Regrets I have a few….

Oh my where do I start .

Too many regrets and I regularly beat myself up, but remind myself how I have grown and the wiser person I am now .

Sadly being kind can be a curse.

I regret not getting divorced 30 years ago , I regret putting up with an obvious affair between my husband and ‘friend’ and believing the lies that I was told

I wish I had been more confident and less shy when I was young.
I wish I had travelled abroad more when I was younger.
I regret the consequence to others of a major decision I once made, but not the decision itself.
But I don’t dwell on any of these, no point now. Live positively.

Same with me Newatthis
I met Hinsekf when I was 17 and he was 19 ½ and we married when I was 20 and one week.

We had almost 52 years together until cancer took him away from me 2 months before his 74th birthday. A huge loss and I’ve had to find my feet in so many ways - who knew they were just at the end of my legs?

I was loved and looked after and I miss him terribly always will he’d been my life since I was a teenager. However in the hospice he exhorted me to Stay Strong and “find the joy of living” by picking up the threads of my life. My Mr Generosity thinking of me right to the end of his days.

And I am and I do the best I can to honour his memory. If it happens then we can either move forward with love and gratitude or stay stuck in our grief.

I know what Himself wanted for me. The same as every loving partner would want for their beloved. We just have to be brave and find our inner self again. It is possible. x

I have never lived in my own. I went from living with my parents to being married (which I have been for 47 years) and I am now terrified at the thought of my husband dying before me as I’m not sure how I would manage. I wish I would have left my parental home and got a flat with friends when I was younger. I didn’t at the time because I didn’t want to leave my mother with my father as he had a very bad temper and I was the only one who could calm him so I felt protective towards my mother.

Ah, thank you.
Just feeling a bit maudlin of late.
It'll pass, I'm sure.

MissAdventure

I can't even write down my regrets.
They weigh heavily on me.

So sorry. Really.

Yes I regret doing something when I was 16 and I always will. It was for revenge and I've been sorry ever since.

Ah, thank you both.
I started to write them down, then deleted the lot.

MissA 😢

MissA

I can't even write down my regrets.
They weigh heavily on me.

FriedGreenTomatoes2

Love that comment V3ra!

He eventually used the money to buy a saxophone 🎷
He did music A-level so played to a good standard. I used to love listening to him practising upstairs 😊

Thank you Meandrogrog 😊
Exactly that.

Love that comment V3ra!

FriedGreenTomatoes2

OTOH much as my mum loved her static caravan and depreciation in value didn’t matter as they kept it and used it for 20 years (not rented out - it was full of mum’s shoe collection!) the fact that we bought this little apartment in Málaga instead of a static in Wales (crossed our minds fleetingly I admit) has squared the circle on the financial hit we suffered in 2007.

This is because the value of this property has in fact doubled over the 22 years we have had it. Which was a comforting thought for Himself at the end. At least he got to know that.

Yes its a much better buy. I am so pleased for you to have made up the loss and hope you have had much enjoyment from it ❤️

DS did a paper round from 13 and both DDs were waitressing from 15 to earn their spending money. They’d all had Post Office accounts from birth and put any birthday and Christmas money in there.

Our children did the same.
My younger son once asked me quite seriously,
"Mum, exactly how much do I have in my life savings ? 😁

I wish I had studied different subjects and worked with animals instead of disfunctional humans! The grammar school I went to was hopeless at career advice for females, no idea and no experience of anything other than teaching.

OTOH much as my mum loved her static caravan and depreciation in value didn’t matter as they kept it and used it for 20 years (not rented out - it was full of mum’s shoe collection!) the fact that we bought this little apartment in Málaga instead of a static in Wales (crossed our minds fleetingly I admit) has squared the circle on the financial hit we suffered in 2007.

This is because the value of this property has in fact doubled over the 22 years we have had it. Which was a comforting thought for Himself at the end. At least he got to know that.

Well that's certainly not been our experience Doodledog and Meandrogdrog.

We bought our first second hand static caravan 12 years ago, did part exchange 3 years later for a new lodge and then 2 years ago part exchanged again for a new double lodge on a different site, owned by the same family.

Of course we got a good price because we upgraded to new models but were still pleasantly surprised by what we were offered.

We sold our house and downsized to this lodge which we live in and are able to do so, because we also have a flat which is our permanent address.

They do depreciate like cars but in the 12 years we've been owners, I've never come across or heard of the depreciation in value that you've referred too Doodledog.

It pays of course to do your homework. The multi generational family business we've always dealt with have 8 sites on the East Coast. Their annual site fees are extremely competitive and owners are not allowed to rent out.

We bought a lodge on a lovely site in the Peak District with a view to renting it out to holidaymakers and also booking time for which ever members of the family wanted it as well as using it when it was vacant.

This worked well for a while but then, as Doodle says, the site was taken over and the new owners wanted everyone to have new lodges. At that point we opted out and took the hit.

Doodledog

The trouble is that at any point a friendly family site can be bought out by one of the big chains and everything changes.

If anyone is considering buying a caravan or lodge, please check out HPAG (Holiday Park Action Group) as they are bringing a class action against mis-selling and other sharp practices such as making profits from insisting that owners buy wifi, decking, sheds and other items through the site office at massively inflated prices.

Many people do lose tens of thousands, particularly if they have been told they can live on site - you can't do so legally, whatever they say - and at the first sniff that you might have come to the attention of the council you can be evicted with nowhere to go, as second hand units are worth very little. a new lodge or caravan can easily cost £100k, but as soon as you buy it it is worth £40k and the following year you'd be lucky to get £20k for it, unless you can sell it privately, which many sites make extremely difficult, by offering potential buyers incentives such as 'free rent' if they buy direct from them. The rent is, of course, added to the price.

Also, people on some sites are told that they can rent out their units, but the reality turns out to be very different, as the site takes over lettings, and brings in people with vouchers from newspapers, giving them a week's holiday for £10, from which cleaning and fuel charges are deducted.

Some people do stay lucky, and get a lot of pleasure from their sites, but that could change overnight. My advice to anyone considering it is to hang fire until the class action has happened, and see whether holiday parks become regulated with teeth behind the regulations. As it is, site owners are laws unto themselves, and they know it.

That is really well summed up, you are really well informed on the reality of buying a holiday home.

You are correct in saying the true value of the units after just one year drops to around £20000. That is all we were offered and trying to sell to a private buyer is made difficult.

It became such a weight on my mind that decided us to just take the financial hit.

I am really impressed that you are so well informed about these holiday homes!

The trouble is that at any point a friendly family site can be bought out by one of the big chains and everything changes.

If anyone is considering buying a caravan or lodge, please check out HPAG (Holiday Park Action Group) as they are bringing a class action against mis-selling and other sharp practices such as making profits from insisting that owners buy wifi, decking, sheds and other items through the site office at massively inflated prices.

Many people do lose tens of thousands, particularly if they have been told they can live on site - you can't do so legally, whatever they say - and at the first sniff that you might have come to the attention of the council you can be evicted with nowhere to go, as second hand units are worth very little. a new lodge or caravan can easily cost £100k, but as soon as you buy it it is worth £40k and the following year you'd be lucky to get £20k for it, unless you can sell it privately, which many sites make extremely difficult, by offering potential buyers incentives such as 'free rent' if they buy direct from them. The rent is, of course, added to the price.

Also, people on some sites are told that they can rent out their units, but the reality turns out to be very different, as the site takes over lettings, and brings in people with vouchers from newspapers, giving them a week's holiday for £10, from which cleaning and fuel charges are deducted.

Some people do stay lucky, and get a lot of pleasure from their sites, but that could change overnight. My advice to anyone considering it is to hang fire until the class action has happened, and see whether holiday parks become regulated with teeth behind the regulations. As it is, site owners are laws unto themselves, and they know it.

FriedGreenTomatoes2

Meandrogrog

I regret buying a static caravan on a holiday park while waiting for our new build to be ready. We thought we would still holiday in the static but in reality it was difficult as it had to be rented out to cover the huge annual service charge. In the end we sold it at a loss of thousands. I would advise never, ever buy a holiday home static, they fleece people!

Swings and roundabouts here I think.

My darling late mum and my stepfather (now 94) bought a static caravan on a lovely quiet site in Wesham when they were both 60 and had 20 years of using it to their absolute delight.

They made many friends over those years used to make me laugh as a ‘young ‘in’ in my 50s “This is Tom and Jean/Hilary and Bill’ etc 😊 People I didn’t know but they were all holiday friends together such happy times especially for my mum it gave her another lease of life in her retirement.

Yes. after that I was considered a ‘rust bucket’ (it wasn’t) by the site owners and had to be carted off site at a cost of £500 (then) to them but the ownership and pleasure it brought them both wa immeasurable. 💕

I am so glad your mum and stepdad had such enjoyment from their holiday home.

Its probably fine if the site fees can be afforded without having to rent it out most of the time. The site fees for our holiday park rose to £7000 per annum plus there were other bills too, gas bottles, internet, water, electricity etc.

We had to let it out most of the time to try to offset these charges which also meant we could not keep any personal effects in the caravan and could not just use it as and when we wanted to.

In addition it got a lot more wear and tear than if we had just used it. Also after just one season the site downgraded the caravan so we could not charge the higher rate of letting.

We did nit think it through enough snd wish we had just rented.

We decided in the end to cut our losses and took what the site offered us to buy it back, losing in the region of £40,000.

fartooold I also regret saying 'yes' in court when I was 11 when the man my mother had just married wanted to adopt me. I'd been coached to say yes and didn't know I had a choice in any of it. A magistrates court is intimidating to a kid. But I didn't like him [good reasons not to].

When I found out I could have said 'no' [years later] I was fuming [still am] as he was an idiot and made my mother unhappy, broke and stressed the rest of her life. I was always 'in the way', a 'nuisance' and very unhappy too for years afterwards. My previously happy relationship with my mother was never the same again either.