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Regrets I have a few….

(95 Posts)
Usedtobeblonde Wed 08-Jul-26 21:02:47

I have given away 10’s and 10’s of thousands of £’s and wish I hadn’t.
Do you have similar regrets?

Romola Fri 10-Jul-26 15:01:26

I regret not keeping in touch with a good friend with whom I worked in the giddy 60s.
Life changed, DH and I had a couple of DC and moved out of London to Wiltshire. She married and I can't find her.
Pammi at Hutch, are you on Gransnet?

Fartooold Fri 10-Jul-26 14:33:15

Gosh that was cathartic!!

Fartooold Fri 10-Jul-26 14:32:47

I regret at the age of 12 saying yes in court allowing my stepmother to adopt me! Yes I know I should put it to bed now but she nearly ruined my life!

Quizzer Fri 10-Jul-26 14:22:09

We got all 3 kids onto the property ladder. They have made excellent use of the opportunities. Absolutely no regrets.

RillaofIngleside Fri 10-Jul-26 14:12:01

Me too, Marjgran. I stayed with him long enough to marry him, and that relationship was damaging and a big regret. However I would never have met my second lovely DH if I hadn't married the first, so it turned out well in the end. We have been married 45 years.

keepcalmandcavachon Fri 10-Jul-26 14:03:18

There are some very wise and moving words on this thread, my regret sounds silly but it's that I wasn't more 'me' sooner. I'd have saved myself a lot of anxiety about trying to fit in.
It is very freeing to allow yourself to say no and I wish I found my gumption years ago!

ordinarygirl Fri 10-Jul-26 13:58:34

i have smaller regrets but my biggest regret is agreeing to move to our current home. Now it is impossible to sell .

Missiseff Fri 10-Jul-26 13:55:22

I have loads of regrets, but have never had money to give away

Barbadosbelle Fri 10-Jul-26 13:51:34

.

I had a couple of 'Ria & Leonard' flings which were great!!

Lots of illicit (and delicious) flirtatious lunches with no need to worry about the state of your lingerie!!
.

SillyNanny321 Fri 10-Jul-26 13:48:05

Sometimes I regret saying no to the one I really loved & staying with the one my family all said was a better choice! We had a good life for a few years but when our son arrived my Ex changed. Not the centre of attention. I introduced him to a friend & they hit it off. Still together as he is the centre of her life! Funny how later in life you can see where you went wrong. Dont think I would change though as my son & his family are the beat parts of my life now!

RobertaDanversWalker Fri 10-Jul-26 13:44:56

I feel deep regret, shame and sadness for the way I treated someone who loved me very deeply. I was young, beautiful, careless with people and had no thought about how I was hurting someone. He was totally heartbroken and this torments me, even though it was decades ago. He didn't deserve it, and I was heartless.

Peaseblossom Fri 10-Jul-26 13:44:14

Yes I regret that I haven't got any money. After paying all my bills, I have £40 left per week from my pension for anything else, like going out and having a coffee, birthday and Christmas presents, etc. and don't mention holidays. I haven't had one for 14 years.
I regret getting married at 20 and regret that I married the wrong person, who was a control freak. I wish I had had a better career, but I was never ambitious, was always shy and had no confidence in myself, even though I was capable.
I wish I could have my time all over again.

Marjgran Fri 10-Jul-26 13:40:46

Oh yes, I regret staying with the boyfriend I had at University for too long and neglecting my studies and the opportunity to meet other people. I flourished once I walked away.

Pix5 Fri 10-Jul-26 13:40:19

I regret being kind to people who were never my friend. I regret trusting people. I don’t regret giving to charity, especially animal charities. I have however turned into a person that finds it difficult to be friendly now. I tend to stare and not smile. I’m no longer the same person I used to be which is a shame. I think hurt does that to you.

boheminan Fri 10-Jul-26 13:24:30

I regret (1) not carrying on driving and (2) marrying on the rebound, but as my mum used to say 'If wishes were horses, beggars would ride'

Taichinan Fri 10-Jul-26 13:16:43

This thread has got me thinking. I'm sitting here at nearly 85 yo in my lovely little home, set in its glorious big garden, with views over sea and hills and thinking how lucky am I. I have many regrets about how I come to be here - in a perfect life DH and I would be living out our happy old age in the hills of Perthshire, but he was killed in a road accident aged 48 - but I truly believe that we are all where we're meant to be at any given time. It doesn't matter what we did or didn't do to be here and now, this is where we'd be. So no regrets, just lots of gratitude. 🙏🥰

BlueBelle Thu 09-Jul-26 18:28:47

Gran22 I too regret my choices of men, definitely.

I also regret not have the many thousands of pounds that others regret spending poorly.

When I see the openings young people have now the great variety of careers, the wonderful travel opportunities I don’t regret but wish I could maybe have lived in a different era.

All of this is pointless so it all is what it is and I m thankful for what I do have and do think sometimes, but I rarely get too tied up with regrets 🤣

Sago Thu 09-Jul-26 17:06:00

I regret not going NC with my parents.

I should have done it at 18.

Gran22boys Thu 09-Jul-26 17:00:29

I regret hurting people and I definitely did. I regret some (most) of my choices in men.

AGAA4 Thu 09-Jul-26 16:55:15

For me it's pointless having regrets as I feel I have got to this age of nearly eighty fairly unscathed.
Giving money to family has left me with less but rescued them so no regrets there.
I've had choices and could have gone a different way but will never know how that would have been.
The only real regret was DH dying at age 51 but I had no choice about that.

AmberGran Thu 09-Jul-26 16:40:26

There are a few regrets I have, some financial, some emotional. No major life changing problems, but I certainly made a few mistakes along the way.

I don't think about them except as a lesson learnt. And a bit of shame that I hurt one or two people along the way without even realising it until much later.

Erica23 Thu 09-Jul-26 16:39:58

I regret never having a carer, or at least worked more hours. Maybe then I would have had a pension.
We naively thought my DH pension would be sufficient, but he had to draw on it at 50. Then my parents became ill, and I became a gran at 45 so I was always busy.
The upside is that I’ve always been around for my children and everyone else.

SpinDriftCoastal Thu 09-Jul-26 16:18:50

I wish I had understood my parents better when they were the age I am now. I realise how little they complained even when faced with huge adversity and how much they 'just carried on' facing each event as it came. They were a generation that I don't think will come again.

ferry23 Thu 09-Jul-26 10:31:25

I'm sure many of us know that old saying .....

....."If ifs and buts were pots and pans, we'd all be tinkers".

And ain't that the truth.

JamesandJon33 Thu 09-Jul-26 09:49:16

It’s not a regret for it never came my way. But now in my eighties I regret not having a thumping great love affair.