What is our role as older people?

Tuliptree I currently have three permanent conditions I am aware of the hoop jumping

Only four weeks ago I spent an hour with the practice nurse and then 30 minutes with a GP negotiating (begging) not to be admitted to hospital there and then.

I imagine the majority of us will have various health problems as we age, it’s our attitude to those problems which are under our control, not the problems per se.

Sorry that was a response to GG . Also I want to add that some people with terminal cancer do not have well controlled pain relief or have other symptoms that make life really hard and their last months anything but worth living even with the most families. In the last 3 years I’ve lost 3 people really close to me with terminal cancer and their deaths and the few months before were dreadful.

And she was very lucky to have such a loving family who cared for her and facilitated her making the most of her last months. But you know it’s not like that for everyone. Chronic as opposed to terminal illness is a different beast and extracts a different toll. We know from posts on here how hard life can be for those caring for partners who’ve had serious strokes or Parkinson’s or have dementia. We know how poor support services can be. We see the hoops that some GP practices make patients on permanent medication jump through to get prescriptions. Living on your own, chronically ill and or with mobility problems can be really exhausting and it’s not as simple as pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start all over again.

To enjoy ourselves as much as we can and spend every penny before we die

Sounds like she lived life to the full

Well done your mum

Your last post

My mother lived with us for the last four months of her life, she had terminal cancer and could do very little.

Despite this she clung to life, enjoyed seeing her friends who visited, we would take her out to dinner, or in the latter weeks would hire a wheelchair and take her to her favourite shopping centres. Two weeks before she went into the hospice she had her hair cut and coloured at the hairdressers.

She took great joy in her grandchildren and great grandchildren, she loved chatting with my sister and I about our childhoods and our hopes and dreams for our futures.

I think what I am trying to say was she was grateful for all that she had had, and loved each day to the best her illness allowed. She definitely was not ready to give up on life, right up till her last breath 😿

Gango

What you said doesn’t actually mean anything
Life will deal you blows stop looking for other people to sort you out
“Pick yourself up and get back in the race”

Who is this addressed to?

What you said doesn’t actually mean anything
Life will deal you blows stop looking for other people to sort you out
“Pick yourself up and get back in the race”

I’m sorry Luckygirl. There’s a lack of empathy. Easy to take good health and mobility ( or at least good enough) for granted. We’re a very ableist society still in spite of advances.

Even if the conclusion is that there's no point, what are "we" going to do about it, though?

Tuliptree

Some ousters are spectacularly missing the point

I think you are right!

I would be doing all these lovely things - holidays etc. - if I were able. Most of the things I really enjoy are very very hard to achieve now: walks, singing, days out, going to concerts etc. I can plan nothing because I do not even know if I will have the breath to hold a conversation.

When these abilities vanish, that is when we have to ask what is the point?

I shall be 80 next year – and am thankful to be fairly fit and active and have a mind I keep active by volunteering to do accounts for a local busy charity. Most people this age – I find – are on Transmit -- rarely on Receive! Listening to others is just as interesting as telling others yours – but I find most people aren't interested – so I just listen and smile and continue to enjoy my life the way I enjoy it.
I think health has a lot to do with contenment in later life.

I do not have much family left, but I do have some very good friends, whom I keep in touch with. Those who live nearby I see regularly, those who live farther away, I email or phone.

I am still healthy enough to do my own housework and shopping and some gardening (never a hobby of mine). I write academic articles in my field still, volunteer in a couple of local organisations and try to be an active member of my parish.

I am definitely not seen as the matriarch of the family. I was heavily involved with looking after the grandchildren but now they are grown up I rarely see them or their parents. My son phones us once a week, from the car on the way home from work. For many years I was also a carer to my mother but that has ended now. So I lead my own life, doing what I want to do while I can still do it. But in all honestly, I do wish it was different,

Quite simply, it’s me time 😃 doing what I like, when I like

I don’t zip my lip! Why would we. At our age we shouldn’t need too especially as we have worked so hard for the benefit of our children and Grandchildren. Today’s parents are offended too easily! I’m in my 70’s. 💐

Some ousters are spectacularly missing the point

I agree with Gango.
We have brought up the kids as well ad keeping a job. Now is the time to enjoy oneself. I am a member of a few clubs, enjoy holidays abroad as well as visiting my son and family in NZ.

"What's the Point?" and "Why are we here?" Or even "Is this all there is?" Humans, not just the old ones, have been asking themselves these questions for thousands of years. I find the answers here helpful and quite moving.

crazyH

Fartooold - what is LD ?

I take LD to mean Learning Difficulties.

(Tongue in cheek) judging from the amount of money I’ve spent recently, my role is to support the local economy!

We do not need a role. For most of us we have worked, raised families looked after our grandchildren if we are so lucky

We have a lifetime of experience to offer but a lot of times it’s overlooked as younger generations forget we were the go getters of yesteryear

So I suggest it’s time to enjoy the rest of what you’ve got and if someone calls on you for help then do your best to help them

Juicylucy

Mine is to be there for my family when im needed. Enjoy family time. But mostly enjoy my time doing the things I want to do. I’m booking a big holiday later this year to travel around Thailand. I’m going to drive from the south to Northumberland. My bucket list gets bigger every month. I’m divorced happy healthy and 70. 🌸

And if just walking down the garden were too much cos of breathlessness how then does happiness feature. Bucket list? .... I wish.

Don't misunderstand.me, I am not moping around all the time and enjoy lots of things that are within my limitations. But that list is dwindling, and I think it is entirely reasonable to feel sad about that and to ask what the point is some days.

I wpuld live to.be of use to someone! .... and I am in small ways I am sure. But there is nothing about all this that gets my vote .... and if anyone else tells me how strong I am and how young I look, I might resort to screaming. No grey hair is not an indication of health!

I don’t see myself as having a role. Perhaps women have got so used to assuming different roles throughout their lives, that there comes a time when we just have to be, to enjoy life, to do what brings peace of mind and take care of ourselves.