

My father was driving in his nineties and really shouldn't. I myself intend to stop when I'm eighty, or earlier if friends and family say I should. Already can't drive at night out of town.

Glenfinnan Wed 24-Jun-26 16:41:53

My DH has annual eye checks he’s 82. We know others who don’t have them as they know they will fail! I’ve spoken to them and their families but to no avail!!I have no proof… as no accidents!

cc Wed 24-Jun-26 16:52:02

My mother drove safely until she was in her late 80's, but then gave up, she knew the time had come.

cc Wed 24-Jun-26 16:53:59

We had a very elderly neighbour at our last house and we once had the local police come around to ask us what we thought about her driving. We said that she thought she was no longer safe but that she might not be able to continue living in the house if she stopped driving. Her daughter arranged for her carer to do all the driving from then on.

Peaseblossom Wed 24-Jun-26 16:59:38

JamesandJon33 Report him to the police. Definitely!

Busybeejay1 Wed 24-Jun-26 17:01:41

I can remember being in France visiting our daughter s French exchange family .We went out for a meal and Regis ,having had a few drinks drove us back through vineyards and back roads.He knew where the police would be!Quite scary really.

Peaseblossom Wed 24-Jun-26 17:06:40

Beachcomber76 Mid 90s?!!! He should not be driving at that age. Crazy. Needs reporting ASAP.

jocork Wed 24-Jun-26 18:11:05

I saw a programme a whie ago where the police were stopping drivers for eye tests. Many failed and one woman was sent home on foot to get her glasses and still failed with them! Many of the people failing eyesight tests were not elderly! I would be in favour of compusory eye tests for all drivers every few years. Once over 70 we have to renew our licence, but renewal is a simple tick box exercise so anyone in denial will simply tick the boxes anyway. I shall continue to have regular eye tests so I can tick the boxes confidently and honestly! If I thought someone was unsafe I would report them, if necessary anonymously!
I'm looking to downsize soon and am very aware that I need to be where public transport is better than where I am currently as I know that I have to prepare for the inevitable of eventually probably having to give up driving.

Barbadosbelle Wed 24-Jun-26 19:09:45

.

Mmm. Surely that's obvious?
You write a letter but don't sign it.

(Hope that you aren't driving!!!)
.

Barbadosbelle Wed 24-Jun-26 19:15:09

.

Just write a letter to the Police advising of his name, address and ditto for the pub (and likely times). No need to sign it.

If you know he's driving under the influence of alcohol and don't report it, then you're complicit.
.

Poppyjo Wed 24-Jun-26 23:51:30

At 82 I have had three falls which have restricted my mobility. Having driven for 53/years without a driving ticket or parking ticket I knew It was time Time to give up. I can shop on line,family and friends. Give me lift's and I believe i am very lucky. Life can still be good after cars.

Ali61 Thu 25-Jun-26 07:28:48

I would report to the DVLA for his safety and anyone who is a passenger in his car. My fil insisted on continuing to drive after the age of 90 and really didn't seem capable.

He eventually did have a bad accident which wrote the car off. He put his foot on the accelerator instead of the brake one day when coming out of the doctors. He shot across the road and into some metal gates. Luckily no pedestrians were hurt and no other cars damaged. But he could have killed someone.

The next day he wanted to be taken to look at cars as in his mind he just needed a little run around and was blaming the size of the car on the accident!

We had to tell him that the police were involved and he could face prosecution for dangerous driving. As you can imagine, it was all really difficult but I wish we'd done something sooner. If we'd had a quiet word with him about driving in his 90s, he wouldn't have listened. So quite often, reporting to the DVLA is the only option sadly.

Good luck 🤞