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Giving Flowers!

(78 Posts)
SpinDriftCoastal Thu 06-Aug-26 17:26:57

Recently, a relative of mine sent me a huge bunch of flowers which must have cost them a lot of money which they don't have. Unfortunately, I hate receiving flowers and especially highly scented ones. I expressed heartfelt thanks as any civilised person would but was reminded of the old saying 'We give to suit ourselves not the recipient'. I would have much preferred a nice card or a 'phone call. Just saying.........

Patsy70 Thu 06-Aug-26 21:27:05

My lovely friend arranged these flowers for me when she came over for tea and cake recently.

Fallingstar Thu 06-Aug-26 22:19:44

Patsy70

My lovely friend arranged these flowers for me when she came over for tea and cake recently.

Those are so lovely.
And to those getting a bit snippy, please let’s not pile onto the OP for a turn of phrase or for being honest about the flowers on here, it’s not as if she threw them back at her relatives, she accepted them in the spirit they were given.
I think it is good that we can be honest about things on here whereas we need to be careful when with relatives and friends.

MT62 Thu 06-Aug-26 22:52:06

I absolutely agree with you SDC.
I love all flowers, even lily’s that smell like ‘burnt rubber’ but in a lovely garden.
I don’t think there is anything wrong in letting friends & relatives know I don’t like receiving flowers as I think they are incredibly expensive for you get.
Of course I would say I was over the moon if someone did buy me flowers.
I did treat myself to was an artificial arrangement that was quite expensive by the time I had finished adding to it. Some friends contributed some greenery to go with my display, which I was thoroughly suited with.

MT62 Thu 06-Aug-26 22:55:40

Patsy70

My lovely friend arranged these flowers for me when she came over for tea and cake recently.

I would be happy with those as they are already arranged by your thoughtful friend 😊

MT62 Thu 06-Aug-26 22:59:19

For some people it’s an easy thing to do is pick up a bunch of flowers from a supermarket. I’ve done it myself if I can’t be bothered to look for a present.
I am sorry if I sound negative about that.

NotSpaghetti Thu 06-Aug-26 23:07:25

SpinDriftCoastal had flowers delivered - this isn't the same as picking ip a bunch from a supermarket.

MT62 Fri 07-Aug-26 00:11:54

NotSpaghetti

SpinDriftCoastal had flowers delivered - this isn't the same as picking ip a bunch from a supermarket.

No that is true! Although i don’t think supermarket flowers are all that much cheaper.
I once received letter box flowers I thought they were half dead- but apparently that’s what they look like until come to life, again I think they are expensive.
I would just be as grateful with a nice card 😊

Olderthanidlike Fri 07-Aug-26 13:37:07

I'd rather have the cash.....

knspol Fri 07-Aug-26 13:57:38

I love to have flowers in the house and buy them regularly except in the summer when they just don't last. I've stopped sending flowers to people as I've been the recipient of many a tatty, half dead bouquet (generally from M&S). I've always thanked people and said how lovely they were except for one occasion when a relative wanted a pic so I had to tell the truth she complained to the company (M&S again) and got a refund.

Juneandarchie1 Fri 07-Aug-26 13:58:59

Maybe feel free to pass them onto someone who would appreciate them ? Sorted, and making someone else happy.😀💐

Ktsmum Fri 07-Aug-26 14:01:08

I have a friend who doesn't like flowers, I wish she would tell everyone because folks buy them for her and she gives them away

Harris27 Fri 07-Aug-26 14:09:19

I love flowers and would have been delighted. But if your not a flower person…

annifrance Fri 07-Aug-26 14:12:39

Receive with grace, maybe give them to retirement home or hospital ward. I love having fresh flowers in my house all year round. For the most part they are home grown.

Chaitriona Fri 07-Aug-26 14:41:09

My cousin once stayed with me and wanted to buy me a box of chocolates as thanks. I knew he didn't have a lot of money and I didn't want chocolates. We discussed it and he said it was true but it didn't matter, our culture (traditional Scottish highland) demanded of us both that we do this whether we liked it or not. Which I accepted in turn. I lived in a poor area and the big boxes in the local shop were for show rather than anybody ever buying them and had gone mouldy when I opened them

..it is a good and happy memory for me.

Your relative honoured you whether she could afford it or not. And you honoured her by accepting her gift in return. That is the true gifts you gave each other.

cc Fri 07-Aug-26 14:48:54

I like simple flowers, and much prefer a large bunch of a single coloured flower rather than a fancy mixed bunch - unless they are a freshly picked selection from somebody's garden.
I've had some truly awful small bunches of flowers delivered from online sites from time to time, usually very expensive. I think that's what happens around Mothers' Day though.

kassi Fri 07-Aug-26 14:51:01

My relatives know I’m not keen on cut flowers, so they usually buy me a selection of cheeses, which is most appreciated.

polomint Fri 07-Aug-26 14:58:58

I'm glad I am not the only one who doesn't like getting flowers as a gift. Although I would graciously thank the giver if I did receive them

Samsara1 Fri 07-Aug-26 14:59:19

I love giving and receiving flowers. Anyone who is likely to give me flowers knows I love lilies but if I am unlucky enough to receive a mixed bunch I try my best to arrange them nicely perhaps over a couple of vases. Juts sent eldest daughter some lovely roses and chocs from JL as she is having some treatment that she hates today. Yes expensive but she lives a good distance from me and I would spend that on the petrol to visit, which I can't do at the moment as a long period in the car is not on at the moment.

Doodledog Fri 07-Aug-26 15:08:02

I'm not sure it's particularly gracious to accept a gift with thanks - it is very basic manners. I have spent all my life buying presents for my mother, with a lot of thought put into choosing them, and she hardly ever likes them. She either makes her dislike obvious, or waits for a 'respectable' time to pass before telling me that she doesn't want me wasting my money on getting xyz again, as she's never liked whatever it was. It's very hurtful. I definitely don't buy to suit myself where she's concerned - I buy things I think she'll like (often as she's said as much), but she's just very hard to please.

I understand not wanting someone to waste money that's in short supply, but IMO that's no reason to let them know the money was wasted. A more tactful way would be to let them know how much you like chocolates, or bath oil or whatever, and hope they remember the next time.

MT62 Fri 07-Aug-26 15:15:20

Juneandarchie1

Maybe feel free to pass them onto someone who would appreciate them ? Sorted, and making someone else happy.😀💐

I do, I give them my mum 😊

Emerald888 Fri 07-Aug-26 15:38:53

I don't like being sent flowers for a birthday present. Half the time they don't arrive looking 100% and don't last long.
Many are £35+ with delivery. Particularly upsetting when for a birthday you get sent a few bunches and think what a waste of money!
A voucher would be more useful. Decaf coffee I like and a favourite shower gel. Which my son now buys me happily.
With the cost of living crisis and living in an area that grows flowers something useful is always best. Its fun spending vouchers on useful or favourite things.

Visgir1 Fri 07-Aug-26 15:53:28

I always send flowers to friends but occasionally I send an Afternoon tea.
I also have flowers in my house all the time.

Romola Fri 07-Aug-26 15:54:52

I'm widowed, but I do have people for meals now and then, If a guest brings cut flowers, I can't do anything with them at that moment - other guests to welcome, drinks to organise, cooking to be seen to - so they get dumped in a bucket of water. But it's lovely to have them for the next few days and I usually send a photo of them, arranged in their vase, to say thank you.

HelterSkelter1 Fri 07-Aug-26 16:18:25

MS letterbox Afternoon Tea I love getting. Much better than flowers which cost so much more and are often such a disappointment.
One friend did send me flowers and asked what they were like as she would use the company again so In ad to tell her they were half dead. She got a refund and wont use the company in future.
Some people assume I don't like flowers. Not true. Of course I love flowers my garden when not overheated is full of flowers. I just don't like delivered bunches. Especially multicoloured mixed flowers bumped up with cheap greenery.. but I would day thank you of course.

Jaxjacky Fri 07-Aug-26 16:22:00

My daughter bought me some on Wednesday, I love them as there’s very little alive in our garden at the moment.